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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Im still so upset and hurt.

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I posted last night about hubby getting angry at me because our son has blue eyes and "looks nothing like" hubby.
Here is a baby pic of hubby. Im mobile so Im going to comment with a pic of me as a baby and a pic of Markus. I'll post a recent pic of hubby too. Im so upset about what has been happening lately.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Replies (71-74):
KyrinM
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:30 PM
My take on it, due to having actually read many of OP's posts & talked to her about some of them is that her DH has some serious emotional hurts he is carrying around that are affecting his marriage. She doesn't have to be guilty of anything for someone with these kinds of emotional hurts to imagine them. He obviously has trust issues when it comes to women, she may never have given him any reason to doubt her, but someone in his past has & it makes him doubt everyone now. Don't assume you know everything here, don't assume that because someone is treating another as untrustworthy that they aren't to be trusted, it can have nothing to do with that person being questioned & everything to do with the person doing the questioning.
Quoting rayroe2:

 I am not being mean if this guy doesn't even think she faithful, she doesn't need to be venting about it she needs to be finding out why he actingthat way simple as that. Really she always acting like she does nothing wrong, he must know something about her or she done SOMETHING maybe not cheat but something that makes this man feel this way or maybe he doesn't want to be with her so he treats her like a bitch.

Quoting KyrinM:

Quoting rayroe2:

 I been reading your post and it sounds like you complain a lot and your husband is fed up with how much you wine, aren't you pregnant also because I seen you in the pregnancygroup posting also........he prob saying mean shit to actual give you something to complain about.

And what is your excuse? Oy, if you have nothing constructive or nice to say, stay out of it. You having a bad day today? Sorry if you are, but that is no excuse, off with you now. OP has enough negative stuff on her plate without ugly people attacking her. Also, learn to spell properly, wine is a lovely drink made of grapes, whine is complaining unnecessarily, two very different words & meanings, get it straight. Anyway, go be hostile & negative somewhere else, please. Thanks!

 

rayroe2
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:43 PM

 I stated that, it is highlighted in red. I wouldn't let a man treat me like this, I am not "bashing" her. I am giving some truths when it comes to things like this as an on looker(I dont sugar coat stuff), if you take it as mean, that not going change anything about what I am saying because it is meant for the OP not you. If this man is not willing to work through his hurts and pains (that she didn't even cause as you say) then he doesn't love her or the family he made with her. I am not going to call him names like most women on here but she is setting a bad example for her kids by being treated like this. It sounds like he has a drinking prob, so did my father and he ruined his family, so instead of telling me I am being a certain way ask what mean because she needs to ask herself do I want to live my life with this man forever everyday or do I want to make a better life for me and my kids OR do I want to see how much things can be worked out if he is on the same page. That is where she is at in this marriage.

Quoting KyrinM:

My take on it, due to having actually read many of OP's posts & talked to her about some of them is that her DH has some serious emotional hurts he is carrying around that are affecting his marriage. She doesn't have to be guilty of anything for someone with these kinds of emotional hurts to imagine them. He obviously has trust issues when it comes to women, she may never have given him any reason to doubt her, but someone in his past has & it makes him doubt everyone now. Don't assume you know everything here, don't assume that because someone is treating another as untrustworthy that they aren't to be trusted, it can have nothing to do with that person being questioned & everything to do with the person doing the questioning.
Quoting rayroe2:

 I am not being mean if this guy doesn't even think she faithful, she doesn't need to be venting about it she needs to be finding out why he actingthat way simple as that. Really she always acting like she does nothing wrong, he must know something about her or she done SOMETHING maybe not cheat but something that makes this man feel this way or maybe he doesn't want to be with her so he treats her like a bitch.

Quoting KyrinM:

Quoting rayroe2:

 I been reading your post and it sounds like you complain a lot and your husband is fed up with how much you wine, aren't you pregnant also because I seen you in the pregnancygroup posting also........he prob saying mean shit to actual give you something to complain about.

And what is your excuse? Oy, if you have nothing constructive or nice to say, stay out of it. You having a bad day today? Sorry if you are, but that is no excuse, off with you now. OP has enough negative stuff on her plate without ugly people attacking her. Also, learn to spell properly, wine is a lovely drink made of grapes, whine is complaining unnecessarily, two very different words & meanings, get it straight. Anyway, go be hostile & negative somewhere else, please. Thanks!

 

 

CafeMom Tickers
alexsmomaubrys2
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:46 PM

LOL.

DH - Brown hair, hazel eyes

Me - Brown hair, hazel eyes

DS - Brown hair, hazel eyes

DD - Blond hair, hazel eyes.

It is all about genetics and if there is someone in the past with blue eyes, there is always the chance of your child having it.

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KyrinM
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:56 PM

Rayroe, I understand.  But she is trying to find a solution to help save her marriage, not just toss it aside & not fight for it.  So other than leaving, what other solutions would you suggest to her?  Yes, I agree she should not let him treat her like this, but in order to make a stand, she needs a way to talk to him that won't put him on the defensive & make him shut down on her.  Perhaps she needs someone else in the family to intervene, someone who can explain to DH how he is hurting his wife & children with his behavior & get through to him when she can't.  I know that my EX would ignore me & what I said, but when another man told him he was being unfair to me & that his behavior wasn't right, he would listen.  Not for long mind you, but he would hear him out, when he would disregard what I said entirely.  I would suggest a male counselor also, I don't think he respects women enough to listen to a female counselor.


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