A little back story. We've been together going on 3 years now. I'm 30w pregnant and we've had a really rough last 8 months. We've been on and off because this pregnancy was unplanned and he had growing up to do. We're currently together, but I'm really not sure what to call him. We were engaged for almost a year before I got pregnant, but that's since been broken off, so I just call him my SO because he doesn't want to be my "boyfriend" and we aren't engaged so... it's confusing to me.
Anyway, lately, he's been on this huge kick and going on and on about leaving the city AND the state. He got robbed recently so he's now flipping out and all of a sudden out (unborn) daughter is unsafe not only in the city, but the entire state.
He's known since we got together in 2009 that I'm very, very close to my family (mom and dad's side and now his family because we've gotten very close over the last 3 years). My mom is honestly my best friend and my dad has several health problems and I don't see him living very long, so naturally, I want to be around them.
The one place he's DEAD set on moving to is his hometown which is 3 hours away from where we are now. His sister lives there and we only see her once a year because it's hard for her to drive that far.
I told him I'm not comfortable with living that far, I'm a young, first time mom and I have tons of family willing to help with the baby as I go back to school and get my degree. It's free daycare and they're all super excited about meeting her. And I'm very excited about having my daughter be as close to her entire family as I am. My mom is in love with this baby and so is my dad, and I don't feel right in my heart taking her away and being away myself!
My dad isn't doing well so I want her around him as much as she can (myself as well).
I told him maybe in the future after I graduate and settle into my career, then maybe we can move an hour away. It would hurt, but I could do it.
That wasn't good enough.
So today, we argued because he told me I don't care about our daughter's safety and I'm being "selfish" because I "want" to live here. I told him he's equally as selfish because he's not only pulling me away from my entire family, but his daughter from her whole family and them from us.
He then drops a bombshell: "So if I want to move to this house I've been looking at in the city 3 hours away you won't go?"
I said no. Honestly, I'm not ready for that and I do not like being that far away from everyone I love. So he said then I guess we're done.
I'm confused and I really don't think I'm doing something wrong. Where we live now we have to pay minimal rent to my mother and we have so much free help with the baby while I go through school. Our jobs are here and he has nothing lined up there. I'm not ready to move now. I have too much going on and I'm stressed as it is.
I don't want it to be over, but I really don't enjoy this ultimatum being put on me! It's unfair.