Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been together almost a year. He has a 4 yo little girl, I have a 3 1/2 yo little boy. They are 6 months apart. I have my son most of the time, despite shared parenting with his father. My bf has his daughter 2 days during the week.
Now, I'm not STRICT but I do believe in even at 3, (we started at ONE actually) cleaning up after yourself (toys), and having small chores (helping set the table, cleaning the table, helping with laundry like my son puts it in the washer bc he thinks its fun). Some days are harder than others and I ASSIST my son in cleaning up his toys, but I don't let him tell me NO or yell at me. I think when a child does that, it is disrespectful and they need to LEARN through guidance and talking and perhaps time outs that it is not okay to do that.
My boyfriend was over with his daughter earlier to pick up his wallet. (we do NOT live together). He was taking his daughter to a movie and she had made a mess in the living room with toys. Before they left, he told her to put the toys back. She started scream and crying saying things like "NO!" and "I can't clean them up, I don't know HOW" and then eventually she screamed "I don't want to clean them up!" He threatened to put her in time out, raised his voice, threatened to not let her play with his iPad, threatened time out again, threatened they wouldn't go to the movie. He told her "If I have to clean up those toys, we are NOT going to the movie" she just screamed, cried, REFUSED! At one point he LAUGHED because he asked were her arms broken and she wailed "YES!"
So they left in a huff. And he TOOK HER TO THE MOVIE!
Am I being ridiculous to think that he should NOT have taken her to the movie? They should have just gone home? I know it seems HARSH but he did not follow through on time out OR not taking her to the movie AND she yelled, screamed and did NOT pick up the toys? While I know you should pick your battles, if you threaten a child, should you follow through with such things? What is she learning by the screaming, crying, refusing and NOT doing what she was told and then "being rewarded" by going to the movie he said they wouldn't go to.
When I found out they went to the movie, I simply said "hmmm" and when he asked me "what?" I said it was interesting that you still went to the movie because you told her if she didnt pick up her mess, then no movie.
He said "we talked about it, got passed it and went to the movie. Because no matter what we were going to go somewhere and do something fun".
I guess I just don't get it. It irritates me because she is never held responsible for things. If she screams and cries, he says she is just "sensitive". He is always buying her toys, even if it is small. She isn't made to clean up her messes, she watches TV until she falls asleep late at night, and he takes her to McDonalds almost every single Thursday, she is allowed unlimited TV and video game time.
I love my boyfriend dearly, but for a while he was doing good...he FINALLY got her on a schedule at night with getting IN bed before 10pm, but she is still up until then and he FINALLY took her binkie away.
I don't want to FIGHT about it, but it really bothers me. Am I BEING RIDICULOUS? He says I'm just too strict and need to RELAX.
Xo RadsMum oX
<3 Est. 2008 <3