Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

I feel like a failure as a mother. :(

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:21 PM
  • 21 Replies
My daughter will be 7 Aug 16 and she has turned into quite a "monster". She talks back, says hurtful things and is extremely rough and mean to her baby brother (1 Sept 26).
Here's what happened today...
We were having a great morning until I heard Markus getting really upset. I walk in to find her using her whole body to hold him down to the ground. I told her to stop, grabbed him and told her to turn her tv off. She said, "NO!". So I turned it off and she turned it back on. I turned it off and told her she was to stay in her room, on her bed until Im ready for her to come out. She starts screaming things like, "You're not my real mom!", "I hate you!" and "I want to punch you in your face!". I honestly am at a loss. Every single day things like this happen. I just don't know what to do but Im feeling like a failure as a mother anymore. I don't know where I went wrong. Im at a loss...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:21 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
starreyedcutie
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:45 PM
Sounds like jealousy of the baby...to be honest
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
starreyedcutie
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:46 PM
She's crying out for attention...you need to make time for just you and her and really talk.about how she feels
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mistygirl
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:48 PM

your not a failure, sounds like your little girl is having some jealousy issues with the baby, what she is doing is not ok. You shoud talk with your pediatrician about possibly seeking guidance from a behavioral therapist to address these issues. Hang in there.


Khis_Ma
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:50 PM
1 mom liked this
Where does she get her attitude from? Does she hear some one else acting this way, also is she only like that when it comes to get brother or for anything you tell her... If it is only for her brother have mommy n daughter day once a week, if not talk to her ad calmly as you can and express to her that she's hurting you and that's not ok, she will have her toys taken or tv show cancelled... But always explain why she is punished and y its not ok to speak the way she does...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
HopefulMommy89
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:52 PM
Is she adopted or a stepdaughter? Why would she say that you're "not her real mom"? I agree with what was said above; it does sound like jealousy/competing for attention issues. Can you call a therapist for guidance? You're not a failure. Hang in there; it's a phase and this too shall pass. (((hugs)))
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
CrazyLife1996
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:55 PM
I completely agree. I would make it a point to have moommy/daughter time.

Her behavior isn't OK so you do need to set ground rules and punishment.

Talk to her and remind her how important she is and how much you love her.


Quoting starreyedcutie:

Sounds like jealousy of the baby...to be honest

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SuperMom2433
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:55 PM
Its happened when brother isn't around. I have tried telling her over and over again that the things she say do hurt even if she doesn't mean them. I have explained to her that she could really hurt her brother by doing things like that to him. I have tried sitting down and talking with her calmly, asking her if she has anything to get out. I explain to her that it's really good for her mind and body to vent. I just don't know what to do anymore. Im just so upset because I feel like I've let her down somewhere along the line. I feel so terrible and don't know what the next step should be.


Quoting Khis_Ma:

Where does she get her attitude from? Does she hear some one else acting this way, also is she only like that when it comes to get brother or for anything you tell her... If it is only for her brother have mommy n daughter day once a week, if not talk to her ad calmly as you can and express to her that she's hurting you and that's not ok, she will have her toys taken or tv show cancelled... But always explain why she is punished and y its not ok to speak the way she does...

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SuperMom2433
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:57 PM
Im def her real mommy. I have no idea where she came up with that one.


Quoting HopefulMommy89:

Is she adopted or a stepdaughter? Why would she say that you're "not her real mom"? I agree with what was said above; it does sound like jealousy/competing for attention issues. Can you call a therapist for guidance? You're not a failure. Hang in there; it's a phase and this too shall pass. (((hugs)))

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SuperMom2433
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:59 PM
See its kind of hard to get just mommy/daughter time unless Markus is sleeping. We will play cards, snuggle, color, ECT when he is napping. I think Im going to try to make sure I tell her even more how much she means to me and how much I love her. Maybe I don't do or say it as much as I should. I just need to pay attention to how much I say and di these things and do it more often.


Quoting CrazyLife1996:

I completely agree. I would make it a point to have moommy/daughter time.



Her behavior isn't OK so you do need to set ground rules and punishment.



Talk to her and remind her how important she is and how much you love her.




Quoting starreyedcutie:

Sounds like jealousy of the baby...to be honest


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
HopefulMommy89
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Maybe she's got friends whose parents are divorced or something who she's heard them say stuff like that to stepparents then? Or something she maybe saw on tv?

Quoting SuperMom2433:

Im def her real mommy. I have no idea where she came up with that one.




Quoting HopefulMommy89:

Is she adopted or a stepdaughter? Why would she say that you're "not her real mom"? I agree with what was said above; it does sound like jealousy/competing for attention issues. Can you call a therapist for guidance? You're not a failure. Hang in there; it's a phase and this too shall pass. (((hugs)))

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN