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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Im still so upset and hurt.

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I posted last night about hubby getting angry at me because our son has blue eyes and "looks nothing like" hubby.
Here is a baby pic of hubby. Im mobile so Im going to comment with a pic of me as a baby and a pic of Markus. I'll post a recent pic of hubby too. Im so upset about what has been happening lately.
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by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Replies (21-30):
SuperMom2433
by Gold Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:51 PM
I honestly don't know if I can go somewhere else. I don't really have anywhere else to go. If I did, I still don't think I would want to do that. I really think that something else is going on and he's taking it out on me. Not sure what it is. We just bought a trailer and moved in. We don't have cable yet and it get boring here. Things have gotten so much worse since we moved in.


Quoting Momof5kids84:

You shouldn't have to say anything other than that you love him and will always be there for him. Tell him that it's either counseling or your leaving and not coming back until he goes. Leaving does not necessarily mean that you it's over or that you're giving either one of you the right to look elsewhere. It just means that you won't and can't live like that anymore. He is destroying your marriage. Don't let his tears stop you. He needs to hurt and hit rock bottom before he'll commit to counseling. If you leave, make sure that still make yourself available to him whenever he needs you and that you make it a point to call him and answer his calls. This way, he will know that he's not alone, and that you're still committed to him.



Quoting SuperMom2433:

I know he's not guilty of cheating. He's def not cheating. I know he has trust issues but he doesn't want to see a counselor. I wish he would because Im starting to wonder if he's just here because he feels like he has to be. I don't know if he really loves me. Im almost in tears thinking about that. I know Im not perfect but dammit Im a good wife. I know I am. Im just at a loss. Im not happy now but I love him more than life itself. He is my soulmate. He's my best friend. I just don't know what to say anymore.






Quoting Momof5kids84:

Sounds like he has trust issues. To me, cheating when you're dating is wrong, but, really, it's not like you're married. I cheated on my bf of 5 yrs with my now husband. I broke it off with him to be with DH. My DH never brings that up. It's not even an issue. I think that you should seek counseling for his trust issues. No one should have to live this way. Also, do you think that he could be the one cheating and his guilt is killing him?







Quoting SuperMom2433:

No. Im not a cheater. I have been faithful to my husband the whole time we have been together. We have been together for 9 years and married for 7.5 years. He doesn't trust me and I haven't done anything for him to question. Im an honest person and took our vows seriously. He's going off of what happened when we got together. I was with a guy for 1.5 years and met my now hubby a year into my ex relationship. Well, I ended up sleeping with my now hubby and left my ex because I was head over heels in love with my now hubby. So he brings that up saying I did it to my ex what's going to stop me from doing it now? Well, Im married to the lobe of my life and we have two children. Why would I want to cheat and lose everything I have now?










Quoting Momof5kids84:

Cute baby. Genetics are a funny thing. Did you cheat on your hubby or something? I think that it is weird for it to come out of left field.











Our newest edition looks nothing like hubby. He looks exactly like me. Also, my hubby has blue eyes and I have brown eyes, but my





16 month old has hazel/green eyes. Where did that come from? Who knows. He is most definitely my DH's though. He's the only one that I've been with for almost 9 yrs.



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kathyartist2007
by Bronze Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:52 PM

That is really hurtful that he would even say this to you. Hopefully he will not treat his child badly thinking he is not his. Perhaps a paternity test is warrented just to satisfy him. However, if he has these obsessive thoughts, he will most likely continue to accuse you of cheating - even if though it is proven the child is his. 

SuperMom2433
by Gold Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:56 PM
I wish I knew why he has trust issues with me. I haven't done anything. He does pretty well with Markus but def treats our daughter way better. Anytime our son whines or cries, he calls him a pussy and tells him to stop. :'(. Im so sad. He calls him a mommas boy. Well no shit dummy! I stay home with him and he's around me 24/7! Of course hes going to want me to comfort him.


