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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

I get home and he seriously says this... advice?

Posted by on May. 22, 2012 at 9:51 AM
  • 13 Replies

So, i work an 8 hour day, and am at softball games with the kids for three hours, running around after my 3 yr old the whole time. You can imagine how my days go. 


I get home at 9 lastnight from my daughters games and he's asleep on the couch. i make the bed so he and the baby can go to bed. i wake him up to go to the bed and he says, (in his whiney voice) "make me something to eat, im starving". i was like wtf?! 


I didn't have much of a filter after he told me that and i said, "you have been home since 6 and still have the audacity to ask me to make you something to eat? you're a grown ass man, you can make your own dinner!"


He rarely helps with the kids, our son being ours, my daughters from a previous marriage, so he's not really involved with anything they do. he's freaking lazy!!!!

I always make dinner unless i have games to go to that are always 30 minutes away, so its an hour total drive at LEAST 3 times a week. Not only that, but im gonna get a second job to make ends meet.

Usually the day after he says something douchey like that, we'll talk about it over txt while at work but he hasnt txt or anything. Apparently this is gonna be a bigger issue. im not his frkn slave! i do his laundry, cook, clean the house, work, take care of kids and ALL THEIR needs, plus his, and apparently its not enough?!


How do i tell him maturely what i feel? He gets mad real easy so i dont wanna end up having a mojor fight over this... i just want him to realize what a douche bag he is. ive even taken the rap for him on a car accident so he wouldnt go to jail and had my license revoked because of it. HE asked me to take the rap. its not like i wanted to do it. 


Sigh, i know i deserve better but its hard to start over. i dont have family or means to get my own place.


i just need help to make him realize all this :(



by on May. 22, 2012 at 9:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BonitaM
by Platinum Member on May. 22, 2012 at 10:19 AM
2 moms liked this

Sigh, i know i deserve better but its hard to start over. i dont have family or means to get my own place.

Doesn't sound like he's contributing anything anyways......throw him out and keep the place.  You go above and beyond and yes, you do deserve better.

catrig
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2012 at 3:49 PM

Tell him he is responsible for making his own dinner.

bobbysangel2006
by Member on May. 22, 2012 at 3:54 PM
1 mom liked this

When he asked for dinner I would have handed him a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread.

thatislife
by on May. 22, 2012 at 3:56 PM
1 mom liked this

The phrase "you teach people how to treat you" is coming to mind.  I think effective immediately you DO let him know the status quo is changing and then change it.  Yes, this may push your relationship to being over but this relationship as it stands does not sound like a healthy one or one worth keeping.  You are young and you will be better on your own if he can't step up to the plate. 

mal546
by on May. 22, 2012 at 4:01 PM
3 moms liked this

Oh goodness. He gets mad easily so that you stop complaining. this is a tactic that they use so eventually you stop saying anything at all and you are silenced. This is happening in my house too. You need to stand up for what you will and will not tolerate and he has to listen. Don't back down. You set the rules by how you act and what you say. If you don't complain then he thinks his bad behavior is alright with you. The thing with the car. Would he have done the same for you.?i hope the answer is yes. We women will do anything for our men because we care but do they care for us in the same way? Sadly the answer is often no. This person is not appreciating all that you do for him and the family. He needs to help out or at least take care of himself when you are not there. You are not his slave you are his partner. Let him know that you expect to be treated as an equal partner.

starreyedcutie
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2012 at 4:16 PM
Wow
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ruby_jewel_04
by on May. 22, 2012 at 4:21 PM
1 mom liked this
tell him to man up. He's a little whiney boy in a grown mans body. None of that shit would fly in my house.
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thatgirl70
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2012 at 4:29 PM

That irritates me. I mean, my DH is gone a lot because he works in the oilfield, so about the only time he gets a home cooked meal is when he's home (or sometimes at his parents house--their house is in the same town his job is based in, so he stops by there sometimes). I don't mind cooking for him and with dinner it's not a problem. But maybe I don't want to cook breakfast that morning? I just want toast and cream cheese. But he'll wait until I fix something. Hello, you like to eat cereal, go pour you a bowl!

Ugh, the car accident thing, my niece did the same thing when her husband wrecked the car. Ladies, not smart. Don't screw over your driving record for anyone, including your spouse!

You're just going to have to be blunt with him. 

vixen42
by on May. 22, 2012 at 8:02 PM
1 mom liked this

he can't fix himself a sandwich?

lookFwD
by on May. 25, 2012 at 12:33 PM

sorry for the delayed response ladies. 

we finally talked about it a couple days later, when he was tired of having to make his own breakfast, lunch and dinner. wash his own clothes and be home all day alone. he said he was sorry and was wrong. he's been helping me a little more around the house and more with our son, which is such a big relief. crossing my fingers and hope it stays this way! 

Thank Yall so much for your advice!!!!!

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