Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Jamie Oliver's Wife Confesses to Spying on Him & We Should Take Note - Do you think women take snooping on their men too far?

Cafe Steph
Report
Today at 11:11 AM
What are you doing this weekend? - CafeMom

I'm going to spend some time with my family this weekend, starting with Grandmother's funeral, then celebrating my

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 2:17 PM
  • 9 Replies

Jamie Oliver's Wife Confesses to Spying on Him & We Should Take Note

Posted by Ericka Sóuter on July 11, 2012 

binocularsWomen snoop. It's just written into our DNA. It's not just about being nosey. No. No. No. That is a gross over-simplification. We investigate, break down, discern. We have to get to the bottom of things. Basically, Sherlock ain't got nothing on us. It's a trait that serves us well, but there are times when we take our need to know too far. And that's usually when it comes to our husbands and boyfriends.

Case in point: Jools Oliver, wife of celeb chef Jamie Oliver, recently admitted that she constantly spies on her man. Basically, there is no such thing as privacy in Jamie's world.

"Yeah, I’ll check his email. I’ll check his Twitter. I’ll check his phone. Everything seems fine," she said. "He says I’m a jealous girl, but I think I'm fairly laid-back, considering."

Take note -- this is NOT normal ladies. It's a little too obsessive, don't you think? Though Jools certainly isn't the only woman out there using James Bond-type espionage to keep an eye on her man.

I know women that go through pockets, briefcases, check cellphone call lists, have their friends flirt with him to see how he reacts, the list of tricks goes on and on. I even have one friend who had her fiance tailed by a private investigator to be sure that he wasn't steppin' out on her. Honestly, if I were that worried, that untrusting of him, I don't think I could stay with a guy.

As cheesy as it sounds, if you don't have trust, you don't have much of a relationship, now do you? It would drive me nuts if I worried about him cheating every time he went out the door. If you can't trust him, cut him loose.

And if he's never actually done one thing to justify your crazy-pants paranoia, perhaps it's time for some serious self-refection. Bottom line: either he's the problem or you are. If it's him, it's time for a new man. If it's you, talk to a therapist or tune in for a couple of episodes of Dr. Phil for some sage, calming advice.

Do you think women take snooping on their men too far?

by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 2:17 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
CMS803
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 2:22 PM
I snoop from time to time, but its mostly just cuz I'm curious or I thought he acted a little weird about something. As long as he's acting normal and not being secretive or disappearing (which he never does, but if he did, I'd be hella nosey!!), I don't bother. But yes, some women do take it too far.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JillyBilly6
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 2:36 PM

Some women do take it too far!

I have had reasons to check his stuff in the past and I will admit to being nosey.

 I don't anymore though unless he's acting a little off or whatever and it's just to ease my own mind because I've never actually found anything, lol.

Momof5kids84
by Lauren on Jul. 12, 2012 at 2:51 PM
Have I gone through his stuff before? Yes. Was it silly and unjustified? Yes. I do think that going through his stuff is wrong. If you have to do it, then get out. It's unhealthy. I have trust issues stemming from the deteriation of my parents marriage. The lying, cheating, and deceit coupled with my low self-esteem cause me to be leery. This is a ME issue that I struggle to conquer. It is unhealthy and destructive behavior. However, if my hubby was famous, I would be tempted too look also.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ramonafrog
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 2:57 PM
I snoop. But only because I have reason. It's hard to regain trust once it's broken. I don't believe that secrets within a marriage are healthy. I also don't believe that mistrust automatically means the relationship is unhealthy. Every relationship has issues. No relationship is perfect. He knows I snoop. He is fine with it. He now has nothing to hide. Only people with something to hide have an issue with "invasion of privacy". In a marriage you have no privacy. you are fully open, accountable and vulnerable 100% to your spouse.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AriMommy
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 3:12 PM

DH and I don't snoop on eachother  as "snooping" sounds like something done in secret.  If DH or I want to know who the other one is texting, we ask.  We both get emails to our phones and though our phones are locked(to keep our four year old out), we each know the other's pass code.  We have a joint cell phone plan and if a weird phone number shows up, the other one will just ask if we wonder who it is. Neither of us asks any of these things very often though. I agree with ramonafrog that you have to be "fully open, accountable and vulnerable 100% to your spouse."  

I think if Jamie Oliver's wife is frequently checking all of his stuff though then there are issues within their marriage that the media is not aware of or she has trust issues from a previous relationship that she needs to deal with.  I can't imagine having time or wanting to constantly check up on my husband.

GhadeerDem
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 3:16 PM
:'(
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dingysfamily
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 3:20 PM

 I didn't read past that first sentence ... I don't think snooping is written into our DNA!!! I just do not agree with that.  I know so many, many woman that don't do that; in fact most of my friends & family don't do that.  I've never done it, didn't even do it to my first husband even when I started suspecting him of cheating on me at the end of our marriage .. but by then I didn't care if he was or not, it didn't matter to me at that point.  I knew in my heart he had found someone else he loved - not someone to just cheat with, that wasn't him.  I think anyone, man or woman, who snoops on their partner, is going to far.  I think if you have suspicions you need to go to the person directly and talk about it.  If they deny it - which I realize a lot will do - keep your eye & ears open and try talking again.  Eventually the proof will make itself known without snooping.  Why lower yourself to being a sneak, like the other person.  Get professional help.

SuperMom2433
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2012 at 3:20 PM
I can't stand women/men who snoop through their spouses/partners things. I have no reason to go through my husbands things and he doesn't give me any reason to not trust him. I believe we all deserve some sort of privacy.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MomToovey
by Marianne on Jul. 12, 2012 at 4:27 PM

 I'm nosey. If my DH gets text messages when I'm around, I'm always asking him who it is, and sometimes will peer out of the corner of my eye to see what he's saying back. But it's seriously just curiousity. I'm not snooping. When it all comes down to it, I'm not going to get bent out of shape if he doesn't want to share with me his current text convo with someone else. I DO trust my DH.

I agree that snooping at all is a sign that there's no trust, and I couldn't stay with a man that I don't trust.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)