Quoting kathyartist2007:

That is really hurtful that he would even say this to you. Hopefully he will not treat his child badly thinking he is not his. Perhaps a paternity test is warrented just to satisfy him. However, if he has these obsessive thoughts, he will most likely continue to accuse you of cheating - even if though it is proven the child is his. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Momof5kids84
by Lauren on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:57 PM
I wouldn't want to go either, but, honestly, I would go for the sake of my kids if not anything else. They don't deserve to be subjected to your fighting or tension. You have to put them first.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

I honestly don't know if I can go somewhere else. I don't really have anywhere else to go. If I did, I still don't think I would want to do that. I really think that something else is going on and he's taking it out on me. Not sure what it is. We just bought a trailer and moved in. We don't have cable yet and it get boring here. Things have gotten so much worse since we moved in.




Quoting Momof5kids84:

You shouldn't have to say anything other than that you love him and will always be there for him. Tell him that it's either counseling or your leaving and not coming back until he goes. Leaving does not necessarily mean that you it's over or that you're giving either one of you the right to look elsewhere. It just means that you won't and can't live like that anymore. He is destroying your marriage. Don't let his tears stop you. He needs to hurt and hit rock bottom before he'll commit to counseling. If you leave, make sure that still make yourself available to him whenever he needs you and that you make it a point to call him and answer his calls. This way, he will know that he's not alone, and that you're still committed to him.





Quoting SuperMom2433:

I know he's not guilty of cheating. He's def not cheating. I know he has trust issues but he doesn't want to see a counselor. I wish he would because Im starting to wonder if he's just here because he feels like he has to be. I don't know if he really loves me. Im almost in tears thinking about that. I know Im not perfect but dammit Im a good wife. I know I am. Im just at a loss. Im not happy now but I love him more than life itself. He is my soulmate. He's my best friend. I just don't know what to say anymore.








Quoting Momof5kids84:

Sounds like he has trust issues. To me, cheating when you're dating is wrong, but, really, it's not like you're married. I cheated on my bf of 5 yrs with my now husband. I broke it off with him to be with DH. My DH never brings that up. It's not even an issue. I think that you should seek counseling for his trust issues. No one should have to live this way. Also, do you think that he could be the one cheating and his guilt is killing him?









Quoting SuperMom2433:

No. Im not a cheater. I have been faithful to my husband the whole time we have been together. We have been together for 9 years and married for 7.5 years. He doesn't trust me and I haven't done anything for him to question. Im an honest person and took our vows seriously. He's going off of what happened when we got together. I was with a guy for 1.5 years and met my now hubby a year into my ex relationship. Well, I ended up sleeping with my now hubby and left my ex because I was head over heels in love with my now hubby. So he brings that up saying I did it to my ex what's going to stop me from doing it now? Well, Im married to the lobe of my life and we have two children. Why would I want to cheat and lose everything I have now?












Quoting Momof5kids84:

Cute baby. Genetics are a funny thing. Did you cheat on your hubby or something? I think that it is weird for it to come out of left field.













Our newest edition looks nothing like hubby. He looks exactly like me. Also, my hubby has blue eyes and I have brown eyes, but my






16 month old has hazel/green eyes. Where did that come from? Who knows. He is most definitely my DH's though. He's the only one that I've been with for almost 9 yrs.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SuperMom2433
by Gold Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:58 PM
That is very true. Our daughter (7 years old) gets really upset and she's actually treating me really badly and I think it has a lot to do with him.


Quoting Momof5kids84:

I wouldn't want to go either, but, honestly, I would go for the sake of my kids if not anything else. They don't deserve to be subjected to your fighting or tension. You have to put them first.



Quoting SuperMom2433:

I honestly don't know if I can go somewhere else. I don't really have anywhere else to go. If I did, I still don't think I would want to do that. I really think that something else is going on and he's taking it out on me. Not sure what it is. We just bought a trailer and moved in. We don't have cable yet and it get boring here. Things have gotten so much worse since we moved in.






