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Where do we go from here??

Posted by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:52 PM
  • 10 Replies
1 mom liked this
Me and my SO are engaged to be married and he's been pulling back from me and getting mad when I being up the word marriage I tried to be romantic tonight while he was at work and set up a candle lit dinner and a candle lit bath for us.. I go on the computer and come to see he's skyping other woman I'm not sure if it's sexual but I'm really hurt Im not sure if I pushed him to to start talking to other woman but he is he wants a baby to be sure he wants to really marry me first.. Makes no sense... What should I do??
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mom1928
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:57 PM

I surely wouldnt have a baby.  How long have you been engaged?  I would think if he is skyping other women, its not just platonic.  There must be something going on.  I would talk to him about it.  If he won't open up, then I would think about calling off the engagement.  If he acts like this now, it will only get worse if yoou get married or have a kid.

crystalrbp
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 11:05 PM
I agree with pp. I wouldn't even think about a baby right now with him acting this way. That's not a good a really bad excuse. Really? He wants a baby before he decides he wants to marry you? If he felt tht wa, why did he ask you in the first place? Sorry, but men skyping with other women when they are in a serious relationship pisses me off. My xh did that same thing for the last two years we were married. I wouldn't be playing his games sweetie
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Diananick
by Member on Jun. 19, 2012 at 11:20 PM
We've been engaged for a year we had a miscarriage a year ago I just found out about the skyping I asked him about it he said it was nothing sexual he loves me and he doesn't want to set a wedding date because he's afraid what his family would think what kind of excuse is that??? If he really loved me he wouldn't be skyping other woman he can't be in this relationship and act single I don't play that game.. When I found the messages on the computer I flipped out on him I told him were over and he called me 50 times I didn't answer I finally answered and he did he loves me he's sorry and he started crying I was hurt y was he the one crying idk what to do I'm def not having his baby anytime soon I don't want to be engaged anymore until we figure out were we stand... Any advice???
jazziemommy2012
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 11:33 PM
I agree with the pp it doesn't sound like he is committed been there done that if he's doing this now hunny it just gets worse
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jazziemommy2012
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 11:35 PM
I know how hard it can be to let go but sometimes you have to completely let go four them to realize how important you were to them
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Diananick
by Member on Jun. 19, 2012 at 11:41 PM
I'm so hurt right now should I leave him or should we try to work things out??
Diananick
by Member on Jun. 19, 2012 at 11:44 PM
I'm always going to wonder what he's doing now I do everything for him I treat him like a king I don't understand it
la_bella_vita
by Bella on Jun. 19, 2012 at 11:49 PM

 Bump!

ShannaBee
by Platinum Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 11:31 PM

(((hugs)))

Talk to him. Tell him how hurt and disrespected you feel.

flowerfunleah
by Bronze Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 11:42 PM
Men often see no need to buy the whole cow when they get the milk for free.

Living with him, taking care of him like you are, shagging him, and now he wants to have a baby before you two get married or set a date? Sounds like he wants YOU to be with HIM but he doesn't want to BE with YOU, know what I mean? He wants a doting wife who will take care of him, raise his children, and keep his house clean but he wants the freedom of being single.

In short, he wants a mother. Dont be his mother.

Sounds to me like he wants to have a baby with you and the baby is the insurance plan for him that you'll always be around. I'd be afraid, after once having his baby, that he would use the child to control you into doing things he wants from you or even keeping you together with him. Don't let him do that and definitely don't let him do that to your future child if you were to have one with him.

He sounds selfish and controlling. I would leave him. It's hard to see those things but that's why you asked for advice right?
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