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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Does having choice mean we shouldn't care?

Posted by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 11:17 PM
  • 31 Replies

There have been a number of pretty standard debates about abortion lately.  Although there are a few moderates, most people are totally against abortion or think that it shouldn't matter at all how many, how far along, or why.  It's your choice, and therefore, whatever your reason it's fine.

I am prochoice, but I do have concerns about the number of abortions that are performed in this country, sometimes the timing, and also the risks to women, as well as the loss of life or potential life (depending upon how one views the situation).  The statistics I read stated that over 80% of abortions performed in the U.S. are performed for women who say they did not use birth control at all, or used it inconsistently or incorrectly. 

Let me be clear:  I am NOT judging anybody!!!  I don't think anyone is a terrible person for having an abortion.  I feel the guilt and shame carried by some women is awful, and don't want them to suffer.  I am just wondering how people feel about the idea of how responsiblity and concern relate to our right to choose.


by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 11:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sarcasimom
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:05 AM

I believe it's a woman's right to choose. If she decides to have abortion after abortion and run the risk of hurting her body because of it, that's on her.

I assume they tell you the risks of abortions. So you know what to expect when you get one or multiple abortions.

I personally could not live with that decision. I however, don't think anyone should tell anyone else that they can't do something with their body. 

nicole2884
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 12:08 PM

im prochoice as well i think its up to the woman, i do not judge one way or the other i have friends who have had them. i understood why they choose that for themselves.

personally for myself i dont think i could do it

jenn75
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 12:33 PM
2 moms liked this
If you (general) are really worried about the number of abortions performed in this country. Try looking at WHY so many are preformed, not just the fact that they are done. Yes, that person might not have used BC, but look at WHY they didn't.

No one wants to have an abortion, as a life goal. For them to be done means that their is no other choice for that person.
Not everyone is ashamed they've had an abortion, some feel it was the right choice for them at that time. No guilt to be had.
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beeky
by Alexandra on Jul. 21, 2012 at 12:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I am pro-choice.  I believe that sex education and affordable contraception are the best ways of reducing abortion rates.

Allebas
by Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:46 PM

I personally know that each time you have sex, there is a chance I "MIGHT" get pregnant. I know I could not live with myself if I got pregnant and decided I wanted an abortion. It isn't the babies fault I got pregnant, so why punish the baby? And yes--I have been in a situation where my last pregnancy could have killed me and my baby could have been born dead!! I told my OB/GYN that I would take the risks and continue my pregnancy period! Nothing that could have gone wrong ever did! My DD and I are both fine!! When DD was 5 1/2 months old, DH went in and got a vasectomy, so no more worries about getting pregnant!

I know someone who knows a lady whose had 9 abortions!! This lady cannot take birth control hormones, she doesn't like the 'feel' of condoms, she's allergic to spermacides (so she claims), and she has admitted that she uses abortion as her 'birth control!!' IMO, that is very selfish and sad!!

ShannaBee
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 5:44 PM

I do not like abortion but I think the option should be availble for women. I do not think a woman's reproductive rights should be controlled.

DarlaHood
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 6:26 PM

That's a given, and it was stated as the premise of my original post.  What I'm asking is, what responsibilities and concerns come with the options and choices?

Quoting ShannaBee:

I do not like abortion but I think the option should be availble for women. I do not think a woman's reproductive rights should be controlled.


jenn75
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 7:51 PM
Youre right, It isn't the "baby's" ( at the time it is aborted it can hardly be called a baby)fault but you should never judge someone for doing what is best for them at that time.
Im glad nothing horrible happened to you with your last pregnancy but who's to say that it couldn't have ended another way.

You said your husband had a vasectomy but why didn't you have yourself fixed? Not to be rude but not all marriages last. You are the one that has the difficulty not him. We as women need to take charge of our bodies but also except the responsibilities of them.



Quoting Allebas:

I personally know that each time you have sex, there is a chance I "MIGHT" get pregnant. I know I could not live with myself if I got pregnant and decided I wanted an abortion. It isn't the babies fault I got pregnant, so why punish the baby? And yes--I have been in a situation where my last pregnancy could have killed me and my baby could have been born dead!! I told my OB/GYN that I would take the risks and continue my pregnancy period! Nothing that could have gone wrong ever did! My DD and I are both fine!! When DD was 5 1/2 months old, DH went in and got a vasectomy, so no more worries about getting pregnant!


I know someone who knows a lady whose had 9 abortions!! This lady cannot take birth control hormones, she doesn't like the 'feel' of condoms, she's allergic to spermacides (so she claims), and she has admitted that she uses abortion as her 'birth control!!' IMO, that is very selfish and sad!!



