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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Tossed my wedding ring at him...not sure what to do anymore

Posted by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 7:43 PM
  • 13 Replies

   There are things that need working on, there are things that work well. I know that is what life is/ I know that is what a marriage is, not everything is perfect. Work on what needs working on. But how many times can on put up with the same ole issues.
     My big thing is this. I feel as if I dont really have a ife outside of my home with my children. I lost my job in the begining of  2006 due to my disability. So I am always home with kids, I love my boys, but i could use some adult conversations at time. I dont have to talk about other the kids, or what i read on line, nespaper or what i saw on TV. Granted its not much. but its all i got. Now my husband works, he is not the very "talk to everyone'' person.  They are a very small crew he talks bout how day went, who said what, who did what. Its good to hear. Itried talking bout something  read, and ok i get that what i read is not something that affects us.But when im stuck at home all day, its all i got.  Well last he sort of brushed me off, and just now he said, " Who cares, I dont care about it, it dosent affect m. I dont care what they think or believe in." I responded with," What the hell else do i have in my life to talk about, when i try and talk about other things, its almost like he dont care to hear me, regardless of what im saying.
    This is not anywhere near the first time its like this, but it is really starting to hurt. I know what i bring up is of little importance to us, but again, what else do i have.         i walked away to my bedroom, turned around and with tears in my eyes, tossed him my wedding ring and told him, " when i matter, you can give the ring back, if you want to.  Not sure where it stands, im almost not sure if it matters.

    thank you for letting me vent

by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 7:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ProudMommy51006
by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 7:49 PM
Awww, maybe start taking the kids out of the home to meet some friends. My mom always says, men could really care less, this is why we have sisters and moms and girlfriends to talk to. My mom is the only other women I have to talk to, but it sure feels nice talking to her... Maybe take them to the park, or mall or moms groups.
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loveingmybabies
by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 7:54 PM


Quoting ProudMommy51006:

Awww, maybe start taking the kids out of the home to meet some friends. My mom always says, men could really care less, this is why we have sisters and moms and girlfriends to talk to. My mom is the only other women I have to talk to, but it sure feels nice talking to her... Maybe take them to the park, or mall or moms grou t

 i try to take them when possible. But due to my illness, sometimes its just not possible. I dont talk to my mom or sis about this caus, well for starters my sis is only 18, not something she woud understand completly, and my mom has health problems, last thing i wanna do to her is worry her.

ConnorMom228
by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 7:57 PM
I think you both need to communicate better with each other. I understand you were upset, but throwing your ring at him was the wrong thing to do. You're not telling him HE doesn't care, you're telling him YOU don't care enough to wear it through the hard times.

Maybe counseling or some time alone together would help. Perhaps a day-cation to escape life for a while.
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ProudMommy51006
by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 8:20 PM
You kind of sound similar to me, my disability hinders my making (or keeping) friends as well. My mom has mental illnesses so she isn't always avail and I get into slumps where I feel just like you are feeling. Sometimes a good cry feels better, and just talk to your dh. I' sorry about your mom... I'm sure she would feel awful though, knowing you need to talk and feel like it would be upsetting her so you don't talk. I don't know what health problems she has, but maybe ever now and then, just call her to talk... Maybe not about any issues, but about the articles you read, etc. Otherwise, the only advice I have is to just work on your communication. ((hugs))

Quoting loveingmybabies:



Quoting ProudMommy51006:

Awww, maybe start taking the kids out of the home to meet some friends. My mom always says, men could really care less, this is why we have sisters and moms and girlfriends to talk to. My mom is the only other women I have to talk to, but it sure feels nice talking to her... Maybe take them to the park, or mall or moms grou t

 i try to take them when possible. But due to my illness, sometimes its just not possible. I dont talk to my mom or sis about this caus, well for starters my sis is only 18, not something she woud understand completly, and my mom has health problems, last thing i wanna do to her is worry her.

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loveingmybabies
by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 8:29 PM


Quoting ConnorMom228:

I think you both need to communicate better with each other. I understand you were upset, but throwing your ring at him was the wrong thing to do. You're not telling him HE doesn't care, you're telling him YOU don't care enough to wear it through the hard times.

