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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Is it ok to text my husband about marital concerns?

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2012 at 7:39 AM
  • 24 Replies

My hubby and I haven't been spending much time together lately and I feel super lonely. We both work part-time, but we are usually home together in the evenings. When I ask him to watch a movie with me he never wants to, and even if he does he has his laptop or phone going the whole time. I tell him this bothers me, but he doesn't care. He isn't very romantic either... I do nice things for him all the time to express my love for him (gifts, cooking special meals and deserts, thoughtful texts, compliments) and get nothing in return... Even on holidays, I don't get gifts or anything. When I tell him that I need these things from him he tells me I'm the one with problems. The other day he said I was acting like a bitch because I texted him while he was a work about wanting to spend more time making each other happy and  that we should work on having a better marriage... I hate when he calls me a bitch. I know I'm not perfect, but I at least try to change, to be a better wife. I don't think he even thinks at all about being a better husband. We're not talking to each other right now, because I'm still hurt about the bitch thing...childish, I know. I just want to spend more time together and I want him to show me more love and affection! Is that too much to ask of my husband!?!? How do I approach him about this topic for the millionth time? I'm so burntout... I have asked him to go to counseling, but he refuses. Is my marriage over? Gosh I hope not, for our son!!!

by on Jun. 17, 2012 at 7:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CrazyLife1996
by on Jun. 17, 2012 at 8:51 AM
How long have you been together? Has he always been like this? If not when did his attitude change?
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ConnorMom228
by on Jun. 17, 2012 at 9:45 AM
2 moms liked this
I say, stop trying to please him. Stop doing special things for him all the time. He's obviously taking it all for granted. Either he will notice and say something, or stay oblivious. His reaction will tell you how he feels about you. What you do after that is up to you.
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lil_mama06
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2012 at 11:31 AM

He's a selfish,unnappreciative boy...I'm sorry you have to go through that...HUGS HUGS HUGS

SnowWhiteDS
by on Jun. 17, 2012 at 1:06 PM

They say you will never know the value of what you have until you lose it so stay for some time away, dont call or make special stuff, dont ask, let him feel alone and you will find him coming back to you and if not then something is wrong and you need to find out what it is?

Krysden
by Platinum Member on Jun. 17, 2012 at 1:17 PM

I was wondering the same things

Quoting CrazyLife1996:

How long have you been together? Has he always been like this? If not when did his attitude change?


PartyGalAnne
by on Jun. 17, 2012 at 2:00 PM
2 moms liked this

I have news... your husband does not love you or respect you. Move on!

"Never make someone a priority who only sees you as an option."

emarin77
by Silver Member on Jun. 17, 2012 at 2:11 PM

You need to have a talk with him in person.

Brandiec214
by on Jun. 17, 2012 at 2:19 PM

 Mine use to do that A LOT! then I started acting just like him and saying the same things he said to me to him..... He turned it around. He thought I wanted to leave him. I didnt thats far from what I wanted. A month or so later from that, he proposed to me and has been great for the most part. Most Men just dont think AT ALL like we do. its only  about them and what they want first. So sorry you feel this way.

JennPearce
by Jenn! on Jun. 17, 2012 at 2:33 PM
I agree with this. If anything you won't feel so frustrated when you are trying so hard to make him happy. Focus on yourself & your son :) hugs!


Quoting ConnorMom228:

I say, stop trying to please him. Stop doing special things for him all the time. He's obviously taking it all for granted. Either he will notice and say something, or stay oblivious. His reaction will tell you how he feels about you. What you do after that is up to you.

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DarlaHood
by on Jun. 18, 2012 at 1:53 AM

Well, the "bitch thing" as you call it is kind of a big deal to me.  I don't find it childish.  I believe we teach people how to treat us with what we expect and tolerate.  I simply would not tolerate my husband calling me a bitch. 

I would say if he won't go to counseling, then you still should.  I'm not sure treating him the way that he treats you will help improve your marriage any.  However, you should only do what you want to do with a good heart.  Don't force it.  A counselor will help you establish boundaries for yourself, and hoepfully if he loves you and your son, he will start to come around and maybe even join you in counseling.  If he is disrespectful though, I would absolutely not tolerate that.  It sounds like he takes you for granted.

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