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Completely off topic, but this group is less judgmental than the rest. Need advice. Edit with Poll

Posted by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:03 PM
  • 40 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Ask him to change the time frame?

Options:

yes

no


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Total Votes: 47

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I have a 4.5 year old from my previous marriage. I am 35 weeks pregnant with my now husbands child. My oldest DD's bio father would like to take her to his home state for a couple weeks (we live in CA, he wants to take her to WI). He has done this before in the past and I have never had an issue with it. But the time frame that he wants to take her is the exact time that I am due to give birth to this child. I am a little torn. On one hand, it would be nice for my husband and I to have this time for just us and the new baby and my oldest wont feel pushed to the side. On the other hand, my oldest is so excited to become a big sister and I am afraid she will be upset if she misses the birth.

So, I have no intention of telling my ex that he cant take her, I just need to decide when would be a good time. He has not yet bought the tix for them to fly back to his home state. If you were me, would you ask him to change the time frame he wanted to go? (to the best of my knowledge, there are no important family functions he or his family has planned during that time). Or do you think its a good idea for my husband and I to be alone with just the newborn? (admittedly, it would be a bit easier just caring for the newborn, instead of a newborn and a preschooler)

by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
celshep
by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:06 PM
3 moms liked this

Oh, I couldn't do that! It's an exciting time for the family and I just couldn't imagine my daughter and my son missing out on their new baby sister coming home. That being said, my 4 year old is actually going to be present for the birth - she is just really involved and excited about this kind of stuff.
I understand that it might be easier without her, but is it really better ?

mom23heathens
by Member on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this

 Send her to her dad. She will see the baby when she gets home.

ayla91
by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:07 PM
2 moms liked this

I would let her go. It will be nice for you to not have to find a sitter or something while you are recovering from the birth. She is too young to be upset about missing the birth. Shes probably just excited to be a big sister- either way she will be happy. Baby will be here and still tiny and new when she gets back. I would let her go.

Melissa0741
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:09 PM
I agree.


Quoting ayla91:

I would let her go. It will be nice for you to not have to find a sitter or something while you are recovering from the birth. She is too young to be upset about missing the birth. Shes probably just excited to be a big sister- either way she will be happy. Baby will be here and still tiny and new when she gets back. I would let her go.


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goddess99
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:13 PM

I would ask that he change the time frame so she can be there to see the baby.

98765
by Silver Member on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:38 PM
2 moms liked this
I wouldnt let her go then. My DD was that age when our second was born and they want to be included in everything. I fear she would feel leftout and pushed aside if you "send her away when the baby comes" ( her possible feelings, not so much my words)
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Ilaynasmommy
by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:42 PM
This.


Quoting ayla91:

I would let her go. It will be nice for you to not have to find a sitter or something while you are recovering from the birth. She is too young to be upset about missing the birth. Shes probably just excited to be a big sister- either way she will be happy. Baby will be here and still tiny and new when she gets back. I would let her go.


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blondieof3kids
by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:46 PM
I would let her go.
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AirForceWife13
by Member on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:47 PM
I say let her go. Unless you're a mother who wants her to experience the whole birth process. Depending on how long she will be gone you might not even have the baby in that time frame. If you do have the baby, call her right away of course and let her know that she's officially a big sister. I do not think she will feel pushed to the side. Good luck and congrats!
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GingerNeeSmith
by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:52 PM
2 moms liked this

why not ask her what she wants to do? Let her know she will miss the birth & baby will be home waiting to meet big sister. Let her know it is OK if she wants to stay & it will be OK if she wants to go.

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