Roller coaster marriage...headed for divorce...2 toddlers included :(

[Str0ng3rMom]

I need advise big time. I have no friends at all in this town. I've lived here for 6 yrs. now, moved here, following my husband, who at the time was my boyfriend for only 6mo. But we had known each other longer. We've been married almost 5 years, have a cozy home, almost out of debt..(due to him being veryyyyyy CONTROLLING with money...his latest deal...took my debit card, and gives me an allowance if needed. The best thing he gave me, my TWO boys, Brayden who is 3 and Noah who is 2. They are 15 MONTHS APART!!! (homemade twins). I love them with all my life and more, which is why I need to figure out if divorce is going to help at all...is it better for kids to be in a home where daddy yells at mommy, calling her "b" words and making her cry...(not that I'm innocent) or do we get this divorce over with and do it while they are young. :/ HELP HELP!! Really need a friend, would love if I could find someone local who can eventually be a best friend. I miss that. :/

[MFountaine]

First off I'm so sorry you are in this situation, I'm kinda in the same boat too. Where are you from? I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk to. :) pm me anytime. I'm trying to figure out the same thing in my marriage. At the moment I'm trapped because there's no way I can provide for my boys (4 years old and 7 months old) on my own. I just got a part time job and have no one to turn to either. It sucks.

[-mrs.mamma-]

so sorry you're having to face that situation.

my first advice is always counseling, if you're both willing. maybe even family therapy. if there's any hope at all to working it out, try your absolute hardest to do that.

if there's resistence on his part (or yours) and there's no desire to work things out, then yes, I would say it's better to go separate ways. it's never an easy, bump-free path, but two separate loving homes with happy parents, is better than a volatile, unstable home where both parents are unhappy.

HUGS!

[Str0ng3rMom]

I'm in northern ky. About 15 min. From Cincinnati :) your story sounds just like mine! I would love to chat :) where are you from?

[jeriballinger]

sorry about your pain right now :( if you need to chat Im haer.... divorce sucks and so do bad relationships!

[MFountaine]

I'm from Texas. 10 mins from Dallas and Fort worth, I'm right in the middle in Arlington. We can definitely chat tho. :) Like I said I'm always here if you need to talk. Even just to listen to you vent, its better to get it out rather than bottle it up.

Quoting Str0ng3rMom:

I'm in northern ky. About 15 min. From Cincinnati :) your story sounds just like mine! I would love to chat :) where are you from?

[3xangel]

Quoting -mrs.mamma-:

so sorry you're having to face that situation.

my first advice is always counseling, if you're both willing. maybe even family therapy. if there's any hope at all to working it out, try your absolute hardest to do that.

if there's resistence on his part (or yours) and there's no desire to work things out, then yes, I would say it's better to go separate ways. it's never an easy, bump-free path, but two separate loving homes with happy parents, is better than a volatile, unstable home where both parents are unhappy.

HUGS!

[Str0ng3rMom]

@mrsmamma--- we are seeing councler now thru our church. That night we are great. Then back at it again the next day, hes done.

[-mrs.mamma-]

Quoting Str0ng3rMom:

@mrsmamma--- we are seeing councler now thru our church. That night we are great. Then back at it again the next day, hes done.

if he's done, then there isn't much you can do to save it. it takes two to want the marriage to successfully save it.

have you tried/heard of The Love Dare?

[pristine729]

Where do you live mama?

Your relationship sounds unhealthy... In that case, it would be better for the children if you leave :( otherwise, the kids will grow up treating you and other people/women the same disrespectful way. By you allowing it, it shows the kids that it is acceptable behavior.

I know you're in tough spot. And the emotional pain that comes with it.

[MFountaine]

She's in northern Kentucky. And I agree with you all the way. :)

Quoting pristine729:

Where do you live mama?



Your relationship sounds unhealthy... In that case, it would be better for the children if you leave :( otherwise, the kids will grow up treating you and other people/women the same disrespectful way. By you allowing it, it shows the kids that it is acceptable behavior.



I know you're in tough spot. And the emotional pain that comes with it.