Im still so upset and hurt.

I posted last night about hubby getting angry at me because our son has blue eyes and "looks nothing like" hubby.
Here is a baby pic of hubby. Im mobile so Im going to comment with a pic of me as a baby and a pic of Markus. I'll post a recent pic of hubby too. Im so upset about what has been happening lately.

[SuperMom2433]

I have told him that. He still doesn't believe me. Supposedly he isn't saying that I cheated on him he's just confused why he has light features she he's so dark. Ummm....you were light when you were a baby!

Quoting LuvMyBrennaBean:

Besides the blue eyes, he looks just like him!! Didn't he take biology class? If you both carry the gene for blue eyes, your children will have blue eyes... even if neither of you do. Its the dominant gene!

[blondieof3kids]

looks like he has blue eyes?  wow, i think your man needs to grow up what is he implying? 

[-mrs.mamma-]

 I really can't fathom why he would be doing and saying those things.. both to you and your son. that's not right Momma & the issue with your son should definitely be addressed. he's an innocent child. and that kind of treatment I couldn't even think twice about tolerating

[SuperMom2433]

I just don't know what's going thru hubbys head. I honestly can't figure it out. There has to be something Im not seeing it reading into. Our whole relationship (9 years, 7.5 years married) I have never thought of us being apart. This past week divorce has crossed my mind and I hate it! Its not what I want but I also don't want what I've had this past week. I really feel unloved and somewhat alone. Last night we made up and he was so passionate and loving that I wonder if that was his way of apologizing. I don't know but Im just not happy and Im normally a happy, easy going person.

Quoting -mrs.mamma-:

 I really can't fathom why he would be doing and saying those things.. both to you and your son. that's not right Momma & the issue with your son should definitely be addressed. he's an innocent child. and that kind of treatment I couldn't even think twice about tolerating

[98765]

Seripusly? Have u given him any reason not to trust you? I dont look like anyone in my family. Both parents and both siblings have brown hair. I have blonde hair. I have blue eyes, neither of my parents do. My brother does tho. They all have dark coloring and i am fair.

Whats his problem?

[SuperMom2433]

Nope, no reason whatsoever. Im not sure what his problem is. He's all fine today, basically acting like nothing happened.

Quoting 98765:

Seripusly? Have u given him any reason not to trust you? I dont look like anyone in my family. Both parents and both siblings have brown hair. I have blonde hair. I have blue eyes, neither of my parents do. My brother does tho. They all have dark coloring and i am fair.



Whats his problem?

[frankiesma530]

 looks like him to me!

[Momof5kids84]

My husband doesn't do bathtimes or diapers either, but he holds and feeds the babies when needed. He plays with the kids. My hubby will do the bath though where I stick the boys into the shower with him one at time. That is when we're in a rush. Yes, the baby does understand tone. Your husband is scaring him. That is why he doesn't like daddy. My boys love me and want me when they need comfort, but my husband is a close second.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

He's remembering how easy our daughter was. She was around a lot of different family as a baby. Our son isn't around a lot of different people. He's def a mommas boy. Hubby says that I have purposely made him that way. ??? He's going to be a mommas boy because Im the one who does everything for him. Hubby has yet to give him a bath and Markus is 10 months old. I can count on one hand how many diapers he's changed. When Markus cries or screams hubby just puts him down and walks away. He doesn't try comforting him. And him calling our son the names and being the way he is to him is not good. Markus may not be able to understand the words but he understands the tones.

Quoting Momof5kids84:

Sure, it does. My oldest is 7 also. He would definitely have issues with me. Your daughter thinks that you wronged her daddy! Don't think for a second that she doesn't put two and two together either. Him calling your son a pussy is unacceptable. My husband has done that before out of anger, and I always tell him that it is wrong when we are in private. He always goes back and apologizes to him. Your kids need to know that you two are a team and that you will always be there to love and support them. You can't allow him to damage your son.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

That is very true. Our daughter (7 years old) gets really upset and she's actually treating me really badly and I think it has a lot to do with him.

