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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

My husband....dirty old man or what?

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Okay, I need some advice from you ladies. I feel like lately my husband has been looking at everything with boobs. (yes, he loves boobs and ass). Anyway, it's bothering me. He never really noticed other chicks before . We have been married for almost 9 yrs, and we have 5 kids together. I just gave birth to our last one in March. He is the youngest of 5 with 4 older sisters. So, I have this friend that is married to a real douche bag. She is constantly searching for compliments and has to be the center of attention. We went lingerie shopping together. She came out with a boat load of stuff that looked amazing. I came out with a few pairs of boy shorts because nothing else looked good and my husband loves boy short panties. We're sitting there talking together, and he makes the comment to me about what would look good on my friend. That she would look good in anything that elongated her body and with garters, etc. This is after my husband told me as a joke on the way put that he would love to be there to give the "thumbs up". Then, my friend is standing there looking smoking in her lingerie cracking jokes about needing to send my hubby a picture to see of she gets a "thumbs up". My hubby is jokester and always has been. He swears that he is just joking with and that my friend is twisting it her way because she's an attention hog. My friend has told me in the past about an explicit dream that she had about my husband. I have been pregnant for the last 2 years with two boys 11 months apart. I have been diagnosed with PPD, and my husband has been amazingly understanding. It's like we're closer than ever. He bought me a new dyson vac that I wanted when my old vac broke. He bought me a $200 petunia pickle bottom diaper bag that I wanted for mother's day. I am spoiled. I'm also short and dumpy right now. My friend looks like a super model next to me. Should I be worried? I also made a comment about a mother and her daughter wearing matching short shorts in Wal-Mart last weekend. I said, "wouldn't you like to have the mother/daughter combo?". As I rolled my eyes. So he says, you know which one I would choose. I glared at him, and he said that I shouldn't have opened the door. Yes, it's true I shouldn't have....BUT stop freakin' looking you big ass perv! He also gloated about how the ladies love him in the jewelry store. They are all so willing to try on the stuff for him, and they tell him how lucky I am to have him, and how thankful I should be. I am thankful....very thankful, but stick to showing my anniversary jewelry options! Am I making something out of nothing?
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by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 9:01 AM
Replies (21-30):
Momof5kids84
by Lauren on Jun. 26, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Thank you. I honestly think that this is just my insecurities. My emotions are all over the place. I need to give him more attention and not just sex. He says that I don't laugh at his jokes anymore and that is his thing is to make everyone laugh. On the outside he his strong and nothing ever shakes his confidence, but me not being happy due to the PPD is taking its toll. The attention from women boosts him up when he feels like he can't please me. I agree that "tit for tat" is not the answer. I don't want to hurt him. I am going to try to show him my love and try to be more happy.

Quoting Midwest_Mom:

I don't think "tit for tat" is the right answer (please forgive the unintentional pun).  Looking at hot men to make him jealous will backfire on you.


You should sit down with him and explain just how uncomfortable this makes you feel.  I'd bet he doesn't fully understand.  He needs you to tell him.  Try that first to see if it helps.  Be completely honest with him.


I suffered a severe PPD after my last child was born.  It's absolute Hell.  Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  I hope yours lifts very quickly.

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kim8934
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 2:47 PM

not dirty old man, typical male.

JeanNJ2114
by Member on Jun. 26, 2012 at 2:56 PM

 Greetings - Wow, this is a hard one.  You did say your husband is a jokester so maybe he is behaving this way because it is his character.  But on the other hand, it is hurting your feelings.  Have you ever really considered sitting down with him and having a serious talk?  Many things can be solved by just doing that.  Let him know that it is really hurting you and wish he could just grant your request and quit it.  My counsin-n-law went through the same thing, but I think in her case she just had low self esteem.  Not saying what he did was right, but I know her and I think that is what contributed to it.   Best wishes.

MomToovey
by Marianne on Jun. 26, 2012 at 3:38 PM

 LOL, reminds me of me and my husband! Only, I know he's joking, and I'm always joking right along with him. If it does bother you, let him know. He can't stop if he doesn't know he's hurting you. Good luck

Nicki23
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 5:55 PM
2 moms liked this

OMG! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Now granted I haven't read every response to this, but there is no way in hell I would be the one to kick both their butts! To the curb or to the ground either one. I'm sorry where are you, cause I've got a few minutes I can come do it for you! I am so completely outraged by this whole situation. Your "friend" needs to go. Your husband needs to mind his manners or he can go to. I would lay it out just like that, you dont like the comments, and you SHOULDNT have to listen to them.

I understand guys look, I hate it with a passion when mine does, he also never use to but once I got pregnant with our twins it started. Anyways, I contribute it to my low self esteem right now, my once really cute mommy body turned into a walking reason as to why plastic surgeons make so much money.

Anyways, No way could I handle that situation, I generally get pretty bummed when I seem him looking, but to sit there and here him talking about it to, NO NO NO! I say, stand up for yourself! Don't let that duche bag allow you to feel this way, and as for your friend, well why have enemies?

Monsita
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2012 at 6:12 PM


Quoting ShesALady:

Umm wow I find that disrespectful. Am I the only one?

You are not the only one....I found it very disrespectful!

Brandiec214
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 6:13 PM

 I like the lady above me comment. There is no way my "friend" would be joking about my husband with out having a missing tooth. Second my husband wouldnt be saying something about my friends and them being sexy. I would be feeling the same exact way as you and but I would be saying something. As for the whole 2 wrongs dont make a right however in a situation like that I my SO would have to see how it feels in order to understand. I to dont look at other guys nor do I need or want to cause I have everything I need with my SO. He would flip if I were saying those things about his friends or even looking at another guy. Even though I do still catch him looking at other women but not like he use to.

Momof5kids84
by Lauren on Jun. 27, 2012 at 1:11 AM
He makes sexual jokes directed towards me, and she makes them about her. My hubby is like I didn't mean it towards her. Her husband flat out tells her that her belly is nasty and that she needs to lose weight. She is always crying about him. I feel sorry for her, but she isn't going to take solace in my husband.

Quoting Brandiec214:

 I like the lady above me comment. There is no way my "friend" would be joking about my husband with out having a missing tooth. Second my husband wouldnt be saying something about my friends and them being sexy. I would be feeling the same exact way as you and but I would be saying something. As for the whole 2 wrongs dont make a right however in a situation like that I my SO would have to see how it feels in order to understand. I to dont look at other guys nor do I need or want to cause I have everything I need with my SO. He would flip if I were saying those things about his friends or even looking at another guy. Even though I do still catch him looking at other women but not like he use to.

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BaileynMe
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 5:46 AM
This. It doesn't excuse his bad behavior, but I definitely think he sounds a bit attention-starved.


Quoting starry_dreamer:

Maybe your husband needs extra attention from you. He reminds me of a child that acts out for attention.

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thutch21
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 6:01 AM
1 mom liked this

My comment may not help and then again it might but I feel you on your whole situation, my amazing fiance of almost 4 years was great in the begining and then he went through the same stage your darling hubby is going through, and still to this day he has his glitches. I'm a very self conscious person due to the fact that I've never been a tiny person...I'm short and stocky and have always had problems with myself on the way I look. Cheer up butter cup, you are your own person and your hubby should love you for who you are, if I were you I would play along for a little while and when you feel that he has gone too far let him know, you may sound like a bitch at first but if he really understood and put himself in your shoes then he'd understand what you mean when you tell him he's gone to far! Good luck doll and keep your chin up!!!

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