Quoting Momof5kids84:

You shouldn't have to say anything other than that you love him and will always be there for him. Tell him that it's either counseling or your leaving and not coming back until he goes. Leaving does not necessarily mean that you it's over or that you're giving either one of you the right to look elsewhere. It just means that you won't and can't live like that anymore. He is destroying your marriage. Don't let his tears stop you. He needs to hurt and hit rock bottom before he'll commit to counseling. If you leave, make sure that still make yourself available to him whenever he needs you and that you make it a point to call him and answer his calls. This way, he will know that he's not alone, and that you're still committed to him.







Quoting SuperMom2433:

I know he's not guilty of cheating. He's def not cheating. I know he has trust issues but he doesn't want to see a counselor. I wish he would because Im starting to wonder if he's just here because he feels like he has to be. I don't know if he really loves me. Im almost in tears thinking about that. I know Im not perfect but dammit Im a good wife. I know I am. Im just at a loss. Im not happy now but I love him more than life itself. He is my soulmate. He's my best friend. I just don't know what to say anymore.










Quoting Momof5kids84:

Sounds like he has trust issues. To me, cheating when you're dating is wrong, but, really, it's not like you're married. I cheated on my bf of 5 yrs with my now husband. I broke it off with him to be with DH. My DH never brings that up. It's not even an issue. I think that you should seek counseling for his trust issues. No one should have to live this way. Also, do you think that he could be the one cheating and his guilt is killing him?











Quoting SuperMom2433:

No. Im not a cheater. I have been faithful to my husband the whole time we have been together. We have been together for 9 years and married for 7.5 years. He doesn't trust me and I haven't done anything for him to question. Im an honest person and took our vows seriously. He's going off of what happened when we got together. I was with a guy for 1.5 years and met my now hubby a year into my ex relationship. Well, I ended up sleeping with my now hubby and left my ex because I was head over heels in love with my now hubby. So he brings that up saying I did it to my ex what's going to stop me from doing it now? Well, Im married to the lobe of my life and we have two children. Why would I want to cheat and lose everything I have now?














Quoting Momof5kids84:

Cute baby. Genetics are a funny thing. Did you cheat on your hubby or something? I think that it is weird for it to come out of left field.















Our newest edition looks nothing like hubby. He looks exactly like me. Also, my hubby has blue eyes and I have brown eyes, but my







16 month old has hazel/green eyes. Where did that come from? Who knows. He is most definitely my DH's though. He's the only one that I've been with for almost 9 yrs.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Bananas.mommy
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:02 PM
hun,my dd has blue eyes and dh and i have hazel.i know for a fact she is his dd.my mom has blue eyes and thats where she gets it from.so the baby doesnt have to look just like mom or dad.other relatives play a part in looks as well :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kathyartist2007
by Bronze Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:06 PM

It has nothing to do with you. He's got a major problem with his own insecurities and he's taking it out on you. Sounds like obsessive thoughts about the past and he can't see that his thinking is absurd. This type of jealousy will surely destroy your marriage unless he realizes what he is doing and tries to stop it. It seems real to him in his crazy thinking - but it is irrational.

If your son had the same colors eyes as him, he'd find some other feature that looked different. It's in his head.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

I wish I knew why he has trust issues with me. I haven't done anything. He does pretty well with Markus but def treats our daughter way better. Anytime our son whines or cries, he calls him a pussy and tells him to stop. :'(. Im so sad. He calls him a mommas boy. Well no shit dummy! I stay home with him and he's around me 24/7! Of course hes going to want me to comfort him.


Quoting kathyartist2007:

That is really hurtful that he would even say this to you. Hopefully he will not treat his child badly thinking he is not his. Perhaps a paternity test is warrented just to satisfy him. However, if he has these obsessive thoughts, he will most likely continue to accuse you of cheating - even if though it is proven the child is his. 