Maybe counseling or some time alone together would help. Perhaps a day-cation to escape life for a while.


 he know that tossing my ring at him means i dont know how much more i can put up with. There is so much more to this then what i mentioned. I have told him many times how i feel. I have been through the extreme hard times with him, i have done for him things that his own wont do. I hae supported him when others wont.  i feel as if i have delt with things,from his past, that i shouldnt have to. But as his wife, i accept it. But for him to do this so much to me, makes me wonder... is it love that holds us, or just the fact that he knows that after so many years, so many problems, some major problems, Im still here, im still going above and beyond what my job as a wife calls for. I know that without the whole story, there is not a clear picture.    and im sorry, but i cant go that far on here...guess my post was more to get it off my shoulders... sometimes it helps to say it to a stranger

loveingmybabies
by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 8:34 PM

   thank yousmile mini

Quoting ProudMommy51006:

You kind of sound similar to me, my disability hinders my making (or keeping) friends as well. My mom has mental illnesses so she isn't always avail and I get into slumps where I feel just like you are feeling. Sometimes a good cry feels better, and just talk to your dh. I' sorry about your mom... I'm sure she would feel awful though, knowing you need to talk and feel like it would be upsetting her so you don't talk. I don't know what health problems she has, but maybe ever now and then, just call her to talk... Maybe not about any issues, but about the articles you read, etc. Otherwise, the only advice I have is to just work on your communication. ((hugs))

Quoting loveingmybabies:

 


Quoting ProudMommy51006:

Awww, maybe start taking the kids out of the home to meet some friends. My mom always says, men could really care less, this is why we have sisters and moms and girlfriends to talk to. My mom is the only other women I have to talk to, but it sure feels nice talking to her... Maybe take them to the park, or mall or moms grou t

 i try to take them when possible. But due to my illness, sometimes its just not possible. I dont talk to my mom or sis about this caus, well for starters my sis is only 18, not something she woud understand completly, and my mom has health problems, last thing i wanna do to her is worry her.


mirandapanda
by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 8:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I feel the same way u do right now. I went to the hospital last monday and was diagnosed with gallstones.They have yet to take them out and i am in so much pain it is un real. Yesterday i puked and puked and puked everything i ate up. I had him take me to the er and my mom keep the kids. He really doesn't seem to care if i get them out or not. he asks me why i am so crabby lately. hello, i have something inside of me that isn't supposed to be there and is killing me!! i asked him how would u feel? he said i guess not very good. sorry u are going through this. here if u need someone to talk to!!
loveingmybabies
by on Sep. 16, 2012 at 7:43 PM

 hi miranda, how are you feeling? I hope your doing better. thank you for offering to be a shoulder for me, means alot to know that there are ppl out there to speak with.....  how are things going with your S/O  ?  Things are doing better on this end, i have noticed that he is listening to me a lilttle better, even though what i have to say has nothing to do with us.  so that makes a differnce for me. there are a few other things we can work on that have really just started to bother me these last few months or so... But baby steps first, we will get there.... sending hugs your way

Quoting mirandapanda:

I feel the same way u do right now. I went to the hospital last monday and was diagnosed with gallstones.They have yet to take them out and i am in so much pain it is un real. Yesterday i puked and puked and puked everything i ate up. I had him take me to the er and my mom keep the kids. He really doesn't seem to care if i get them out or not. he asks me why i am so crabby lately. hello, i have something inside of me that isn't supposed to be there and is killing me!! i asked him how would u feel? he said i guess not very good. sorry u are going through this. here if u need someone to talk to!!


shawn_jax_mom
by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 9:11 PM
I'm sorry girl I know exactly what you are going through. I took my ring off and litterly threw it at his head. Everyone has their ups and Downs but until someone goes through it they don't need to judge. When I took my ring off it wasn't because I didn't care but why would I want to wear a ring someone gave to me that made me feel like I didn't matter. We have worked through our problems but we aren't perfect. Good luck to you
Autiziumom
by Bronze Member on Sep. 18, 2012 at 2:10 AM
Im so sorry! Hope u can work things out!
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