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Is it Abuse? (A Resource Guide)

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2014 at 11:02 AM
Amy
  • 114 Replies
27 moms liked this

Hi Ladies,

As a future Social Worker, I felt it would be good to have a post in the Love and Marriage group that has information about the different types of abuse - and yes, there is more than just physical abuse.  I have listed some links below, and I hope that everyone will add more resources and /or stories so that we can keep it on top as a primary resource.  Feel free to include resources and information about abuse within an adult relationship, child abuse/neglect, and elder abuse.  It's not a fun topic, but I think it's vital that we have these resources available!

Here are a few links to get us started:

http://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse

http://www.asafeplacenh.org/abuse_types.html (be sure to donload the brochure!)

http://suite101.com/article/different-types-of-abuse-in-love-relationships-a12723

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm

http://alzheimers.about.com/od/advocates/a/6_types_abuse.htm

Here's a link to a post in the Babies group for more info about domestic violence: http://www.cafemom.com/group/babies/forums/read/17029403/Dv_info?last#last

by on Jan. 10, 2014 at 11:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Jun. 27, 2012 at 6:13 PM
14 moms liked this

Thank you... in my first marriage  (if thats what you want to call it ughhh) of 16 yrs I was abused and didnt realize it for a long time. I also kept thinking I could fix him and that if I couldnt "I" was a failure and felt guilty and had to try harder  ... I regret marrying him and I regret not leaving him much much sooner ... it was sooo shocking and so sad when of my 4 kids my two young teens (the oldest 2 ASKED me t leave him)I had thought my kidswould hate me if I left their dad, plus I had no money nowhere to go and no employability skills, they told me they didnt care, they said even living in a shelter would be better .... I left him within 1 hour of them confronting me that way and it was the best thing I ever did.... me and all the kids went thru 2 years of intense poverty once I left but we were close knit and a team and then our lives became better than we'd ever hoped and dreamed and we've been beyond happy ever since. : D

Sometimes divorce is a blessing and NOT a bad thing!

 YVONNE

aimesnyc
by Amy on Jun. 27, 2012 at 8:49 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but so happy that you left and now have a much better life!  What would we do without the love of our children? :)

Quoting earthangel1967:

Thank you... in my first marriage  (if thats what you want to call it ughhh) of 16 yrs I was abused and didnt realize it for a long time. I also kept thinking I could fix him and that if I couldnt "I" was a failure and felt guilty and had to try harder  ... I regret marrying him and I regret not leaving him much much sooner ... it was sooo shocking and so sad when of my 4 kids my two young teens (the oldest 2 ASKED me t leave him)I had thought my kidswould hate me if I left their dad, plus I had no money nowhere to go and no employability skills, they told me they didnt care, they said even living in a shelter would be better .... I left him within 1 hour of them confronting me that way and it was the best thing I ever did.... me and all the kids went thru 2 years of intense poverty once I left but we were close knit and a team and then our lives became better than we'd ever hoped and dreamed and we've been beyond happy ever since. : D

Sometimes divorce is a blessing and NOT a bad thing!


Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together.  ~Pearl S. Buck

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

One should examine oneself for a very long time before thinking of condemning others.  ~Moliere

MomToovey
by Marianne on Jun. 27, 2012 at 9:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 Thank you for sharing!

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:49 PM
1 mom liked this

 Thanks for sharing!

earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Jun. 28, 2012 at 6:19 PM
4 moms liked this


Quoting aimesnyc:

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but so happy that you left and now have a much better life!  What would we do without the love of our children? :)

Quoting earthangel1967:

Thank you... in my first marriage  (if thats what you want to call it ughhh) of 16 yrs I was abused and didnt realize it for a long time. I also kept thinking I could fix him and that if I couldnt "I" was a failure and felt guilty and had to try harder  ... I regret marrying him and I regret not leaving him much much sooner ... it was sooo shocking and so sad when of my 4 kids my two young teens (the oldest 2 ASKED me t leave him)I had thought my kidswould hate me if I left their dad, plus I had no money nowhere to go and no employability skills, they told me they didnt care, they said even living in a shelter would be better .... I left him within 1 hour of them confronting me that way and it was the best thing I ever did.... me and all the kids went thru 2 years of intense poverty once I left but we were close knit and a team and then our lives became better than we'd ever hoped and dreamed and we've been beyond happy ever since. : D

Sometimes divorce is a blessing and NOT a bad thing!

 

thank youhugs awww thank you hugs. I am so lucky to have such awesome kids (they are all young adults now ) and I am also grateful that 2 yrs after my divorce I to my utter shock met the love of my life, my bff, my soulmate (didnt believe in soulamtes until we met honestly) and he had full custody of a 9 yr old daughter that I love as my own and he loved my 4 s his own and we finished raising them all together and are very close knit and I am soooo grateful the kids all got to see an example of a beautiful healthy fulfilling marriage  now too.....

Because our 5 kids saw first hand both of us have bad marriages and our mistakes and also an exceptionally good marriage that we have together now all 5 of them 2 boys 17 and 25 and 3 girls ages 18 20 and 23 have very high standards and dont rush things in relationships and dont want relationships where they feel they have to "fix someone or save them" we are so grateful they have learned such important life lessons thru us instead of making those mistakes directly themselves. We taught them thru example with our current marriage to never settle for less than your personal best... life is too precious and too short AND you are a role model of what marriage should look like for your kids like it or not.

 YVONNE

MommaC68
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 2:25 AM
2 moms liked this

 This is so important and although it's not mentioned (that I saw) the abuser doens't always know/admit they are doing it.  That is my situation and we have tried to confront him but because of his denial; I'm handeling it on my own.  I should have a long time ago but now it better than never.  Good and needed topic.

candicedh
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:21 PM

I have been through it 3 times,was sexual abuse including getting hit,slapped.I had black eyes,both of my arms broken.I admit the the decision I made 6 year ago I did not regret at all.It was my only choice,my 3rd ex boyfriend and I shot him with his own shot gun killing him instantly.Threatened me with a knife walking towards me threatening to kill me.If I did not do this,I would not be here today

aimesnyc
by Amy on Jul. 3, 2012 at 8:35 AM
1 mom liked this

Thank you for pointing it out.  I hope that he realizes it some day.  Until then, please stay safe. *HUGS*

Quoting MommaC68:

 This is so important and although it's not mentioned (that I saw) the abuser doens't always know/admit they are doing it.  That is my situation and we have tried to confront him but because of his denial; I'm handeling it on my own.  I should have a long time ago but now it better than never.  Good and needed topic.


aimesnyc
by Amy on Jul. 3, 2012 at 8:37 AM

I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that.  I cannot even imagine having to make that kind of decision.  I'm so glad that you are still here today to share your story and maybe even help others that may be in similar situations. *HUGS*

Quoting candicedh:

I have been through it 3 times,was sexual abuse including getting hit,slapped.I had black eyes,both of my arms broken.I admit the the decision I made 6 year ago I did not regret at all.It was my only choice,my 3rd ex boyfriend and I shot him with his own shot gun killing him instantly.Threatened me with a knife walking towards me threatening to kill me.If I did not do this,I would not be here today


candicedh
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 6:10 PM
1 mom liked this

It was not easy and I got lucky.It was called justified after an investigation was done,was on video tape.I credit my father for teaching me how to shoot a gun starting at 9 years old.When I shot and killed my 3rd ex in self defense,I aimed good and hit his heart.I am lucky now,married to my husband Micheal of 3 years whom treats me very well and he was raised this way.

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