DH and I have been having issues for a few months. He's not happy and he knows he loves me, but isn't sure if he is still "in love" with me. It's heartbreaking to go through all of the unknown in my head. He told me after days and days of talking that he needs tome to figure out if this is what he really wants still. He says that he wishes that he could date me again to see if he feels what he once felt. I've told him we could separate a try it out but he doesn't know where he would go since DS and I would stay at our house and he can't afford two rental. So ok, back to square one it seems. I have been doing everything in my power to show him that I am still the person he fell in love with and after 8 tests together I still want him and only him. It seemed like we were on the same page of trying to work on things... until today. His cousin came over, and while I was upstairs, I overhead (ok more like listened) to DH talk talking about me and him. It sounded as though he told his cousin that he was DONE and that they should go.and get a house together somewhere and hecwas even talking about how much they could each pay for the mortgage. WTF! Did I seriously hear this??? My heart is now even more confused! I've come up with a scenario... we have plans to go to Vegas the first weekend of August. Today is the 1st of July and I want to give him until our trip to go stay somewhere else (this is not a hall pass though!) and figure out what he wants. DS starts kindergarten August 14th and I really don't want for him to start going and then I have to take him out and put him into another school because we have to move. If he can tell his buddies all that and how he feels, then why the hell can't he tell me??? My Mom say's it is because he's not hurting them, but he'll hurt me if he tells me. Yeah well guess what!? I'm hurt regardless and freaking confused. I could use honesty right now. Even if it does lead to a trial separation.
on Jul. 1, 2012 at 8:25 PM