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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Married but alone

Posted by on May. 16, 2012 at 9:53 PM
  • 21 Replies

Im not sure if anyone else is at this point in their lives or not but Im married and have two children but feel single and often quite alone in my parenting journey. My husband is a good guy but works away the vast majority of the time and it has only been recently that I have been starting to feel this way. He figures because he is home a little more in the evenings 7pm or so that he is spending more time with us. I dont know how to convey that just being physically here and present isnt enough it's the quality time that we all need. Im feel frustrated and isolated as most of my mommy friends are quite busy with their partners/kids that I NEVER get out anywhere without my children which never used to both me at all.


Has anyone else been here? if so what did you do to try to improve the situation? At this point I feel like what's the point in having him around if he's not wanting to be actually invested in us as much as we are in him ...if that makes sense.


Thanks ladies for listening to me vent

by on May. 16, 2012 at 9:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tattooedmama126
by on May. 16, 2012 at 10:39 PM
I'm sorry honey. My dh works out of town and I hardly see him but when he's here we don't go out either. I want girls to hang with but everyone I know is busy too. It would help though to have a sitter and some me time. *hugs
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GotSomeKids
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2012 at 10:48 PM

My hubby is usually gone from 6am-730pm every single day and that doesn't even count deployments.  We had a serious talk about this a couple of years ago and decided to implement a weekly movie/game night with the kids.  Try and get in a monthly date night, but no longer than a quarterly date night.

Hope this helps!!!!!

lalaballet
by on May. 16, 2012 at 10:51 PM
See my reply in married single parent. Message me if you'd like.
SareyF
by Sarah on May. 16, 2012 at 10:51 PM
I'm there. But it's because my husband is absolutely emotionally unavailable and we fight a lot and then he shuts down and leaves me hurting and alone to take care of school and home and my two daughters and all...
I'm sorry. Hurts like Hell to have an SO but to feel so alone whether he's "there" it not.
I'm so busy and have routines and things with kids and all my friends and family have different schedules so I just do me and the kids all the time...it gets lonely but I'm plenty busy.
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lalaballet
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:40 PM
I would recommend the book laugh your way to a better marriage. Look it up, helpful and funny.
mal546
by on May. 17, 2012 at 2:43 AM

Sometimes, the huusband could be coming home early but he is emotionally unavailable so it is like he isn't there any way. Yours is both physicaly and emotionally unavailable so that is worse. He needs to call you during the day and catch up on what is going on with thekids and you or you call him. On weekends you could go on a date and have some family time. It is important to stay connected in some way. You need to talk this over with him and tell him how you feel. Good luck.

SOCO101
by on May. 17, 2012 at 2:47 AM

Yea, I'm there now. I've tried so many different things, I'm at the point where it just doesn't seem worth it to me anymore. I'm tired of putting 100% into this relationship and not getting anything in return. Sorry I'm no help, just wanted you to know you're not alone!

Girlsx22630
by on May. 17, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Me too.
Quoting SOCO101:

Yea, I'm there now. I've tried so many different things, I'm at the point where it just doesn't seem worth it to me anymore. I'm tired of putting 100% into this relationship and not getting anything in return. Sorry I'm no help, just wanted you to know you're not alone!


jenn75
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2012 at 9:38 AM
I know how you feel... Hub is a truck driver and is home every other weekend. For 3-4 days.
If something breaks I don't have the luxury of waiting for Hub to fix it. If I don't do it, it won't get done. I know how to cut grass, fix a toilet and do minor car repair.
Because he's gone, he's the golden boy when he's home. Kids want to be with him and listen to everything he says. Im chopped liver. I dont mind that really because it gives me a break. Lol
I cook, clean, work full time, run errands, drive kids, etc. Hub helps out and does things when he's home but it never fails...the day after he's gone something will break.
I used to get pissy when my friends would. Complain that they haven't seen their husband much or he doesn't help out with the kids enough but I've learned to let it go.
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mjsmom2010
by on May. 17, 2012 at 9:42 AM

im in that situation at the moment myself. I feel like a single mom living with a roommate

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