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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Dear Christian Women and Ladies

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 1:04 PM
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4 moms liked this

This letter is intended for Christian women and ladies. I do NOT expect a non-Christian to follow these rules and guidelines. If you are a non-Christian you can feel free to continue reading and maybe even respect my plea, but I in now way expect it of you. 


Dear Christian Women and Ladies, 


I write this letter to you as a plea and as a lesson. Let me start with the plea. 


My husband, like so so many other men, has a constant struggle with lust. Do not be fooled, even the most godly men can struggle with this sin. We all struggle with sin.Romans 3:23 states, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." I believe that while we all sin and all sin is equal, I believe that we each may have certain sins we struggle with more. In our society sex and lust are all around. There are billboards, book, music, pictures, pornography, women, but it is a very sad thing when it can be found among Christians. Please, as a sister, a Christian, a woman, and a friend do not dress provocatively. Not only does it directly affect my relationship with my husband but it directly affects his walk with God. On the day of judgement we will each be held accountable for our actions. It is his choice to turn to God and to not give in to lust. In the same way, God tells us to not lead each other to sin, but to carry each other's burdens. Matthew 18:6-9, “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell." Would you take a six pack to an AA meeting? 


I know that the majority of times we are not even considering the ramifications on others. I don't think that many women dress provocatively in order to harm men. I think they dress that way in order to get attention and affection, but sadly the attention they receive is lust itself.It may sound cliche but beauty is not about the appearance. What men really want in a wife and a spouse is more focused on someone that respects, challenges, and loves him. Society wants us to believe that men only want and need a sexual being. Sex is an important and wonderful gift that God created for marriage. 


Show your brothers-in-Christ love by protecting their eyes. 1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." Carry their burden and keep them in prayer. Our society has set up a battlefield for them. They are constantly being bombarded by these bombs and attacks. The church and in fellowship with other Christians should be a place of safety. 


Also in dressing modestly, you can respect yourself and honor God. We are to honor and glorify God in all we do. 1 Corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do [dressing], do it all for the glory of God." 


When I was in junior high, my youth pastors wife sat all the girls down. She made her plea for us to not lead her husband and the boys into sin. What she said had a lasting impact on me, and yet I had no idea that about fifteen years later I would be making the same plea. 


Thank you for you prayers and support. 


God Bless,
Faith


If you feel lead to, feel free to pass this letter on to anyone you know that needs to hear it. 

by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 1:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
RheaF
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 1:32 PM
1 mom liked this

 I agree. It's funny you posted this, a friend of mine and I were talking about this the other day.

abigailesmommy
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 1:34 PM


Quoting RheaF:

 I agree. It's funny you posted this, a friend of mine and I were talking about this the other day.

I  think it is great that we are talking about it. I want to share it with my daughters as they get older.  

EmmaZate
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 1:42 PM
11 moms liked this
Uhh.... Dressing a certain way does not lead men astray. Men lead men astray. I do not dress provocatively, but I do not agree with this either. Yes I am a Christian, but I know that I cannot change how people Choose. To dress.

That being said, if you find your husband cheating, don't blame it on a woman, she may not have known he was married, blame it on HIM. He chose to sin, she did not force him. Just as Adam chose to eat the forbidden fruit. Eve did not shove it down his throat. Both of them were thrown from Eden.
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Apple1
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 1:42 PM

 

Lust is something that is happening in so many lives and marriages, just in every day to day lives...and it can be very destructive.  God doesn't want us to be lustful, to lust after others etc...it is a sin, and not many want to except that it is...like it says above, men don't just want sex, they want a partner, a best friend, someone who understands them emotionally...a real bond goes beyond a physical one and has so much more depth and understanding...thanks for sharing and posting~!!

RheaF
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:05 PM

 

Quoting abigailesmommy:


Quoting RheaF:

 I agree. It's funny you posted this, a friend of mine and I were talking about this the other day.

I  think it is great that we are talking about it. I want to share it with my daughters as they get older.  

 So do I.

