I just had a long conversation with DH. Myself and the kids have been enjoying ourselves on tour with him for almost two weeks now. All of a sudden I could tell DH was in a dark place in his mind.(Knowing him all my life I know every facial tick and body gesture) Anyway he brought up how the kids all seem to grow up so fast. How he has missed so much. Especially with our oldest Naomi (9) he says he doesn't know who she is talking half of the time when she is discussing her friends. He talked about how he's never taken our younger children Myles (6) and Riley (4) trick or treating because he has always been on tour. He talked about not wanting to miss concerts and soccer games anymore. He spooke about how he wanted to be a stay at home dad. How he wanted to be more involved in the kids' school. He said that he would quit today if he wouldn't be sued by venues for cancelling already booked shows. He said after he finishes the tour in August he is done. He also mentioned how he felt guilty too because his bandmates count on him to make a living. How they already resent him because he has been touring less to be home more.
I just listened. It was a lot to take in. First instinct I am really excited because it has been hard trying to do everything by myself. Since cd sales are down and there isnt much money in itunes downloads unless you are in the Lady Ga-Ga status the only way for musicians like DH is to tour, Which means he is usally home 100-150 days of the year. Not to mention how much the kids need him and miss him. Plus I miss my best friend when he is gone. When I came down from that euphoria I thought this could also crash and born miserably too. A lot of his idenity is wrapped up on being a musician. Outside of his kids and me performing is the only thing that keeps him together. its the only place he is an extrovert.Its where his wounds are healed and what he has done for the last 10 years to make a living. Away from the stage he is very introverted. He speaks with a lisp except only when he sings. I don't think he can handle leaving it all behind to be a stay at home dad.
He asked me what I thought about it. I told him that it was a lot for me to digest. I don't know what to say to him. Its strange that I can give suggestions to the couples, families, and individuals I work with everyday but, when it comes to my own relationship I am stuck