MIL advice and venting--sorry so long but please read me
Okay, so my FIL passed away last January. We knew it was coming and he really is in a better place, he suffered enough. About a month ago my MIL moved in with us because my SIL is a horrible woman and kicked her out. We spent over $2000 on my MIL and FIL in the last year to help them out. Not regretting it, just feeling a little taken advantage of and here's why:
So she moved in a month ago. I am 24 weeks pregnant, and my DH and I have a 3 year old, 20 month old, and our 13 year old step-son is living with us. She moved in on a whim. It was me putting together a moving truck, moving people, plane tickets, getting her room ready in our home in aobut 36 hours. (We're not in the same state so the moving of her things were really tricky)
Anyway, so she's here now and I'm starting to effing hate it. This is her routine. Wake up about 9 am, drink coffee and smoke about 3 to 4 cigarettes (I hate smoking). Then she either sits around for about an hour (and I mean she sits on the couch and does nothing) or she goes back up stairs and what I like to call--hides. Then she comes down and sits on the couch again or stands by the island and watches me or stares out the window. THen she sees if I made enough lunch for her (sometimes when I cook lunch for the kids I have enough for her, sometimes not) Then she might fold some clothes if I washed anything, or she might sweep but she doesn't moving anything (like the kids' table or the rug) Then she takes a nap, then smokes more and more then waits for my DH to come home and I make supper and then she watches tv till midnight or later. And smokes more (about a pack a day)
The woman thinks she is way more sick than she really is. She's 49! She's fine. We live in the country and she found a tick on her so now she thinks she has lyme disease. I had to take her to the ER because she had a siezure and brokes some ribs (this part is not meant to be mean it is a real disease and we need to get it under control), they gave her high doses of pain pills and she still complained of hurting. Im sure it hurt but you're drinking whiskey with your pills, don't complain to me-ya know.
She just recieved disability $4800 for back pay and in July will recieve $600 a month. She gave us $900 becuase (well, becuase I bitched so much that she did) She has helped me out cooking 1 time--1 TIME!. I cook supper for 6 people every damn night, help me out lady! She can't drive so I have to take her everywhere, got it, it's not that big of a deal but sometimes I just want to go with me and my kids. She also recieves food stamps-$200 a month. I think she could help contribute that to the family that she lives with and she does a little but what pissed my DH off is that he practices non-orthodox Judiasm (so I do to becuase it's easier to make food if we're all eating the same thing) She bought a bunch of things that we can not eat-my DH told her he doesn't want it in the house. I understand that she lives here too but come on, you can live without ham, shrimp, etc. Plus I make the suppers so...
I've talked to her about all of this, my DH has talked to her about all of this and then we did it together once. We told her to tell us how we can all make this better. It's really horrible, we're not at each others throats, she just does NOTHING all day. She told us she's going to go live in assisted living and the state is going to pay for it but I'm thinking not. She would have to start doing something to actually get that far.
Help me...what would you do....and no, she has no place to go.