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Is it Abuse? (A Resource Guide)

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Hi Ladies,

As a future Social Worker, I felt it would be good to have a post in the Love and Marriage group that has information about the different types of abuse - and yes, there is more than just physical abuse.  I have listed some links below, and I hope that everyone will add more resources and /or stories so that we can keep it on top as a primary resource.  Feel free to include resources and information about abuse within an adult relationship, child abuse/neglect, and elder abuse.  It's not a fun topic, but I think it's vital that we have these resources available!

Here are a few links to get us started:

http://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse

http://www.asafeplacenh.org/abuse_types.html (be sure to donload the brochure!)

http://suite101.com/article/different-types-of-abuse-in-love-relationships-a12723

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm

http://alzheimers.about.com/od/advocates/a/6_types_abuse.htm

Here's a link to a post in the Babies group for more info about domestic violence: http://www.cafemom.com/group/babies/forums/read/17029403/Dv_info?last#last

by on Jan. 10, 2014 at 11:02 AM
Replies (161-167):
Cafe Steph
by Head Admin on May. 19, 2016 at 2:19 PM

I'm glad you were able to get out! 

Quoting ALynn565:

I was with my abuser for 5 yrs, and married for 3. It was a very bad abusive marriage, and me and our dd's were terrified of him... I got strong enough to get out, behind his back. The spouse abuse center helped us out. I was 14 hours away from my family. I called them when he was at work, they halped me come up with a plan, and ended up meeting me in a private place with my dd's, and took me to the spouse abuse house until I could get back home with my family. They were very nice, and helpful, and the house was really nice. I felt very safe while we were there, even though my ex had me and the girls all messed up. Since, then he has beat up 3 other women that I know of, and beat up his 2 sister's, mom, and step dad. His mom would never help any of us, or say anything to him when he was doing that to us either. We have been away from him since 1997.


Cafe Steph
by Head Admin on May. 19, 2016 at 2:19 PM

What are you doing to your partner that you think may be abusive?

Quoting YoungMa23:

what if you think you are abusing your partner but he.she days no to you how do you know and  how do you fix yourself

really need help


Cafe Steph
by Head Admin on May. 19, 2016 at 2:20 PM

It could be emotional abuse to threaten to leave and never go through with it, especially if you say that just to get him to do what you want. It sounds like you have more going on than just disagreeing on how you raise the kids, but have you talked to him about things and tried to come up with a compromise that you both can live with and that treats the kids more fairly, neither being too hard nor too soft? 

Quoting YoungMa23:

like a few times i said i'm going to leave you but he and I dont agree on treating the kids the same way I am more soft and hes more hard on them

is that abuse me if so how do i get help cant go to couseling i dont have the time sahm with twins and two boys 5 ND 7


ALynn565
by Member on May. 19, 2016 at 3:08 PM
2 moms liked this

He is controlling you, and you have been in it so long that you do not know how to get out.. I know, because I was where you are at one time.. Mine was also very phsically abusive too. You can always call the spouse abuse hotline, and get some help, and they can help you get a place based on your income, and you can get an emergency hearing for child support, and a counselor will go with you to court. After that you can apply for grants to go back to school that you do not have to pay back, as well as getting help with child care.. Another thing, if the mail gets to your house before your dh gets home, then apply for a credit card in your name, then when it gets there you will have it to take with you.. Also, if you have access to the checking account and your name is on it too, then go and take some money out on your way out to leave him.. It is your money too. You can get an apartment to where you do not have to pay rent, or if you do it may be $20 a month, just live there long enough to get through school and get a good job.. You and the kids can do this. They need to be away from the abuse too.

Quoting caidenavasmom: I'm in a very toxic relationship, we are not married and have three kids. I very badly want out but I have nothing to my name he took it all away, from my job to junking my car to making me push family away, making me quit school and not letting me build credit! My parents don't seem to care, they have helped my older sister buy a business and even take her on vacations, paying for her friends as well. I have no one :(


PogoPalOj
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2016 at 6:07 PM
1 mom liked this

bowing downYOU ARE A HERO!

PogoPalOj
by Bronze Member on May. 23, 2016 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I am so very glad that you found the courage and strength to get out.  Change is hard and scary, even if it is for the best.  Live a good life, teach your dds to be strong women and believe in yourself!

Quoting Cafe Steph:

I'm glad you were able to get out! 

Quoting ALynn565:

I was with my abuser for 5 yrs, and married for 3. It was a very bad abusive marriage, and me and our dd's were terrified of him... I got strong enough to get out, behind his back. The spouse abuse center helped us out. I was 14 hours away from my family. I called them when he was at work, they halped me come up with a plan, and ended up meeting me in a private place with my dd's, and took me to the spouse abuse house until I could get back home with my family. They were very nice, and helpful, and the house was really nice. I felt very safe while we were there, even though my ex had me and the girls all messed up. Since, then he has beat up 3 other women that I know of, and beat up his 2 sister's, mom, and step dad. His mom would never help any of us, or say anything to him when he was doing that to us either. We have been away from him since 1997.



Proudmommy41
by Member on May. 28, 2016 at 4:27 AM
My husband had done it to me before so I left him for three months...I came back it's better than it was but there are still moments.. am I wrong yo give him another chance?
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