i dont understand

[JRSMOM0621]

my husband and i foughtover the most stupid thing last night. for almost two hours we fought over me adding a male friend on facebook. this guy went a little crazy on me while we were friends, he developed a huge crush and told everyone that we were dating. the kid was 15/16 when we hung out i was 17/18. at first i didnt know about the crush til it got out of hand. anyway i told my husband i added him i havent talked to the friend in over three years. he seemed fine with it, i told him what we talked about but then he went on my facebook and read the messages. my husband tried telling me i signed onto facebook through his phone which i know i never did because i barely know how to use his iphone. not only did he lied to me but he went behind my back and read the messages. if he had asked i would have shown him. i didnt think it would have mattered when i added a old friend, i have no problem him adding old exs and crushes from high school and college. Please someone explain to me what may have happened. even though i was there i still dont know why he wouldve went behind my back like that.

[midjet117]

Maybe he's feeling insecure like this guy might try to steal u from him.

[JC2223]

I would assume since you have a shaky history with this "friend" your DH doesn't trust him. Since you didn't notice this "friends" true intentions before, he probably doesn't trust your judgement where this "friend" is concerned. He probably felt jealous and/or possessive and wanted to make sure this "friend" wasn't up to his old crap, but was too afraid or proud to admit that to you.

[1984Grad]

  Just wondering  .  .  .  why would you "friend" a guy who had an out-of-hand crush on you way back.  If the feeling wasn't the same, this guy is just a creep in the first place, why reconnect?

  I can understand  why your DH would have issues and want to know "first-hand" what was going on.  Whether he comes across that way or not, DH is insecure (this is a general thing for DH's) and is trying to look out for your interests.  The fight thing is the defense because he maybe found out that there really is nothing to worry about, but now has to justify his actions and doesn't have a leg to stand on. 

  Let it go, do not retaliate and in the future, make sure that your actions leave DH with no trust issues and be open and honest with him.

[JRSMOM0621]

i am way older than this kid. yeah i am a bit blind when people are flirting with me but im not that blind. but i can see where he is coming from. as to whh i added him i wanted to see why he added me. he seems grown up now

[CutieCrab]

Quoting midjet117:

Maybe he's feeling insecure like this guy might try to steal u from him.

[jac77]

I can guarantee this is what mine would say. But he only cares about me having men on my fb that I've had a sexual relationship w. He has an ex on his that he dated for like 6 yrs & it just doesn't bother me. Give him time to chill & contemplate.

Quoting midjet117:

Maybe he's feeling insecure like this guy might try to steal u from him.

[Luv.My.Kidz]

Adding ex's on facebook doesn't bother me.... shit my DF and I are having his EX-fiancee and her husband in our wedding next year.... that's how NOT threatened I am about ex's and normally I'm Super threatened....

However.... you need to SIT DOWN and talk with your husband. Explain to him the past is the past and is in the past and staying there. That nothing and no one is going to tear the relationship that you two have apart.... but the insecurity, doubt, and lack of trust either of you have for the other can and will. So both of you (place blame on both of you so it's no so one sided that way it doesn't look like you're pointing fingers, easiest way to get out of a screaming match... lol learned it quick) need to work on that.

[JRSMOM0621]

yeah. i could see him having a problem if i slept with the guy. my husband has had problems with me talking to men that i worked with saying we were flirting. im just not sure if i can fo thid. my ex had a problem with me talking to other men and got violent when i did. my husband did give me much grief but in the past yr and a half he has been very much....controling and over possessive of me. i dont really like it

[Luv.My.Kidz]

I don't get the double standard... he can have a girl he's had a relationship with on his fb but you can't? Uh... that's a bit one sided don't ya think?

Quoting jac77:

I can guarantee this is what mine would say. But he only cares about me having men on my fb that I've had a sexual relationship w. He has an ex on his that he dated for like 6 yrs & it just doesn't bother me. Give him time to chill & contemplate.

Quoting midjet117:

Maybe he's feeling insecure like this guy might try to steal u from him.

[MrsRinehart2010]

 are you sure he wasnt worried this guy was like maybe possibly crazy stalker type guy an worried?