Momof5kids84
by Lauren on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:15 PM
Sure, it does. My oldest is 7 also. He would definitely have issues with me. Your daughter thinks that you wronged her daddy! Don't think for a second that she doesn't put two and two together either. Him calling your son a pussy is unacceptable. My husband has done that before out of anger, and I always tell him that it is wrong when we are in private. He always goes back and apologizes to him. Your kids need to know that you two are a team and that you will always be there to love and support them. You can't allow him to damage your son.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

That is very true. Our daughter (7 years old) gets really upset and she's actually treating me really badly and I think it has a lot to do with him.




Quoting Momof5kids84:

I wouldn't want to go either, but, honestly, I would go for the sake of my kids if not anything else. They don't deserve to be subjected to your fighting or tension. You have to put them first.





Quoting SuperMom2433:

I honestly don't know if I can go somewhere else. I don't really have anywhere else to go. If I did, I still don't think I would want to do that. I really think that something else is going on and he's taking it out on me. Not sure what it is. We just bought a trailer and moved in. We don't have cable yet and it get boring here. Things have gotten so much worse since we moved in.








Quoting Momof5kids84:

You shouldn't have to say anything other than that you love him and will always be there for him. Tell him that it's either counseling or your leaving and not coming back until he goes. Leaving does not necessarily mean that you it's over or that you're giving either one of you the right to look elsewhere. It just means that you won't and can't live like that anymore. He is destroying your marriage. Don't let his tears stop you. He needs to hurt and hit rock bottom before he'll commit to counseling. If you leave, make sure that still make yourself available to him whenever he needs you and that you make it a point to call him and answer his calls. This way, he will know that he's not alone, and that you're still committed to him.









Quoting SuperMom2433:

I know he's not guilty of cheating. He's def not cheating. I know he has trust issues but he doesn't want to see a counselor. I wish he would because Im starting to wonder if he's just here because he feels like he has to be. I don't know if he really loves me. Im almost in tears thinking about that. I know Im not perfect but dammit Im a good wife. I know I am. Im just at a loss. Im not happy now but I love him more than life itself. He is my soulmate. He's my best friend. I just don't know what to say anymore.












Quoting Momof5kids84:

Sounds like he has trust issues. To me, cheating when you're dating is wrong, but, really, it's not like you're married. I cheated on my bf of 5 yrs with my now husband. I broke it off with him to be with DH. My DH never brings that up. It's not even an issue. I think that you should seek counseling for his trust issues. No one should have to live this way. Also, do you think that he could be the one cheating and his guilt is killing him?













Quoting SuperMom2433:

No. Im not a cheater. I have been faithful to my husband the whole time we have been together. We have been together for 9 years and married for 7.5 years. He doesn't trust me and I haven't done anything for him to question. Im an honest person and took our vows seriously. He's going off of what happened when we got together. I was with a guy for 1.5 years and met my now hubby a year into my ex relationship. Well, I ended up sleeping with my now hubby and left my ex because I was head over heels in love with my now hubby. So he brings that up saying I did it to my ex what's going to stop me from doing it now? Well, Im married to the lobe of my life and we have two children. Why would I want to cheat and lose everything I have now?
















Quoting Momof5kids84:

Cute baby. Genetics are a funny thing. Did you cheat on your hubby or something? I think that it is weird for it to come out of left field.

















Our newest edition looks nothing like hubby. He looks exactly like me. Also, my hubby has blue eyes and I have brown eyes, but my








16 month old has hazel/green eyes. Where did that come from? Who knows. He is most definitely my DH's though. He's the only one that I've been with for almost 9 yrs.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SuperMom2433
by Gold Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:20 PM
He's remembering how easy our daughter was. She was around a lot of different family as a baby. Our son isn't around a lot of different people. He's def a mommas boy. Hubby says that I have purposely made him that way. ??? He's going to be a mommas boy because Im the one who does everything for him. Hubby has yet to give him a bath and Markus is 10 months old. I can count on one hand how many diapers he's changed. When Markus cries or screams hubby just puts him down and walks away. He doesn't try comforting him. And him calling our son the names and being the way he is to him is not good. Markus may not be able to understand the words but he understands the tones.