I fully understand that Men are NOT excused in their lustful behavior(for those who engauge in lustful behavior that is). I also know I cannot control anyone, Man or Woman. I can however,control myself and what I choose to wear, and how I present myself. I want to look and sexy for my Husband and that's it. I do not need to look sexy for anyone else, and I feel I am called to be modest when it comes to the world. I can't think of the scripture off the top of my head, but the Bible does address modesty, and how as women, we are not to lead Men astray. We are not to dress in a way that we know is going to make it harder for them to turn their heads(and Men for that matter when it comes to tempting women). We are not to be tempters. We believe in modesty. That doesn't mean I dress like a Nun, or a 5 year old, lol. You can look decent, modern, and modest.

beeky
by Alexandra on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:14 PM
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You sound a lot like this man and that scares the hell out of me!

By Terry Davidson, Toronto Sun – “Canadian laws should be changed to require women to ‘cover themselves’ to prevent sexual assaults, says an Islamic street preacher in Toronto.

Al-Haashim Kamena Atangana, a 33-year-old Islamic convert, called for legal change in response to recent sex attacks at York University.

Atangana is connected with a group called Muslim Support Network and is one of a number of street-corner clerics commonly seen at the Yonge and Dundas Sts.

In an e-mail to the Toronto Sun, Atangana said ‘the reason … these sex attacks are continuously happening is because (of) Canadian laws, which give too much freedom to women’ when it comes to how they dress.

‘You should take your example from the way Muslim women dress,’ he wrote. ‘Why does (sic) Muslim women who wear long dress and covers her head aren’t targeted for sex attacks?’

The clash between western culture and values and the beliefs of some Muslim adherents has been a source of controversy and conflict across North America.

Atangana, who plans to distribute his views on paper in the coming weeks, went on to state that ‘the reason … a woman gets raped is because of the way she (dresses),’ and suggests that ‘Toronto (become) the first city in North America to introduce laws that would make it illegal for women to dress provocatively.’

http://midnightwatcher.wordpress.com/2012/07/17/canada-muslim-cleric-wants-to-force-all-women-in-toronto-to-wear-burkas-head-scarves-and-face-veils/

rmgriffberg
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:21 PM

 i agree with you! thank you for posting this. i dont dress provocatively but since taking the pre-wed class i did with my pastor and dh i understand this subject more.

IQuitCounting
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Summer is coming to a close... I guess I should just embrace fall... pulling out my scarves.
Yesterday at 12:01 PM
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:24 PM
3 moms liked this

By blaming sexual assaults and sexual misconduct on the woman because of the way she dresses is putting our value as women square between our legs and devalues us as a whole.  If he can't keep it in his pants because some woman wears a tight skirt he's not worth a real woman's time and energy.

abigailesmommy
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:25 PM

Were you responding to the reply or to my post? I didn't say anything about sexual assults and am in now way blaming the victims of assults. 

Quoting IQuitCounting:

By blaming sexual assaults and sexual misconduct on the woman because of the way she dresses is putting our value as women square between our legs and devalues us as a whole.  If he can't keep it in his pants because some woman wears a tight skirt he's not worth a real woman's time and energy.


IQuitCounting
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Summer is coming to a close... I guess I should just embrace fall... pulling out my scarves.
Yesterday at 12:01 PM
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:36 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry, it was an over-all reply to OP and following replies.  The point is still the fact that in saying "help our men behave themselves by dressing modestly" puts a huge value on our sexuality (which in turn, as history has told, takes it away from other areas of our personalities) and implies that men's misconduct (any inappropriate sexual act, including but not limited to cheating or assault) in that area isn't their fault but rather that of the scantily clad women tempting them.  Men need to learn to control themselves and take FULL responsibility for their own actions.

There are many cultures whose women walk around half-naked and their rates of misconduct are no worse than ours.  In fact, you find it less often in those cultures.  You find the highest rates of sexual misconduct (again, anything from cheating to rape) in cultures and societies that require or encourage their women to "cover up."

Quoting abigailesmommy:

Were you responding to the reply or to my post? I didn't say anything about sexual assults and am in now way blaming the victims of assults. 

Quoting IQuitCounting:

By blaming sexual assaults and sexual misconduct on the woman because of the way she dresses is putting our value as women square between our legs and devalues us as a whole.  If he can't keep it in his pants because some woman wears a tight skirt he's not worth a real woman's time and energy.



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