I met my husband when I was 14 and we started dating when I was 16. We have now been together for 9 years but only married 1 month. We have had our ups & downs as all couples do, but overall a pretty great relationship.
We have a son and I gained a lot of weight with the pregnancy. That caused me to lose my self confindence and I didn't want to have sex as often, maybe a few times a month. In the last 6 months I have lost 45 lbs and obviously that caused me to feel better about my self and now we have sex almost daily...
OK...now I'll get to the point. A few weeks ago I picked up my husbands cell phone after he fell asleep to make sure he set his alarm. I saw a bunch of recently used apps that I didn't recognize. Turns out they are anonymous chat room apps for trading pictures and videos with other people. Like very, VERY sexual pictures and videos.
At first I decided to let it go, but it was still in the back of my mind and driving me crazy. So against my better judgement I looked at his phone again last night. And oh boy, was I shocked. In the last day..yes 24hrs, he sent messages to 80 yes 80 different women. Telling them about fetishes he has, that in 9 years of being together he never told me about. And telling them that he's "married and horny". He's sending pictures and videos of himself masturbating!!!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!! I feel like he's cheating on me, I feel like I'm not good enough. AM I OVERREACTING? Should I talk to him about it?! HELP ME! I'm so sad and distraught about all of this :(
OK so I asked my husband to come home from work early so I could talk to him, I just couldn't wait until 8pm. I confronted him about it and he immediately apologized over and over again. He said it was just "j*** off" material and nothing more. He also said that he wasn't trying to hide it from me, he was just embarrassed.He promised me he would delete the apps from his phone and never do it again.
I told him how it made me feel, that it felt like he was cheating and that it made me feel like I wasn't good enough. And he really couldn't apologize enough, saying that if the thought ever crossed his mind that it would make me feel this way or that i would feel he was cheating, he never would have done it. To him, he says it was just harmless fun and really never thought it would make me so upset.
I don't know, we have never had any problems with trust or infidelity in the 9 years we've been together and 11yrs we've known eachother. I know deep down he really is a good man, and never purposely hurts people, even people that aren't really important to him. I think I believe him but it will definitely take some time for me to recover from this and trust him 100%.
Do you think I'm being naive and too quick to forgive?!