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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Please, Dont come in here just to tell me to get a Divorce

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So LONG story short DH and I have never had it easy but recently we have had another bump in the road. But some good came from it...we FINALLY had an open, honest , mature conversation about our relationship.

DH is an admitted narcissist and says that he has tried to be happy but as a perfectionist he will never be happy...even if he was sitting on millions and sleeping with Miss. Universe. He says he is tired of hurting me and loves me and wishes I never would have married him because I deserve better. I deserve a man who I can actually satisfy. While he was saying all of this he is telling me he'd hoped to get me through nursing school and then left him for a surgeon or something.

It was hard to hear all of this but still sweet that he is willing to remain unhappy to get me to a point where I can stand on my own two feet.

I am unhappy but but for different (more fixable) reasons.

He is unwilling to go to counseling but will try to get on some anti anxiety meds which he desperately needs and see if that helps things.

I guess I feel like because Love has never been the problem for us that we can get through this and be happy all the while he is telling me that he will never be happy. Even if we broke up he would be miserable but in a new way and it would spare the family the pain of going through it with him.

I guess Im looking for some encouraging words as I DO NOT want to get divorced and am not one to give up so easily. He tries but simply cant bring himself to be a good husband.

What to do? What to do?

by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 9:22 PM
Replies (131-135):
DBROWNCHAT
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 5:26 PM


Quoting ProudMommy51006:

Awww, I sincerely hope anti anxiety meds will work wonders, I know they will help. It is fantastic that he is will to go to counseling. Good wishes!


No, she said he is 'UNwilling'  to go to conseling

ddemarco
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 5:31 PM

Religion is something that can be changed ;)  Well, except for me since I have seen the power of God in my life as well as some other things... Let's just say I have seen physical proof lol

Quoting BlueRay:

Agnostic....believe me...I wish I wasnt right about now :-/

Quoting lillybug222:

Pray.




ddemarco
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 5:34 PM

My husband isn't a self-proclaimed narcisist but it sounds like your DH and mine are very similar.  Only mine says he's happy but that I never will be.  I just roll my eyes and reassure him that I love him and I'm happier than he thinks I am and that I'm not leaving him.

I guess all you can do is reassure him that you aren't going to leave him no matter how much he pushes you to.  Besides, it's not what he really wants, or you guys wouldn't be married.  Tell him if he's going to be miserable, you will just be miserable alongside him and you will happily do so lol

loridori4
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 6:53 PM
Sounds like major depression to me. What you've described doesn't really fit the definition of a narcissistic personality disorder. http://health.yahoo.net/channel/narcissistic-personality-disorder.html
I'd bet ya meds will help a lot. I take lexapre, which is one of the few ant-depressants that are weight neutral. There can be some sexual side effects, but it levels off and can be fixed with meds too!
Pm me if you need to talk more privately.
ProudMommy51006
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 8:42 AM
Yes she corrected me already, I skimmed over it wrong apparently.

Quoting DBROWNCHAT:



Quoting ProudMommy51006:

Awww, I sincerely hope anti anxiety meds will work wonders, I know they will help. It is fantastic that he is will to go to counseling. Good wishes!


No, she said he is 'UNwilling'  to go to conseling

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