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Allebas
by Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 8:20 PM

I chose NOT to have my tubes tied, as there is a REAL condition known as post tubal ligation syndrome! I know quite a few women who have the condition! All of these women have told me that they had no problems with their female anatomy until after they got their tubes tied. My BFF who has PTLS-her Dr. told her he KNOWS she has PTLS!! He said that he sees no fewer than 20 women per month who have PTLS! I have the 'difficulty' not him? OK! Whatever!! We are happily married and will be celebrating 20 years of marriage in November. We are not going to be getting a divorce--I can assure you of that!! Not everyone is as narrow-minded as you!! In my eyes, at the moment of conception it is a baby!! I don't give a crap what any one else believes!! That is MY belief!! Good day!!

Quoting jenn75:

Youre right, It isn't the "baby's" ( at the time it is aborted it can hardly be called a baby)fault but you should never judge someone for doing what is best for them at that time.
Im glad nothing horrible happened to you with your last pregnancy but who's to say that it couldn't have ended another way.

You said your husband had a vasectomy but why didn't you have yourself fixed? Not to be rude but not all marriages last. You are the one that has the difficulty not him. We as women need to take charge of our bodies but also except the responsibilities of them.



Quoting Allebas:

I personally know that each time you have sex, there is a chance I "MIGHT" get pregnant. I know I could not live with myself if I got pregnant and decided I wanted an abortion. It isn't the babies fault I got pregnant, so why punish the baby? And yes--I have been in a situation where my last pregnancy could have killed me and my baby could have been born dead!! I told my OB/GYN that I would take the risks and continue my pregnancy period! Nothing that could have gone wrong ever did! My DD and I are both fine!! When DD was 5 1/2 months old, DH went in and got a vasectomy, so no more worries about getting pregnant!


I know someone who knows a lady whose had 9 abortions!! This lady cannot take birth control hormones, she doesn't like the 'feel' of condoms, she's allergic to spermacides (so she claims), and she has admitted that she uses abortion as her 'birth control!!' IMO, that is very selfish and sad!!




jenn75
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 8:41 PM
Ok, calm down. This is called a debate. It happens between adults.

I know all about PTLS... I have it.

I also had a difficult pregnancy. Although at the time neither my doctors or I knew how bad it was. I flatlined after delivery. I woke up in ICU. My baby was discharged from the hospital before I was. As soon as I was medically released to do so I had my tubes tied.
Like I said, I'm glad it turned out well for you but I couldn't bring myself to take a chance of making my husband a widow or leaving my children motherless.
Please google PPCM or go to amothersheart.org
I was one of the lucky ones.

I have been married for 19 years.

I am not "closed minded". I don't judge others for making decisions that don't effect me.

If you believe a baby begins at conception, that's fine, I do not.

Quoting Allebas:

I chose NOT to have my tubes tied, as there is a REAL condition known as post tubal ligation syndrome! I know quite a few women who have the condition! All of these women have told me that they had no problems with their female anatomy until after they got their tubes tied. My BFF who has PTLS-her Dr. told her he KNOWS she has PTLS!! He said that he sees no fewer than 20 women per month who have PTLS! I have the 'difficulty' not him? OK! Whatever!! We are happily married and will be celebrating 20 years of marriage in November. We are not going to be getting a divorce--I can assure you of that!! Not everyone is as narrow-minded as you!! In my eyes, at the moment of conception it is a baby!! I don't give a crap what any one else believes!! That is MY belief!! Good day!!


Quoting jenn75:

Youre right, It isn't the "baby's" ( at the time it is aborted it can hardly be called a baby)fault but you should never judge someone for doing what is best for them at that time.
Im glad nothing horrible happened to you with your last pregnancy but who's to say that it couldn't have ended another way.

You said your husband had a vasectomy but why didn't you have yourself fixed? Not to be rude but not all marriages last. You are the one that has the difficulty not him. We as women need to take charge of our bodies but also except the responsibilities of them.




Quoting Allebas:


I personally know that each time you have sex, there is a chance I "MIGHT" get pregnant. I know I could not live with myself if I got pregnant and decided I wanted an abortion. It isn't the babies fault I got pregnant, so why punish the baby? And yes--I have been in a situation where my last pregnancy could have killed me and my baby could have been born dead!! I told my OB/GYN that I would take the risks and continue my pregnancy period! Nothing that could have gone wrong ever did! My DD and I are both fine!! When DD was 5 1/2 months old, DH went in and got a vasectomy, so no more worries about getting pregnant!



I know someone who knows a lady whose had 9 abortions!! This lady cannot take birth control hormones, she doesn't like the 'feel' of condoms, she's allergic to spermacides (so she claims), and she has admitted that she uses abortion as her 'birth control!!' IMO, that is very selfish and sad!!







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