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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

I'm curious as to what 'rule(s)' you and your Husband set when you got married.

Ours is:

NEVER say you want a divorce no matter how mad you are unless you mean it.


by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Replies (21-30):
super_mom_5
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:43 AM

our main rule is its ok to look long as we dont do more than that. also to not hide anything from each other.

Cowgirl_Coyote
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:46 AM

There are always going to be conditions to any relationship, not to loving each other, but for each other's sanity

  • Neither of us are allowed to spend more the $100 without the other agreeing to it first, unless it's groceries or an emergency home repair. Also, every six months, we save $100 each so that we can each get something special for ourselves that is not for a birthday or christmas. We'll see how that holds up though, since we just had our frist child.


  • We (mostly me) are not allowed to bring home any more animals without the other agreeing to it first, which, in the case of rehoming strays, he normally doesn't care. (this rule is because, while we were on our honeymoon, my flip flops broke so I went to WalMart to get some new ones and I arrived back at the hotel with an Australian Shepherd puppy) We have five dogs, three cats, plus the farm animals, and I am a sucker for puppies and kittens so we are in agreement on this.


  • I keep my five year old niece during the week while her parents work and she will sometimes spend the night when she doesn't have school. My husband has just asked that she not spend the night on Saturday or Sunday night, since Sunday is the only day that we both have off of work. Otherwise, he loves spending time with her. There are always exceptions to the rule, in emergency cases. Last summer, her mother's apendix ruptured and my brother had to rush her to the hospital. Kayla stayed with us for several days so that my brother could stay with my sister in law at the hospital. For that, he had no problem with her staying over on a Sunday. She also stayed the weekend with us when her parents went out of town for my sister-in-law's cousin's funeral.


Other then that, I can't think of any that are acutally spoken. There are always the unspoken ones, like no cheating, no hitting, no going to bed mad, no threatening divorce, ect.

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katelynsmom22
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:46 AM

we have the same understanding, if one of us would ever think about going outside our marriage we will tell each other and either figure out what is going wrong with our relationship to make one of us want to go outside each other or we separate. DH helped me get through my moms affairs (i knew of 5 in a 2yr period) and even agreed with me when I said his father and my mother wouldnt be allowed around our DD if they continued their relations, so we talked about for quite some time when my father took my mom back.

Quoting Ksmomy:

Not sure how to explain it but if one of us is truelly thinking of going outside the marriage we need to show enough respect to talk to eachother instead of cheating!
Yes yes yes I know it would be respectful to be attracted to someone other than eachother but we live in the real world where these things happen! We don't live with blinders on or our eyes closed!


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ColorMeCrazy
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:47 AM

We agreed right away that cheating is a deal breaker. ANY cheating, any form, and we're done. It's not something either of us can deal with, it's too much of a mind fuck.

gilbertgrl627
by Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:51 AM
1 mom liked this

Well, it hasn't been a "marriage rule" but a "rule" in our relationship: no name calling. Something I had noticed in other relationships that I didn't like. People would argue and call each other every name in the book. To me, name calling seems to feed an argument, and when you call your spouse an a**hole or b*tch, that's not a sign of respect. Just because you're arguing, it doesn't mean it's ok to say things like that. You know, don't say it unless you mean it (like the word "divorce").

gilbertgrl627
by Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:55 AM

Yup, this is one of ours, too. DH and I were both in debt when we got married (lol, not because of the wedding) and we could barely afford payments. We did end up paying it off and we vowed never to get in that kind of debt again. Any big purchases need to be discussed beforehand. We like to keep each other in check when it comes to finances.

Quoting Cowgirl_Coyote:

There are always going to be conditions to any relationship, not to loving each other, but for each other's sanity

  • Neither of us are allowed to spend more the $100 without the other agreeing to it first, unless it's groceries or an emergency home repair. Also, every six months, we save $100 each so that we can each get something special for ourselves that is not for a birthday or christmas. We'll see how that holds up though, since we just had our frist child.


  • We (mostly me) are not allowed to bring home any more animals without the other agreeing to it first, which, in the case of rehoming strays, he normally doesn't care. (this rule is because, while we were on our honeymoon, my flip flops broke so I went to WalMart to get some new ones and I arrived back at the hotel with an Australian Shepherd puppy) We have five dogs, three cats, plus the farm animals, and I am a sucker for puppies and kittens so we are in agreement on this.


  • I keep my five year old niece during the week while her parents work and she will sometimes spend the night when she doesn't have school. My husband has just asked that she not spend the night on Saturday or Sunday night, since Sunday is the only day that we both have off of work. Otherwise, he loves spending time with her. There are always exceptions to the rule, in emergency cases. Last summer, her mother's apendix ruptured and my brother had to rush her to the hospital. Kayla stayed with us for several days so that my brother could stay with my sister in law at the hospital. For that, he had no problem with her staying over on a Sunday. She also stayed the weekend with us when her parents went out of town for my sister-in-law's cousin's funeral.


Other then that, I can't think of any that are acutally spoken. There are always the unspoken ones, like no cheating, no hitting, no going to bed mad, no threatening divorce, ect.


Krysden
by Platinum Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:02 AM

We don't really have any rules... we made an agreement when we first started dating though.   We agreed that if we couldn't discuss things like rational, reasonable adults then whatever it is doesn't need to be discussed right then.   And in nearly 13yrs together (almost 10 of those married) we have never had a fight.

AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:02 AM

The only (unspoken) rule we ever really had was absolutely no cheating.  We were both cheated on and that's a deal breaker for us.

Acid
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:18 AM

No rules here.

purple899
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:20 AM
Don't have any
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