Answers from women who have been through this

[summerbaby79]

My husband had an affair, a short one but still. It has finally hit me what has happened and now I am having trouble dealing with it even though we have decided to work it out. Women that have decided to work on their marriages, did this happend to you? The shock wore off and then you were like oh crap that SOB, the stress hit, the hurt really hit and then you were undecided on what you really wanted? Did you go through a small depression and pissed off stage? What did you do to work through it?

[HollyHawk333]

It's been three years since my husband cheated. And it does take time. You will go through stages of I hate him, what did I do, and so much more. You have to let yourself deal with it. And I do think it helps to figure out why he cheated. For us, he wasnt ready to be a dad or really committed (we started out as friends w/benefits) so it was his escape in away but theres a lot more there. Also be honest with your husband and be prepared for him to be honest to. Also you both need to understand it is going to take a long time to fix. Even now I still have an issue trusting him every now and then. But at the end of the day I do love him and can't imagine my life without him.

[jeriballinger]

I went to counsiling on my own..... I needed to talk to someone on the outside of the situation. I also needed anti-anxity/depressents..   I was pissed off and moved out for 6 months. we eventualy worked it out but there will be no second chances and he knows this. When I moved out it made me realize that I can make it on my own if need be :)

[MissFefe]

So sorry this is happening to u. There is a book called After The Affair by Janis Spring that's been pretty helpful to me.
Also there is a group on here called Still love him.

[Elbowgrease]

Oh boy...  I am currently going through this too!  It started (as far as I know) 2 years ago.  We have done counseling.  Both parties need to be on board.  Remember YOU CAN'T change him!  I still have no trust and to be honest I am at the end of my rope.  It has happened too many times.  I plan to file for divorce (which breaks my heart) but I need to take care of myself and our daughter.  I know I will be much happier without the constant lies!!!  I am learning I need to take care of myself first.  I still love him, but don't like him?!?!?!  Take care of yourself and I am sorry to hear you are dealing with this.  Remember to keep yourself healthy!!  God Bless...