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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Is it appropriate for.......????

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Question: Is this appropriate?

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Total Votes: 39

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For an ex wife to remain friends with her ex husbands family and friends; after the divorce??

*Background: She cheated, lied and kept everything they built up while married. He'd had enough, filed for divorce and moved out. They have no children together, she bought the house in her name cause she knew she was gonna leave him or get caught with her pants down. No cars in names, minor bills to split. Fairly easy divorce. We met a month before his divorce was final (although I still lived in a different state), I morally didnt allow anything other then friendship until the divorce was final - I wanted to respect the situation as much as possible. Well that and make sure he wasnt lying or BSing me.

Currently - I made the move to Colorado to be with him and start a career here, with my children. Things are great, I love working, I love my boys they ae so happy here, my fiancee and I are doing great together and life is very good for us. Except - His ex wife is everywhere! Grocery store, birthday parties, shows up at his work, I see her at the laundromat. For being so sure she wanted to be "rid" of him, she sure isnt going away.

My issue is that she is impacting my impression on his family, I met them and they shunned me for the first few months and remained talking to her. Although they complain and bitch that she made away like a gold diggging bandit from the marriage. His friends of over 20 years, have disowned my presence and wont even get to know me because they choose to be friends with her. I cant ask my honey to walk away from friends or family, Im not that girl. But I dont think I should have to sit here and pick out wedding dresses, alone, feel second best or like a fill-in. I know he loves me and we are meant to be, he hates whats going on too. But we are at a loss for what to do. She should have some respect and do what is appropriate and that is start her own life after a divorce. Not linger on knowing that she is making my life hell. Personally at times it feels like she is trying to sabotage our relationship, thinking I will just give up and say screw this and she can swoop in and console him, bewitching him back. Shes like a voodoo queen. No drama, Im just saying who disrespects themselves enough to hang around and look like a fool?

I could use some advice - Really....

Ally Belle

by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 1:33 PM
Replies (11-12):
AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:53 PM

Honestly, IMO your fiance needs to stand up for you to his family.  She cheated on him for goodness sakes.  His family should be up in arms about that, not welcoming her with open arms still.  His family should be there for him, not her.  And he needs to stand up for BOTH of you on that note.

He also needs to stand up for you where his friends are concerned.  If they choose to remain friends with her, even though she wronged him, then he needs to choose a better set of friends.

I say keep on with your relationship and build on the love that you guys have. Everything else will fall into place eventually hun.  (hugs)

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Aug. 1, 2012 at 12:25 AM

 

Quoting liz.1986:

I agree with this.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

I believe its ok to be friends. More like the  kind you say hello to in passing. Still be invited to Christmas dinner or Thanksgiving NO. I think his family is more in the wrong than her.They are the ones not coming around as far as accepting you and your sons. I think you SO need to have a talk with his family asking them to accept you and letting them know how much they are hurting him by not doing so.

 

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