Quoting Momof5kids84:

I wouldn't want to go either, but, honestly, I would go for the sake of my kids if not anything else. They don't deserve to be subjected to your fighting or tension. You have to put them first.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

I honestly don't know if I can go somewhere else. I don't really have anywhere else to go. If I did, I still don't think I would want to do that. I really think that something else is going on and he's taking it out on me. Not sure what it is. We just bought a trailer and moved in. We don't have cable yet and it get boring here. Things have gotten so much worse since we moved in.

Quoting Momof5kids84:

You shouldn't have to say anything other than that you love him and will always be there for him. Tell him that it's either counseling or your leaving and not coming back until he goes. Leaving does not necessarily mean that you it's over or that you're giving either one of you the right to look elsewhere. It just means that you won't and can't live like that anymore. He is destroying your marriage. Don't let his tears stop you. He needs to hurt and hit rock bottom before he'll commit to counseling. If you leave, make sure that still make yourself available to him whenever he needs you and that you make it a point to call him and answer his calls. This way, he will know that he's not alone, and that you're still committed to him.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

I know he's not guilty of cheating. He's def not cheating. I know he has trust issues but he doesn't want to see a counselor. I wish he would because Im starting to wonder if he's just here because he feels like he has to be. I don't know if he really loves me. Im almost in tears thinking about that. I know Im not perfect but dammit Im a good wife. I know I am. Im just at a loss. Im not happy now but I love him more than life itself. He is my soulmate. He's my best friend. I just don't know what to say anymore.

Quoting Momof5kids84:

Sounds like he has trust issues. To me, cheating when you're dating is wrong, but, really, it's not like you're married. I cheated on my bf of 5 yrs with my now husband. I broke it off with him to be with DH. My DH never brings that up. It's not even an issue. I think that you should seek counseling for his trust issues. No one should have to live this way. Also, do you think that he could be the one cheating and his guilt is killing him?

Quoting SuperMom2433:

No. Im not a cheater. I have been faithful to my husband the whole time we have been together. We have been together for 9 years and married for 7.5 years. He doesn't trust me and I haven't done anything for him to question. Im an honest person and took our vows seriously. He's going off of what happened when we got together. I was with a guy for 1.5 years and met my now hubby a year into my ex relationship. Well, I ended up sleeping with my now hubby and left my ex because I was head over heels in love with my now hubby. So he brings that up saying I did it to my ex what's going to stop me from doing it now? Well, Im married to the lobe of my life and we have two children. Why would I want to cheat and lose everything I have now?

Quoting Momof5kids84:

Cute baby. Genetics are a funny thing. Did you cheat on your hubby or something? I think that it is weird for it to come out of left field.





















Our newest edition looks nothing like hubby. He looks exactly like me. Also, my hubby has blue eyes and I have brown eyes, but my










16 month old has hazel/green eyes. Where did that come from? Who knows. He is most definitely my DH's though. He's the only one that I've been with for almost 9 yrs.

[SuperMom2433]

He will play with the kids and does a lot. He's a great dad. But he gives our daughter way more attention than out son because "he feels bad for her". And the fact that he expects Markus to stay quiet and not ever cry is beyond reality.

Quoting Momof5kids84:

My husband doesn't do bathtimes or diapers either, but he holds and feeds the babies when needed. He plays with the kids. My hubby will do the bath though where I stick the boys into the shower with him one at time. That is when we're in a rush. Yes, the baby does understand tone. Your husband is scaring him. That is why he doesn't like daddy. My boys love me and want me when they need comfort, but my husband is a close second.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

He's remembering how easy our daughter was. She was around a lot of different family as a baby. Our son isn't around a lot of different people. He's def a mommas boy. Hubby says that I have purposely made him that way. ??? He's going to be a mommas boy because Im the one who does everything for him. Hubby has yet to give him a bath and Markus is 10 months old. I can count on one hand how many diapers he's changed. When Markus cries or screams hubby just puts him down and walks away. He doesn't try comforting him. And him calling our son the names and being the way he is to him is not good. Markus may not be able to understand the words but he understands the tones.