Quoting Momof5kids84:

Sure, it does. My oldest is 7 also. He would definitely have issues with me. Your daughter thinks that you wronged her daddy! Don't think for a second that she doesn't put two and two together either. Him calling your son a pussy is unacceptable. My husband has done that before out of anger, and I always tell him that it is wrong when we are in private. He always goes back and apologizes to him. Your kids need to know that you two are a team and that you will always be there to love and support them. You can't allow him to damage your son.



Quoting SuperMom2433:

That is very true. Our daughter (7 years old) gets really upset and she's actually treating me really badly and I think it has a lot to do with him.






Quoting Momof5kids84:

I wouldn't want to go either, but, honestly, I would go for the sake of my kids if not anything else. They don't deserve to be subjected to your fighting or tension. You have to put them first.







Quoting SuperMom2433:

I honestly don't know if I can go somewhere else. I don't really have anywhere else to go. If I did, I still don't think I would want to do that. I really think that something else is going on and he's taking it out on me. Not sure what it is. We just bought a trailer and moved in. We don't have cable yet and it get boring here. Things have gotten so much worse since we moved in.










Quoting Momof5kids84:

You shouldn't have to say anything other than that you love him and will always be there for him. Tell him that it's either counseling or your leaving and not coming back until he goes. Leaving does not necessarily mean that you it's over or that you're giving either one of you the right to look elsewhere. It just means that you won't and can't live like that anymore. He is destroying your marriage. Don't let his tears stop you. He needs to hurt and hit rock bottom before he'll commit to counseling. If you leave, make sure that still make yourself available to him whenever he needs you and that you make it a point to call him and answer his calls. This way, he will know that he's not alone, and that you're still committed to him.











Quoting SuperMom2433:

I know he's not guilty of cheating. He's def not cheating. I know he has trust issues but he doesn't want to see a counselor. I wish he would because Im starting to wonder if he's just here because he feels like he has to be. I don't know if he really loves me. Im almost in tears thinking about that. I know Im not perfect but dammit Im a good wife. I know I am. Im just at a loss. Im not happy now but I love him more than life itself. He is my soulmate. He's my best friend. I just don't know what to say anymore.














Quoting Momof5kids84:

Sounds like he has trust issues. To me, cheating when you're dating is wrong, but, really, it's not like you're married. I cheated on my bf of 5 yrs with my now husband. I broke it off with him to be with DH. My DH never brings that up. It's not even an issue. I think that you should seek counseling for his trust issues. No one should have to live this way. Also, do you think that he could be the one cheating and his guilt is killing him?















Quoting SuperMom2433:

No. Im not a cheater. I have been faithful to my husband the whole time we have been together. We have been together for 9 years and married for 7.5 years. He doesn't trust me and I haven't done anything for him to question. Im an honest person and took our vows seriously. He's going off of what happened when we got together. I was with a guy for 1.5 years and met my now hubby a year into my ex relationship. Well, I ended up sleeping with my now hubby and left my ex because I was head over heels in love with my now hubby. So he brings that up saying I did it to my ex what's going to stop me from doing it now? Well, Im married to the lobe of my life and we have two children. Why would I want to cheat and lose everything I have now?


















Quoting Momof5kids84:

Cute baby. Genetics are a funny thing. Did you cheat on your hubby or something? I think that it is weird for it to come out of left field.



















Our newest edition looks nothing like hubby. He looks exactly like me. Also, my hubby has blue eyes and I have brown eyes, but my









16 month old has hazel/green eyes. Where did that come from? Who knows. He is most definitely my DH's though. He's the only one that I've been with for almost 9 yrs.





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LuvMyBrennaBean
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:22 PM

Besides the blue eyes, he looks just like him!! Didn't he take biology class? If you both carry the gene for blue eyes, your children will have blue eyes... even if neither of you do. Its the dominant gene!

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