Long story short...my mom was a rape victim and always had me aware of men.I wasn't around my real dad that much so I mostly just learned thing from my mom.anyways I recently stayed with my mom for 21/2 months while my husband was away for training (he is a marine) while I was visiting my daughter(3 years old) said "peanut jelly" but when she first said it,it sounded like "penis daddy"she also said it while drinking out of a sippy cup.so both my mother and I thought that was odd and that's when I started questioning her.Later on that day she said it again when we were making peanut butter jelly sandwiches.So I know that's what she ment.but by that point I already questioned her and talked to my mom about it.I asked my mom if she thought he could do something like that and she said "yes she thinks so because he is a very sexual person" now let me explain...I talk to my mom about everything.and yes my husband likes sex but nothing weird or anything to make me think that of him.anyways when he came home and I was alone with my daughter she told me daddy touched her toot.I was in shock.however I feel that's cause I put that in her head.anyways again long story short...I have been questioning her a lot and she has been saying a lot of weird things that sound sexual now.its caused a lot of problems between my husband and I.just to make sure nothing happend I took my daughter to doctors and I have her in therapy.I even took her to CPS! They all seem to think nothing like that happend to her and that it sounds like I asked her leading questions.so should I just give in and be happy with my husband and our beautiful family we made together? I want to be happy and feel normal.I want my kids safe.if I were to get a divorce with no proof of anything he would get 50% custudy.so that won't help out any! I wouldn't know what was going on at all then! And I would also ruin my marriage if nothing even happend.and FYI I would leave in a heartbeat if I knew this happend.
Fyi... i brought this up to him the other night.when my daughter was about 8 months old i asked him to watch our daughter real fast while i took a shower and later on i saw he was looking at porn while he watched her.he said "she was still young and it wasn't like i was showing it to her." he didn't want to say he was wrong but he did say he never did it again and never would.So these are the things i feel are odd.But like i said she was 8 months old and thats the only time i ever caught him at that.
If it was legit, good for you for protecting your dd, but you and your mom created a big, horrible issue.
Quoting ProudMommy51006:
Wow, your poor husband! If the Dr and cps and therapist all say nothing happened, it is AWFUL of you to not believe him. That is such a big deal. I think your mom has warped you. I think you need counseling. I don't know if you can ever trust a man at this rate, and your mom needs to be out of your sexual life and your husbands business.
If it was legit, good for you for protecting your dd, but you and your mom created a big, horrible issue.
My children come first.no matter what! keep in mind anyone could be a child molester and 90%of them are close to your children.i didn't know my husband long at all before i got pregnant.then he left for Iraq during our daughters first year.I have seen things that seem weird with my husband but i explained everything to the doctors and cps and they didn't think much of it.I do feel i am seeing things that aren't there and i am overreacting.but there my kids! I do feel like a horrible person if he has never and would never do something so awful.but i cant really help these feeling because of how i was raised.
Quoting ProudMommy51006:
Wow, your poor husband! If the Dr and cps and therapist all say nothing happened, it is AWFUL of you to not believe him. That is such a big deal. I think your mom has warped you. I think you need counseling. I don't know if you can ever trust a man at this rate, and your mom needs to be out of your sexual life and your husbands business.
If it was legit, good for you for protecting your dd, but you and your mom created a big, horrible issue.
I know that.and i am going to get counseling.i just cant get rid of the "what if?" feeling.I also don't want to put my daughter threw the same thing i went through so i have stopped questioning.especially since everyone is saying they don't think much of it.
Quoting unsuspected:
Sounds like you are hypersensitive and you put ideas in your daighter's head, much like your mom did to you.
Quoting luvnmykids1824:My children come first.no matter what! keep in mind anyone could be a child molester and 90%of them are close to your children.i didn't know my husband long at all before i got pregnant.then he left for Iraq during our daughters first year.I have seen things that seem weird with my husband but i explained everything to the doctors and cps and they didn't think much of it.I do feel i am seeing things that aren't there and i am overreacting.but there my kids! I do feel like a horrible person if he has never and would never do something so awful.but i cant really help these feeling because of how i was raised.
Quoting ProudMommy51006:
Wow, your poor husband! If the Dr and cps and therapist all say nothing happened, it is AWFUL of you to not believe him. That is such a big deal. I think your mom has warped you. I think you need counseling. I don't know if you can ever trust a man at this rate, and your mom needs to be out of your sexual life and your husbands business.
If it was legit, good for you for protecting your dd, but you and your mom created a big, horrible issue.
Stop blaming it on how you were raised. You are now an adult and must live in reality.
Good for you for looking out for your daughter, shame on you if you put ideas in her head. If she is drinking out of a sippy cup, she is still a toddler and very impressionable. Sometimes their words don't sound like what they mean.
Would you be going over the deep end if she had asked for parmesan cheese when you were having macaroni and cheese for supper. Children repeat what the think they hear even if it isn't exactly correct. How many kids have misspoke the word truck before they could say their "tr"sound and replaced it with an "f". Do you give them time outs for that? No!! You just step over it and move on.
If you were having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and she asked for peanut jelly, no matter what it sounds like or where your brains goes it is an innocent child asking for a sandwich. To read anything more into this is inappropriate.
If the professionals are telling you that what you view as weird is not, then I would give my head a shake and figure out what else is going on with me. C'mon, you knew the answers to this one before you posted.
i know i need counseling and i am looking into it.still what goes through my head is maybe they are wrong.What if something did happen and she has forgot about it by now.
Quoting ProudMommy51006:
I understand that, that's why I said, if it were legit and they found something, then good job protecting your daughter. If I had a suspicion, I would do the same thing, you never know... But they found nothing. And you are still questioning him. That is such a huge accusation. You said you can't help these feelings because of the way you were raised, that's right... It is embedded in you and now you have an irrational fear. That is why I said you need counseling.
Quoting luvnmykids1824:
My children come first.no matter what! keep in mind anyone could be a child molester and 90%of them are close to your children.i didn't know my husband long at all before i got pregnant.then he left for Iraq during our daughters first year.I have seen things that seem weird with my husband but i explained everything to the doctors and cps and they didn't think much of it.I do feel i am seeing things that aren't there and i am overreacting.but there my kids! I do feel like a horrible person if he has never and would never do something so awful.but i cant really help these feeling because of how i was raised.
Quoting ProudMommy51006:
Wow, your poor husband! If the Dr and cps and therapist all say nothing happened, it is AWFUL of you to not believe him. That is such a big deal. I think your mom has warped you. I think you need counseling. I don't know if you can ever trust a man at this rate, and your mom needs to be out of your sexual life and your husbands business.
If it was legit, good for you for protecting your dd, but you and your mom created a big, horrible issue.
What did you get your so/hubby for Father's day?
- luvnmykids1824
on Aug. 2, 2012 at 12:27 PM