Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Frustrated to Tears!

Posted by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:40 PM
  • 13 Replies

I have been married now for 6 years together with my husband for 10, but I am feeling more and more alone! We have 3 sons ages 7,4, and 1. I am a SAHM and he works days the typical 8 to 5 shift at an office downtown doing IT support. We are struggling to make ends meet and have been discussing how to incorperate another job into the mix. He pushes me to work nights and leave him with the kids, but truth is when he comes home now days I cannot pry him away from that dam video game controller to save my life! From the moment he walks in the door he eats and goes straight to the couch where he remains until he falls asleep. He ignors the fact that I cook and clean up dinner, bath the kids, do homework with my oldest, read bedtime stories, soothe the fussy 1 year old cutting teeth etc! How can I trust him with the boys if he acts like the kids and I dont exist?!? I encourage him to job search and work nights because taking care of 3 boys full time on my own isnt easy and I am exhausted by the evening and there is still plenty to do! However he is SUPER un motivated to Help me or hold down any other job! He cant even refresh his resume or apply for jobs!!!I am sooo frustrated!! Not to mention over the past few weeks all he can say to me is that I wanted the kids, now they are my job! He tells me he brings home the pay check and I take care of the kids and its fair! I dont remember signing up to be a married single parent :( He is unenthusiastic about anything that involves his kids, acts like it will half kill him to lift a finger to participate and I am FED UP!!!! What do I do??? I already tried leaving him, he didnt come running back.....I love him so I came back.....and now I remember the same miserable reasons I wanted to leave! He is a gaming couch potato with no love and affection to give me or his kids! Its all about him 24/7. Even while money is hard to come by, he is eating lavish meals with co workers, and sometimes at night we make meals and I put my kids first they eat before I do and if they eat it all I go without. He comes home and just dives into whatever I made and scarfs it down plus cleans the kids plates when they are done, I stand there thinking he will notice his wife didnt get dinner....he says looks like cold cereal for you......how kind....NOT!

by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:40 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
3xangel
by Bronze Member on May. 16, 2012 at 11:53 PM
1 mom liked this

 You've listed plenty of reasons of why you SHOULDNT be with him. I'm all about working on a marriage, but both people have to want to work on it. I would suggest marriage counseling, because some times it takes some one on the outside looking in to help open your eyes (his). But, him ignoring you and the children is an automatic deal breaker for me. Looks like you have some hard decisions to make.

mybabiesmom1
by Member on May. 17, 2012 at 12:27 AM

it sounds like he is no longer interested in the marriage. my dh is a gaming couch potato as well minus the job so he plays allllll day long. i am a sahm and full time stupid and it in no way pays the bill so we are facing the harsh consequences of his lazyness as well. please do for yourself and children what i can't seem to do for myself before you get stuck down my rabbit hole. there was a reason he didn't come back. counseling might work..........

MamaCat1121
by on May. 17, 2012 at 12:32 AM
I agree with the above statement. You've listed plenty of reasons to move on with your life. What he's doing is unacceptable. Either work on it, put up with it forever, or leave him and make a better life for you and your kids.
Good luck and I hope you get some relief soon. All that stress takes a toll on you.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
GirlWithANikon
by Member on May. 17, 2012 at 12:36 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like he screwed up and now you get to sufffer. Marriage and children wasn't exactly what he wanted but didn't know til he had it. Now he is done. Face him and ask him is he interested in changing and being married and having children and what would, if anything, make him want that?

Maybe thats just not who he is. Maybe he wants you to leave and thats why he acts like that.

I'm sorry.

Autiziumom
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2012 at 7:00 PM
Wow that's a serious problem. That's why ur calld a couple( meaning two). I would have a serious talk with him. That's too much for u to do.
ShannaBee
by on May. 17, 2012 at 7:37 PM

Make a compromise. Tell him if you get a job, then he HAS to quit playing the games because he HAS to take care of the kids.

Rebeccaroe
by on May. 17, 2012 at 7:44 PM
This and sell the video game to be sure, he will live.


Quoting ShannaBee:

Make a compromise. Tell him if you get a job, then he HAS to quit playing the games because he HAS to take care of the kids.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mom2acutiepie
by Member on May. 17, 2012 at 7:47 PM

I'm sorry to say that I think you need to leave him. Take him to court and make him pay child support and spousal support until you can get on your feet. You are already doing all the work so you might as well be single and have the possibility of finding a good man would will treat you like you deserve to be treated. I understand that you love him but he has proven by not even caring that you don't get to eat that he does not love you back. 

WesternNYmom
by on May. 17, 2012 at 7:57 PM

Sorry, but I wouldn't put up with that bs. It is time to put your foot down.

lalaballet
by on May. 17, 2012 at 8:06 PM

PM me.  We have three boys and a girl, all under six.  Dh has been through the game stuff and it was when I was pregnant four years in a row.  It took years of setting my bounderies but I do have some tips if you would like and I have been there and won't bash you.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN