My husband and I have had an issue with his facebook usage for a couple years now. I get upset about him looking up random girls facebook pages and just looking at their pictures. I just feel it's really creepy and perverted thing to do. Most of the girls are ones he has met at work, or like just friends of friends. Some are young, like 17 or 18. We are both in our 30s. I have talked with him numerous times about why this upsets me. He even admitted to me that he sometimes fantasizes about certain girls instead of looking at porn. I have no issue with porn at all and up until this facebook thing we had sex on a very frequent basis. I'm just not sure what to do about it. He will stop doing it for a while then I will notice he has searched differnt girls names etc. I hate to keep confronting him about it when he obviosuly doesn't care about my feelings on the issue. I even went so far as to block some of the girls pages he went to most often so he couldn't aceess them but then he would just go to different girls pages. Any advice here I really am at my wits end as to what to do with him. It is making me not even want to be affectionate to him. I have lost alot of trust and do not feel attracted to him much at all after this.
EDIT: So I brought this up to my husband again, and told him in no uncertain terms I would not accept this going on in our relationship. And if he planned to continue being married to me he would get rid of his facebook(since all he really used it for was this anyway) and he would go with me to counseling. He at first came across like I was attacking him and calling him a terrible person etc. Which isnt how I intended for it to come out. I then sent him an email explaining it better since I could proofread it before sending it. Giving him a very detailed explanation of how it made me feel and that it had to stop. At first he tried to defend it saying people are different and just because i think its wrong doesn't mean it is etc and that if i asked a group of guys instead of girls they would all say it was normal. Then i kinda blew up at him again and said ok if its normal for you to do it I still cannot accept it and you can start sleeping on the couch because I don't want to share a bed with someone who thinks thats normal. We talked a while more and he decided he would go to couples counseling and said he only said it was normal because he was defensive about me thinking hes a bad person. So I told him to make the appt, I don't want to do it all for him so its like I'm totally forcing him. I want him to know that our relationship needs help and we have to start making changes. Hope it works this time. Thank you all for your adivce :)
idk, DH and I dont have facebooks... DH HATES facebook and sees it as a hook up site... so in that case neither of us have them... sorry... no advice here so I guess this is a BUMP... good luck babe
Yep, my mom holds the same views! :D
Quoting ProudMommy51006:
Lol, you sound exactly like my mom. She is 42 ;-) I agree.
Quoting ZsMommy:Life existed before FB...Can you both mutually agree to kill the account. People say Oh-I can't send pics,stay in touch,etc etc...Use regular email,pick up the phone. Fb to me is crazy-people can actually survive without knowing what someone had for breakfast or when they're going to bed. I know the FB lover's will bash me-meh-whatever. I'm 43-the world existed before social media. I'd say time to take a break for both of you on the computer and get back to focussing on each other.
It's a two way street here. You can't delete his account while keeping yours. That's like smoking in front of your so who's trying to quit. Delete both accounts. Social networking sites can be very debilitating to relationships. Fantasizing about young girls is scary- seek therapy.
Oh myyyyyy... I'm so sorry!!!!
I think we should all watch our backs...!
Quoting RAINEYGURL:I lost my hubby to a FB woman. It starts out innocently enough, but mundane normal life is soon too boring and he went further than he should have. So, three adoptions and 17 years of marriage, all went up in smoke after his FB time increased. So, one divorce later, a move out of state and starting a new life, I can look back and pinpoint when it all started. Watch your back.
No offense but it seems like he is exhibiting petifile(sorry if I spelled it wrong) behavior and I would be reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallll concerned if you have daughters,teenage relatives or friends with teenage girls. Every action starts with a thought and this thing goes way past you and his sex life. If he seems to have a big sexual appetite that could be a even bigger indication that his desires are getting worse and will eventually come to a head.
wow thats just crazy, and i can feel where your coming from, i can not relate but i know what you mean...about the girls on facebook and what not,, ah im sorry you have to get your feelings hurt and him not care about how you feel or taking consideration of fixing the problem himself just so you can have a peace at mind, i felt same way i use to cry feeling ugly or fat, becuz i felt i could never be his type of fanstany or what kinda girl he likes, ughhh!! about to make me tear up now talkin about this again, i feel you girl, i cant do anything of it and neither can you but to just nag and nag, men will be men i guess, i have no advice but to wish to give you a hug and say i know how you feel
Its always gotta be about him. kinda long
- melroseb1230
on Aug. 5, 2012 at 3:00 AM