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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

should i stay?

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 11:16 PM
  • 10 Replies
I can't trust him because of the lies he's told me and what he's kept from me, I feel like getting back at him but I know that's not the way to handle it I just don't know what to do I love him but is that enough is out daughter enough to keep the love strong?


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by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 11:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MMAx3
by on Jul. 9, 2012 at 11:30 PM

I am in the same boat. My man cheated on my while i was pregnant and after out 3rd daughter was born. He gets upset because I question everything now. Whose txting, y is it a secret, is it because I havent been able to lose the baby weight. I blame myself at times and now I am just lost and confused on what I shoudl do. We fight all the time but the one thing I do know is that staying with someone just for the kids is wrong. If u can not trust him anymore and u feel like it is over then end it but doing what he did to get back at him will only hurt u more. Do what u feel u need to do. I am still with my man and we still have alot to work out and through but I am doing it because I truely do love him

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:09 AM

 Only you know if it's worth staying. Do what's best for you and your daughter.

2ninos4me
by 2kings4me on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:15 AM
Id not stay because of our sons . I believe that my sons deserve rheir dad but he can be a good father to them rwgardless of whether we live together or not . Im a very resentful person so that would also make things harder for me to work on . So in your situation you gotta ask yourself wether you can forgive , trust him and move on ? But he is attitude isnt helping much . He messed up and should have the balls to try to work on things by being open and honest with u ! He is the one that. Messed up not you and he shouldkeep that in mine ! One thing i do know is when trust isbroken it cant be fixed no matter howmuch love is involved
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LatashaNicole
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:16 AM
1 mom liked this
Exactly! Try some counsling see if that will help good luck.

Quoting la_bella_vita:

 Only you know if it's worth staying. Do what's best for you and your daughter.

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Baby.on.board
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 1:21 AM

I had something happen to me where I couldn't trust him. I caught him talking to other girls and was doing this while I was at college. So I talked to him rather than just leaving because I love him. I'm not saying you should stay with him! I'm just saying think about what's best for your baby and then think about why you want to make it work (if you do). Baby steps!

Krysden
by Platinum Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 10:12 AM

Only you know what your deal breakers are.  

In my opinion.... an enviornment of distrust is often one with fighting and tension.   Neither of those things are good & healthy for a relationship.   And definitely not the example of a good relationship you want to be setting for your child.   You didn't say how long ago all this happened though.   When trust is broken it takes time to get back and has to be earned.   Is this recent or is it an old wound?  Are you the type that will be able to forgive and not use it against him later or will it constantly be brought up?

Matriarch87
by Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 11:13 AM

 The desire to be with him is enough to keep it strong.  I am a firm believer that trust is a voluntary choice.  Sure your natural senses may think otherwise but ultimately trust is a premeditated action.  If you dont trust him its bc you dont want to. 

EastCoastMom78
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:47 PM

 Depends on your situation. If he isn't willing to change and if you can't forgive him or trust him at all then you may need to leave. My husband verbally and emotionally cheated on me. He hasn't ever physically that I know of. I still don't trust him 100% but we have been working it out. If you guys can work it out by counseling and if you can forgive him then stay with him. If you can't trust him or forgive him then you may consider on leaving him. Know one can really tell you want to do. You will have to figure it out and decide what is best for you and your daughter. Good luck to you :>)

MomToovey
by Marianne on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:09 PM

 For starters, The Beatles were wrong. Love isn't ALL you need! As the other moms have mentioned, only you can decide what's best for you and your daughter. But it's my opinion that if you can't trust this man, then you don't actually have a relationship with him. And things like this usually only get worse unless you're both committed to making the relationship work - with that often comes counseling. If you're willing to work through it and he is too, by all means, give it one last shot - but give it your all.

Good luck

2lilmamas
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 7:02 AM
It take alot of love and devotion to make a relationship work. Among other things it also take two. Follow your hurt but remember your daughter does not need to be a negative environment. Stay strong wishing you the best.
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