Would this behavior make you wonder about your marriage?

[Breastfeedermom]

Yesterday my husband and I got into it. He was upset about his sister who died 4 years ago of a brain tumor and I did not give him much sympathy. I did not say, oh I am sorry honey or anything because he is so unsympathetic w/ me. I was sick for like 3 months w/ shingles, GI flu w/ my kids and an asthma flare up.He says when I complain about things that I am just bitching. He works very long hours and I am w/my sons all the time. We don't give eachother sympathy because we don't get it from the other person. Well, he gives me the finger in front of our kids and I say i don't want to be intimate w/ him because he acts like that, and he says he can have sex w/other people. Things just seem to be getting worse and worse. I think I need to look for a job and daycare and start socking away money. I need advice, I feel like this marriage is peeling away at me as a person where I have nothing left of me. Any advice appreciated. K in motown

[biancalina20]

From what you say, I see there is no respect towards each other. I would either try sitting down and talk to him about it or if not marriage counseling. Good luck, hope things get better!

[98765]

Swallow your pride and start showing some sympatjy. You get what you give, generally. He lost his sister. What you were goong through doesnt compare. Sorry.

[AnotherPutra]

Try the love dare. It'll teach you a lot, and if he notices the change in you, he may start treating you better. Distancing yourself for a little while may be good, to "calm the waters" but there is a lot of hurt that needs to be healed. It sounds to me like a lack of respect on BOTH sides of the marriage. 

[PerfectVirgo]

So sorry to hear that. Sounds like a real winner, that one. If neither of you want to be near the other, I'd leave. I've done it. Left my ex when I had no job, no where to go, no vehicle. I know all the tricks to making it on your own. Also in Motown, pm me if you need to talk....

[MalibuMommy]

I agree with the other posters. It's lack of respect. And you should definitely swallow your pride.

[Lindalou907]

I would attack this problem on all fronts,you need to fight for your marriage AND start socking away money,you can always spend it on something else,go to couples counseling,if he won't go then you go anyway,learn how to fight fair.  Apologize for not being sympathetic,and ask for comfort when you need it.Do it for your children,divorce should be a last resort.

[dingysfamily]

 I have to agree with this, at least as a starting point.  People do get what they give for the most part.  And you have to start somewhere, so why not start with you making the first move and showing some sympathy first.  Did it ever occur to you that just maybe if you made the first move, he might follow?  Also counseling is a very good idea.

Quoting 98765:

Swallow your pride and start showing some sympatjy. You get what you give, generally. He lost his sister. What you were goong through doesnt compare. Sorry.

 

[Bradya]

sounds like you have a plan and know what to do

[LyTe684]

Sounds like you both are being immature. Be adults. Talk to each other and start showing some compassion or kiss your marriage goodbye.

[jonnlilithsmom]

I suggest marriage counceling AND getting yourself in a position to be on your own, just in case