Quoting Momof5kids84:

Sure, it does. My oldest is 7 also. He would definitely have issues with me. Your daughter thinks that you wronged her daddy! Don't think for a second that she doesn't put two and two together either. Him calling your son a pussy is unacceptable. My husband has done that before out of anger, and I always tell him that it is wrong when we are in private. He always goes back and apologizes to him. Your kids need to know that you two are a team and that you will always be there to love and support them. You can't allow him to damage your son.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

That is very true. Our daughter (7 years old) gets really upset and she's actually treating me really badly and I think it has a lot to do with him.

Quoting Momof5kids84:

I wouldn't want to go either, but, honestly, I would go for the sake of my kids if not anything else. They don't deserve to be subjected to your fighting or tension. You have to put them first.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

I honestly don't know if I can go somewhere else. I don't really have anywhere else to go. If I did, I still don't think I would want to do that. I really think that something else is going on and he's taking it out on me. Not sure what it is. We just bought a trailer and moved in. We don't have cable yet and it get boring here. Things have gotten so much worse since we moved in.

Quoting Momof5kids84:

You shouldn't have to say anything other than that you love him and will always be there for him. Tell him that it's either counseling or your leaving and not coming back until he goes. Leaving does not necessarily mean that you it's over or that you're giving either one of you the right to look elsewhere. It just means that you won't and can't live like that anymore. He is destroying your marriage. Don't let his tears stop you. He needs to hurt and hit rock bottom before he'll commit to counseling. If you leave, make sure that still make yourself available to him whenever he needs you and that you make it a point to call him and answer his calls. This way, he will know that he's not alone, and that you're still committed to him.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

I know he's not guilty of cheating. He's def not cheating. I know he has trust issues but he doesn't want to see a counselor. I wish he would because Im starting to wonder if he's just here because he feels like he has to be. I don't know if he really loves me. Im almost in tears thinking about that. I know Im not perfect but dammit Im a good wife. I know I am. Im just at a loss. Im not happy now but I love him more than life itself. He is my soulmate. He's my best friend. I just don't know what to say anymore.

Quoting Momof5kids84:

Sounds like he has trust issues. To me, cheating when you're dating is wrong, but, really, it's not like you're married. I cheated on my bf of 5 yrs with my now husband. I broke it off with him to be with DH. My DH never brings that up. It's not even an issue. I think that you should seek counseling for his trust issues. No one should have to live this way. Also, do you think that he could be the one cheating and his guilt is killing him?

Quoting SuperMom2433:

No. Im not a cheater. I have been faithful to my husband the whole time we have been together. We have been together for 9 years and married for 7.5 years. He doesn't trust me and I haven't done anything for him to question. Im an honest person and took our vows seriously. He's going off of what happened when we got together. I was with a guy for 1.5 years and met my now hubby a year into my ex relationship. Well, I ended up sleeping with my now hubby and left my ex because I was head over heels in love with my now hubby. So he brings that up saying I did it to my ex what's going to stop me from doing it now? Well, Im married to the lobe of my life and we have two children. Why would I want to cheat and lose everything I have now?

Quoting Momof5kids84:

Cute baby. Genetics are a funny thing. Did you cheat on your hubby or something? I think that it is weird for it to come out of left field.























Our newest edition looks nothing like hubby. He looks exactly like me. Also, my hubby has blue eyes and I have brown eyes, but my











16 month old has hazel/green eyes. Where did that come from? Who knows. He is most definitely my DH's though. He's the only one that I've been with for almost 9 yrs.

[Momof5kids84]

Is this common? The fighting and then making up? If so, the making up part must be beginning to get old because it doesn't last. I don't blame you for thinking about divorce. He could still be a good man if he would get counseling.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

I just don't know what's going thru hubbys head. I honestly can't figure it out. There has to be something Im not seeing it reading into. Our whole relationship (9 years, 7.5 years married) I have never thought of us being apart. This past week divorce has crossed my mind and I hate it! Its not what I want but I also don't want what I've had this past week. I really feel unloved and somewhat alone. Last night we made up and he was so passionate and loving that I wonder if that was his way of apologizing. I don't know but Im just not happy and Im normally a happy, easy going person.

Quoting -mrs.mamma-:

 I really can't fathom why he would be doing and saying those things.. both to you and your son. that's not right Momma & the issue with your son should definitely be addressed. he's an innocent child. and that kind of treatment I couldn't even think twice about tolerating