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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Vasectomy... needing advice ***UPDATE***

 DH had the procedure done about 2.5 months ago. Up until the last 2 weeks his sex drive has been through the roof. Always bugging me about it. I on the other hand have had very little interest in sex since our 1st child was born in 2004. I put in the effort for him, but I could go weeks and never think twice about it. We have 4 children now and felt our family was complete, so DH decided to get snipped. I told him that he didnt need to and not to do it if he thought there was any chance at all that he would regret it.

The last 2 weeks he has slowly quit hounding me. Yes, I liked it at first, but now Im not sure what to think. He says now that he is sterile he lost all interest. =( He still finds me attractive, just isnt interested in sex anymore.

Have any of you dealt with this? What can I do to help him? I dont want him constantly nagging me all the time, but I dont want him to stop completely. There is a happy meduim right?

 

*** UPDATE ***

Thank you all for your replies. DH and I have had a few conversations about everything. He says it is all mental, and he is just having a really hard time with the thought of never having another baby. I am doing everything I can to support him emotionally, and things are going well so far.  I make sure to go the extra mile to make sure he knows Im still attracted to him. He is starting to get that spark back. Im just praying that we can find a nice medium so that both of us are happy and satisfied.

Thanks again, ladies!

by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 7:52 AM
Replies (21-29):
mcr17
by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 6:14 PM

my DH is getting a vasectomy after this baby is born. I worry about that too, especially since he doesn't have a very high sex drive as it is. I'm worried hes going to lose interest all together and we will never have sex again.

maybe try those things that increase arousal? Maybe he should talk to his doctor.

AFWifeNMommy04
by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 6:15 PM
Quoting La_Vie_en_R0se:




I honestly hadn't thought about him possibly being depressed. I'll make sure to keep that in mind. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, and I really hope it's a simple solution that I can help with. Thanks for the input! I really appreciate it!
countrygirlkat
by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 7:10 PM

I would have him talk to his doctor because they told us when my DH had it done(2 months ago, lol) that it wouldn't effect his sex drive at all.  If his doctor checks and it is all good then maybe it is a mental thing where he knew there wasn't a risk of another kid so it made him all horny and now he figures hey if she doesn't want it why should I try so hard?  Hugs. 

needabreak8
by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 10:48 PM

i agree i bet it is emotional.. not feeling manly since the surgery.

Quoting La_Vie_en_R0se:

I am sure that is not the case...a lot of guys are more sensitive than we give them credit for.  Maybe he is just having a hard time mentally with the vasectomy.  While the vasectomy itself would not cause low sex drive or testosterone levels to dip, he could be struggling emotionally with it and THAT could cause his drive to suffer.   Could he be depressed OP?  Sometimes after a procedure such as this that can happen...

Quoting Metteba:

OH, Honey... He found someone else to bang. (That's what happens when you don't give it up...) Getting a vasectomy has nothing to do with a man's sex-drive, whoever told you that lied to you. And if he did have a low-sex drive cuz of having his balls snipped he is 1 out of 5,000,000, just not possible, nope, no way!!

 


PrinceMomma486
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 8:39 AM

Isn't it sad when people bring that nonsense to you? Men aren't interested in sex for a variety of reasons just like women....its pathetic when people are quick to assume the guy is cheating and women are not doing their 'job'....makes men look like sex fiends and women are non compliant prudes...smh...disregard any ignorance like that hon...

Quoting AFWifeNMommy04:

Quoting Metteba:

OH, Honey... He found someone else to bang. (That's what happens when you don't give it up...) Getting a vasectomy has nothing to do with a man's sex-drive, whoever told you that lied to you. And if he did have a low-sex drive cuz of having his balls snipped he is 1 out of 5,000,000, just not possible, nope, no way!!



Wow, that's kind of harsh. Who are you to be judging my husband like that?! I asked for advice to help him, not bitchiness.


La_Vie_en_R0se
by Member on Jun. 12, 2012 at 12:07 PM

You're welcome and good luck!

Quoting AFWifeNMommy04:

Quoting La_Vie_en_R0se:




I honestly hadn't thought about him possibly being depressed. I'll make sure to keep that in mind. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, and I really hope it's a simple solution that I can help with. Thanks for the input! I really appreciate it!


Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jun. 13, 2012 at 1:45 AM
My DH has had it since 2002! Sex drive is fine! We go in spurts b/c how life is going!! But his*coughs*member&drive is normal!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Lesliemom2mzjm
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 2:44 AM

have his testosterone levels checked.  but other than that, he's either jerking your chain, or it's all mental for him.  he's probably talked himself out of sex now that he's not longer potent.

AFWifeNMommy04
by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 7:20 PM

BUMP!

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