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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Husband cheated and may have fathered a child....advice please

My husband had an affair with a married woman and she became pregnant. She says that the child is his but although she is married she is a habitual liar!!! Currently my husband is incarcerated and I just received a letter in the mail from the courts stating that she has filed an application on him for child abandonement. I am unable to get an attorney, as my husband and I hve 5 children that I am raising lone while he is away. This woman has made it very clear that she want's to be with my husband and has tried her best to torture me in the process. my husband hs had no communication with her since november of last year and at that point it was only to see the child one time. since then she has written several letters in which he has torn up or either sent home to me. iI sent all the letters and pictures tht she sent back to her. He was supposed to get out of jil on 6/11 but didnt and she filed this child abandonement on 6/12. My question is this...Is it even legal for her to do this when she is married herself? The law in my state(and most others) is that if a woman is married 10 months prior to the birth of her child that her husband is the childs "Legal" father. Is there anyone that has been thru this kinda mess before? I know that my husband ws wrong for cheating and we (as a married couple) have dealt and are still dealing with the infidelity.  He is doing the right thing now and wants no parts of her or the child. She is truly the defination of a "Homewrecker". This whole ordeal has been quite the challenge.. Now I just need some good advice from anyone who has been thru this or that knows info on what my next steps should be.

by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:12 PM
Replies (71-79):
mykidsmomabcde
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 2:59 AM

Thank so much to all of my fellow positive women who have posted on theis. I really ppreciate the one's who are here to give heartfelt advice and not judgement or ridicule. And to the one's who are saying negative things about my husband or I...just know that your comments are ignored!!! But I am definately taking "all" of the "good" suggestions and putting them to good use!!! He is definately going to hve a DNA test ASAP!!!! And for the one's commenting on him being incarcerated....KISS MY ASS!!!! Y'all haven't a clue why!! So get the hell off of your high horses and stop being so close minded PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! FYI he is behind bars on a traffic violation....and no it's not DUI or Vehicular Homicide!!! And like another woman said in this thread, until you have walked a mile in my shoes......dont judge me!! I hate when people try to act like their live are a fairy tale, or like their marriage is "Perfect"!!! That's  only a front.... so rather it's porn addiction, drugs, cheating, etc.....No marriage is perfect!!! Please NEVER say what you would do If it hasn't happened to you!!!!! Because trust me it's wy easier said than done!!!! I will NEVER ridicule or make smug remarks to a person who reches out for help!!! Obviously your grandma's didn't teach y'all the old saying...."If you ain't got nothing good to say, don't say anything"!!!!!!! 

MotherOF5Cuties
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 4:21 PM
He can take as many as he wants it don't mater. The judge wants it on paper from court saying ( her husband) he is not the father then she can file for DNA


Quoting mamaofficer:

So what if he takes a DNA test?




Quoting MotherOF5Cuties:

Right now her husband is the local father so she can't file for child support against your husband BC legally your husband don't don't exits right now once she gets a divorce then she goes from there. Well that's how it is in Michigan where I'm at






Quoting mamaofficer:

So you are saying, if a women is married and she gets pregnant from another man, the daddy gets off scout free. So what happens if the husband divorce her?



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MotherOF5Cuties
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 4:23 PM
For your husband
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OHgirlinCA
by Silver Member on Jun. 29, 2012 at 4:26 PM

 Your husband should demand a paternity test to see if he is the father.  If he is, he should step up and be one.  He shouldn't be washing his hands of the child until he knows whether the child is his or not.  You're blaming her for being a home wrecker, but your husband is just as much to blame as she is.  I can't comprehend why you would want to be with a criminal and cheater, but good luck to  you....

CameronsMommy23
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 6:28 PM
Here's another bump for you!! I'm not sure how that all works. Good luck to you!
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Redwall
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 7:27 PM

Good lord...dump him....like yesterday.

mykidsmomabcde
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 10:24 PM

Thanks so much for your input!!! I thought the same thing. My husband is going to take a paternity test but not before due process. From what I understand there are theings that hve to be done "Legally" before she can have my husband court ordered to take a DNA test and thats all im saying. Im really just trying to buy some time until he comes home. But once he is home then DNA will be taken. Not to mention this girl was also sleeping with at least one other man besides my husband and her husband that I personally know of. But guess what...she iosn't going after him!!! Why? Because she wants to destroy my family. I wish I could upload some of these letters that she wrote to him then you guys would understand better the situation. And please make no mistakes if the child turned out to be his we would support the child with no problem. However because of how she is and what her motives are we wouldn't do anything beyond that unless she were to change. Honestly we both don't even want her to know where we live. And this would be virtually impossible if we interacted with the child. We are just so tired of all the "DRAMA" that she brings to us because he refuses not to continue on in an affair with her. I have over 200 text messages in my phone where this woman has said such derogatory things to me. I cant even tell one of them because they are all way to inapproiate. But I have kept great records and have proof for any judge to see. So yes it will be a battle but the truth will prevail. But one thing is for sure God will work it out.  

Quoting MotherOF5Cuties:

He can take as many as he wants it don't mater. The judge wants it on paper from court saying ( her husband) he is not the father then she can file for DNA


Quoting mamaofficer:

So what if he takes a DNA test?




Quoting MotherOF5Cuties:

Right now her husband is the local father so she can't file for child support against your husband BC legally your husband don't don't exits right now once she gets a divorce then she goes from there. Well that's how it is in Michigan where I'm at






Quoting mamaofficer:

So you are saying, if a women is married and she gets pregnant from another man, the daddy gets off scout free. So what happens if the husband divorce her?




kimmaylove013
by New Member on Jun. 29, 2012 at 11:14 PM
1 mom liked this
The answer to this is, if it's done privately the husband would be responsible, if they go thought state channels, because they do blood testing to determine paternity the bio father would be responsible.

My brothers wife while they where seperated was sleeping around with his barocks mates, and so his middle child isn't his, and for some time she received childmsupport from the bio father, when they reconciled he legally had to take back responsibility.

Quoting mamaofficer:

So you are saying, if a women is married and she gets pregnant from another man, the daddy gets off scout free. So what happens if the husband divorce her?

Redwall
by on Jun. 30, 2012 at 7:48 PM

Time to dump your bum of a husband...sorry for being so blunt.

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