Hey, everyone. I'm new to the group. My marriage isn't the best and we've been close to divorce a lot. We have been married for 2 years now. We have 2 kids with one on the way. My husband is a compulsive liar and I will never believe anything he says to me. He doesn't make much and gets paid weekly. He cashes his check before he gets home and has already spent the money we would need. Any money that I put aside from his check to save he grabs it and blows that, too. One week we only had $6 for diapers and that was all to the name of our family. There are no shopping bags coming home when he returns. He spends it somewhere in the world. I don't put cheating/prostitution, giving the money to his aunt, drinking, or anything else out of thought. He has done it all and more.
My husband never gives me an explanation and goes around it. He gives me the same lines each time.
"I need you to help me break the habit."
"I need you to come with me in the bank to cash my checks."
"We need to set a bugdet."
"I need to change jobs and make more money."
I'm just so tired of this. I'm not happy in the marriage. I know he's lying to me. I'm pregnant and due in November. We have nothing for this baby because he has blown our money. Christmas is coming shortly after and I'm scared we won't have anything for that, too. Our other kids don't get anything from him really, but lunch food. My parents have been helping us a lot and I feel ashamed. He just gets mad because he can't claim them in his taxes for a check to spend. My money is out and has been out since May. I'm trying to work everything out, but I'm losing it. With my last pregnancy, I was the one who paid for most of everything. He was still blowing money. He doesn't care about anything or anyone but himself.
Aside from that, he is always trying to get out of the house. I don't know when he gets off of work and apparently he has a lot more time on his hand than I thought. He blames me for him not having enough gas in his car or anything else. Yet, money is given to him all the time from people. I didn't know my husband when we got married. I dated him for 8 years on and off before that. I thought he changed. He tells you what you want to hear and its hard to just not hate him anymore. I know he is not going to change and I don't want to waste my life waiting for him to do the impossible. Its just not in him. He keeps blaming his parent's marriage and how they divorced. He blames his abusive childhood for how he parents his kids. He blames his job for his lack of money. He blames everyone but himself.
why did you keep having kids with this guy? that only made it worst and harder for you to be on your own and harder to separate from him. I suggest you should wait till you have the baby, get yourself together, get a job, save up to be on your own, and leave! He is only bringing you family down!
I've tried leaving in the past. With my last pregnancy, he really showed his anger problems. It does come out sometimes still. I didn't have any rights was my conclusion. I talked to divorce lawyers and I talked to my sister who is a police lieutenant. They all said I needed more evidence to get sole custody of my kids. I don't trust my husband to have them or to even split custody. He's good to them in public, but shows himself at home. The last time divorce was discussed he wanted overnight stays.
He has tried skipping out in the past, but my parents didn't really help. They are pro marriage unless there was some cheating. They were going to help till they realized they couldn't just kick him out of the house. We live with my parents due to the financial problems. He would have had to stay in the house still due to contract and landlord laws. So, my dad threatened him that if he ever leaves he'll hire me a lawyer himself. He told him that he wouldn't have money to put shoes on any other kid he fathers. They thought they were helping me, but him leaving would have been a good thing. It would have given me some grounds. I have more proof now from counseling with him about his anger problems. I have told him not too long ago I want out, but he doesn't go anywhere. My parents intervene and he still doesn't go anywhere. I do see my parents as an issue, too.
Quoting LexiDorrance:I've tried leaving in the past. With my last pregnancy, he really showed his anger problems. It does come out sometimes still. I didn't have any rights was my conclusion. I talked to divorce lawyers and I talked to my sister who is a police lieutenant. They all said I needed more evidence to get sole custody of my kids. I don't trust my husband to have them or to even split custody. He's good to them in public, but shows himself at home. The last time divorce was discussed he wanted overnight stays.
He has tried skipping out in the past, but my parents didn't really help. They are pro marriage unless there was some cheating. They were going to help till they realized they couldn't just kick him out of the house. We live with my parents due to the financial problems. He would have had to stay in the house still due to contract and landlord laws. So, my dad threatened him that if he ever leaves he'll hire me a lawyer himself. He told him that he wouldn't have money to put shoes on any other kid he fathers. They thought they were helping me, but him leaving would have been a good thing. It would have given me some grounds. I have more proof now from counseling with him about his anger problems. I have told him not too long ago I want out, but he doesn't go anywhere. My parents intervene and he still doesn't go anywhere. I do see my parents as an issue, too.
i hate men that dig themselves and their family deeper and deeper and then pull the "pity me" party. you need to find some extra resources for you and your children until you can find a way out.
wow , im so sorry your going through this an pregnant , wow, can you go live with family , do you have support?
on a less pleasant note
he isnt much of a man now is he, cant except responsibility for his actions nor can he support you, he has a habit of some kind an your only enabling him
GET OUT
he well never change , people with addictions dont care about anyone but themselves
I hope you get out of this horrible situation , you deserve to be supported an taken care of an your children deserve a role model, you sticking around well only show them that this behavior is acceptable an that they cant expect much more from their spouse's
im really so sorry your going through this, i went through a abusive relationship an i wish i had , had someone to give me a swift dose of reality
Dh and my argument today made me so mad, and realized he is lazy
- LexiDorrance
on Aug. 22, 2012 at 1:57 PM