Dealing w/my Father in Law's joy in insulting people....
My father in law of late, seems to want to start fights w/ me no matter what it is I share, he has some sort of stupid demeaning coment. I am usually very nice, and he probably thinks too docile because I don't beat my kids down emotionally and physically like he did to my husband. He says that I should have known what i got myself into in a real insulting way when i was sharing how hard it has been since my kids have been off school for the summer. Seems no matter what i say, if he is in a cruel mean mood, a cutting remark or smart comment will soon blurb out of his mouth. I truly believe he emotionally abused my husband. My 5 1/2 yr old does not even want to eat at the dinner table w/ him. He also says stuff like , "boy you two just don't know how to listen, do u," to my kids. He is very insecure and I think it somehow makes him feel good about himself to push people around. I just really am struggling lately not to go on the attack against him. Please, any advice out there, dealing w/ my bully of a father in law?!?!? I start resenting my husband for not standing up to him when he says insulting stuff, but i think my husband is almost immune to it, thinks is is normal??? karen in motown
Quoting Amberleigh81:
Yep. Cut ties and tell him why. When he can act in an acceptable manner, he gets the privilege of seeing his family. Act like a child, be alone. This is the only way to get through to people like this. :(
As I have said before, blood is not always thicker than water. Family members shouldn't say mean cruel things and expect you to take and not get mad. My BIL was very similar to your FIL. One evening, I had it and totally gave it to him with both barrels - I didn't cuss, I wasn't screaming, I just calmly let my stinging words be free. Of course, then my MIL said I was being mean!! At that point, I told them I woudln't put up with this anymore and we left. We had very little to do with them for several years and it was perfectly fine. In fact, it was great not to have the drama and stress in my life.
Quoting tyanneS:
I don't see why you would go have dinner or be around him. If he is physically and emotionally abusive you need to keep ur kids away from him. Your husband is probably brainwashed from many years of this and puts up with it because he always has. Your FIL needs to realize this behavior is unacceptable!!
I'm sorry, but your job is to protect your children. If FIL is being mean to the point that your kids don't even want to have dinner with him, then it's time to remove them and yourself from the situation. I would calmly talk to your husband and tell him how you feel and that he needs to talk to his father. If he won't, then you should pull FIL aside and let him know that if he can not control his mouth, then he will lose the privilage of having his family around.
When you met your dh/so?
- Breastfeedermom
on Jun. 24, 2012 at 7:05 PM