I have tried and tried. I dont know what to do anymore. Part of it is my fault and I have taken full ownership of my actions. We are not in a committed relationship and earlier in our relationship I was aware that he was dating other people. At the beginning of this year curiousity got the best of me and I looked at another womans profile. I wanted to see why she was so special and what made her "better" than me. I was thinking (at the time) what's keeping him from me? We both knew of one another and my profile is public. I had nothing to hide, I was just curious. She saw that I looked at her profile (again I wasnt hiding anything) and I didn't contact her, reach out to her, nothing...He asked me about it and I took FULL ownership of my actions. I told why I did it, I wasn't trying to justify or make up excuses. I simply answered his question. Since then everything has been going well, a few trying times (nothing major). We got even closer (I feel) during June and July. Both of us really opened up more to eachother and it was the best feeling in the world. He was TDY in Ft. Polk and I went to go see him. Even though we didn't spend every minute together, I had so much fun just being with him and enjoying his company. Everything between us has been long distance and it is so hard to build and maintain any type of relationship from afar. Just recently, we had a conversation where he indicated that in the past women have tried to "trap" him and that is why he takes his time before making a committment (I totally understand and respect that), but what shocked me and hurt me more than words can describe is that he put me into the category of the past women who tried to trap him because of that incident earlier this year. I don't know or see how what I did was an entrapment. And furthermore why would he continue to be involved with me and invest time with me, and have deep conversations with me if he felt that I was "trapping" him. I have no bad intentions with him...None. I honestly (and call me crazy if you want to) I can see myself married to him. I have been full forward with him. I told him once that I loved him however he didnt believe me and I have never said it to him again since. Am I stupid for holding on and wanting this to work and being afraid of losing him...I am in love with this man and I will take the bad with the good. It just seems as though it is ok for him to make mistakes and not others.