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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Need advice... ASAP!

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:07 PM
  • 34 Replies

 Ok... so here's my back story. My husband and I met the summer before my senior year. We dated for a while, he even lived w/ me and my mom. When we broke up we just went our seperate way, for almost 10 years!! We were both young. We had no contact, no phone calls, no emails, not even myspace/facebook. Then one day, almost 10 yrs later, I'm sitting at my house in England (I'm active duty air force) and he crossed my mind. I typed his name into facebook and BAM! There was his face just staring at me. That was April 27, 2010. I messaged him and we literally picked up right where we left off and were married 2 months later! I know, fast and crazy. But I've always compared guys to him, he's the only one that can put up w/ me, I'm quite the handful!!! Well, he has a 6 yr old from a previous relationship. The "egg donor", as I call her, has NEVER been in our son's life. Lawstin, our son, took to me right away and was calling me 'mom' w/in a week! He's never had one so he was super excited to get one! But I find myself STILL struggling w/ trying to be a mom. It's like EVERYTHING he does irritates me, I'm ALWAYS getting onto him... stop this, stop that, quite smiling, stop acting like a kid... who does that?! Is it just me?! I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to be a good mom to a child that you didn't give birth to but calls your son and wants to be a good mom??

by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MsMellyMc
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:09 PM

Therapy.  And patience.

good luck!

lillybug222
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:10 PM
Prayer.
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Nessie1369
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:15 PM

 Yeah, so far the therapy isn't helping and you can't really learn patience LOL

CrazyLife1996
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:17 PM
2 moms liked this
Patience and breakdown and join him. Kids are kids they keep us young.

You have to detach from your military structure and remember what it was like to be a kid. Kids are goofy and unpredictable.
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AriMommy
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:18 PM
3 moms liked this

You're realizing that you're not being the best parent you can, so that's a step in the right direction.  I think you need to figure out why the things he does bug you and then make a mental list of reasonable expectations to have of a 6 year old.  And remember that sometimes kids aren't the only ones who need a "time out".  If he's driving you nuts and you know it's mostly your problem and not his, then go hide in the bathroom/bedroom for a few minutes and just breathe.

MrsRinehart2010
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:19 PM

hm lots an lots of patience? jjust take your time and then talk to you husband about  :O(

MrsWhite101610
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:20 PM
1 mom liked this

The woman with the crazy life said this very well.

Quoting CrazyLife1996:

Patience and breakdown and join him. Kids are kids they keep us young.

You have to detach from your military structure and remember what it was like to be a kid. Kids are goofy and unpredictable.


nicole2884
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:20 PM

sounds like you may need some mommy time, go get your nails done or whatever relaxes you , once a week do something for yourself

im guilty of being a bit snappy with the lil man i watch, i remind myself "he isnt doing this to bug you , he is doing it because he is a kid "

tiredmama42
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:24 PM

I think any mom can get in that mode at times.  Need to find a way to accept the child for who he is and direct him in what you want him to do or not to do. If you are always on him he will grow up with low self esteem.. i am sure you dont mean to do that so you need a boundary somewhere that you can remove yourself from the situation before saying something you really wish you hadn't. 

MrsJHoward
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:24 PM
Aww, I know how you feel! It's hard when you don't grow with the child from birth. Maybe when you find yourself getting irritated, close your eyes for a second and reevaluate the situation. Then when you open them, redirect him to a diff activity or nicely ask him to use inside voice, or just plain stop talking. LOL. I'm always asking my daughter to stop talking. Instead of snapping (I'm guilty of this too) just try a diff approach. Good luck mama!
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