I am 26 and I have been with my fiance for 8 years now. We have two kids together, both girls, 6 & 4 years old. My fiance in terms of being a father is pretty decent. It took him a while to get into the father role, but he's seem to be doing pretty well. So, him as a father to my girls.. not an issue at all. He loves them. The issue is him as my fiance, partner, and lover.
Its been almost 5 years since we've had our last child and thats really when my issue with him began. He's not intimate with me any more. He never holds my hand, hugs me, kisses me, or even has sex with me. If we have sex its once every 2-3 months. It has been like this for almost 5 years. I can't even remember feeling loved by a man let alone remember how to kiss a man. Now my self esteem has shot to hell and i feel all insecure thinking what is wrong with me. I wouldn't say that i am the hottest chick around, but i believe that i am still attractive. I did get some stretch marks from pregnancy and he says he doesn't care about those, but yet he's still not affectionate and intimate with me. When i go to kiss or hug him.. he always backs away from me. I know he's not cheating on me, so what am I left to do? I have tried everything from dressing sexy, attempting to entice him in every way possible. NOTHING WORKS!!
Now because this has been going on for so long, I feel like i'm at my breaking point. How long does a woman have to go feeling unwanted by her man? I don't want to cheat on him and be the bad person in the story. I am so desperate, I wish all the time that he'd cheat on me so that i'd have a way out. I've tried to be open with him about all this and he just tells me that i'm being a baby and need to get over it.
I want to leave him. This has become a very big issue to me. The kids are the ones that are keeping me with him. I would feel bad for having to make the kids suffer because of me and my feelings. If i were to leave, i'd let him see the kids anytime he wants. I just don't want to be part of his life anymore. So would me leaving him and taking the kids with me be selfish?