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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Emotional or is Dh being unappreciative?

I honestly just want to know if im being emotional or he is being a major douche. My husband got a new job a couple of days ago. I have literally done everything for him inorder for him to have the job got all his paperwork for his licenses, spent time and money just to find out the job is 100% commission now I do have a problem with it a little because now I have to pick up extra hours at work also attend school full time and take care of our daughter and make sure to have dinner picked out and have all the bills paid. Now during the day I take care of our daughter and then I go to work when he comes homes. I make sure she is sleep when he gets home so he can sleep before she wakes up. I stopped by the store before going home to get last minute groceries and when I get home he is laying on the couch, our daughter is in a diaper(she is 100% potty trained) thanks to me. And I ask him why she was in a diaper and he says because I wanted to put one on her it was the only thing he could find but yet where he found the diaper is the same place her undies are. That really upset me because I am the one who potty trained her and she doesn't need to be back tracked because he wants to be lazy. So I began yelling at him and he decides to say that I need to go to the doctor to get checked because I have issues and I'm emotional. Why is wanted to being appreciated and respected, me being emotional. I love him so much but for some reason lately all we have been doing is arguing. He has been saying smart crap to me a lot lately. And it is building up. He ruined my part of the dinner i asked him to watch my food while I went to the store again, I get home and its siting on the stove burnt while he is enjoying his nice meal. We have a great relationship a lot but lately its been stress and more stress. I don't know how to get him to change anymore. I have tried everything. I'm sick of talking if I could run off for just 2 days with our daughter I think he would appreciate me more and stop being such a douche. Ughhhh I just wanted to vent ladies sorry its long. Thanks for listening.

by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 12:30 AM
Replies (11-16):
Lizzys_mommy13
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 9:18 AM

It sounds like a little of both. Men are kind of brain dead. They have this thing called a "nothing box." Literally. I would recommend a book to you called "Laugh your way to a Better Marriage." It is hilarious, and it will help you to understand why your husband does some of the things you do. I have read it and my husband is in the process of reading it right now since we aren't in a position to go to counseling for a couple more months. It has helped us a lot and our arguing has slowed down quite a bit. 

AnnaHuney
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 10:14 AM

I think you're both just stressed.  Give it time, he seems to be taking things out on you, and you seem to be getting frustrated quicker and quicker the more it continues. 

taylorsmom32710
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 1:01 PM

Thanks ladies I really appreciate the advice. This afternoon was a lot better, we spoke calmly about last night. He apologized and said he was stressed because of the new job and he is ready to start making the money he deserves. which is understandable, he just wants to follow his dreams and have a career he will love. I knew we would get over this, I was just so fed up of arguing and him being mean. I don't want this to happen again, so we are going to buy the book that we were recommended on here. Hopefully that will help us build a better understanding and not be so quick to jump at eachothers throats. We usually have a good relationship and over come our differences easily but it seems like when something drastic happens like the new job, we always argue more and end up getting to this point. I don't think it should ever get to this just because of a big change. We both stress way too much over a lot of little things. I hope this book helps and if not when we get the means to go to counseling we will. You guys are an awesome bunch of woman and I really appreciate the advice.  

gracieb3
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 2:26 PM

He isn't being that bad but he is at fault twice from what I see. I do not think you are being emotional. I think there is a level of unappreciation for your efforts on his part and a communication issue on both of your parts but 30% you and 70% him. You are addressing your issues, he is not addressing his. You could address them in a more communicable way for  him to understand and he could be more reciprocating in how he takes it as well as how he discusses it with you. 

Give it three days and then calmly on the 3rd day tell him that you need a chance to talk to him. Ask him for a date and time and then schedule to have someone watch your daughter then. Talk to him and tell him your feelings. Expect him to point at your emotions as by calling a female emotional, it generally invokes an emotional response only proving the male looking to get out of trouble right. Don't prove him right in a wrong assumption. Explain your interpretation and what his behavior means to you. Let him try to explain his side.

Keep in mind you will disagree with it so don't respond in attack. Men do stupid things. They do what is easy. They never have any meaning implied and they rarely understand why it is so complicated or it's meaning to us. They are simple minded and so I would be guessing that the diaper worked for him because it's easier and maybe he doesn't want to wipe dd on the potty. Whatever his reasoning it was not to back track you but as soon as you point that out he had to become defensive and redirect you by what is an automatic play of calling a female emotional.

This is going to be a growth lesson for both of you. He needs it more but you both need it for your relationship. Expect it to happen again as that is how we learn in life and growing is hard. Communication when you both get it is awesome. Hugs and prayers. Don't stay mad too long. =)

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this

 (((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

ShannaBee
by Platinum Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 11:14 PM
1 mom liked this

Men can be such buttheads.

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