3yr old cousin says boyfriend hurt him? Help!

[EmmaLee1122]

Here is the backstory. I have been dating this amazing, wonderful man for about a year now. He is everything I have ever wanted in a S/O and I hope to one day marry him. I absolutely love him and can't wait to have a family with him. But, recently I have encountered something that sort of concerns me. My 3 year old cousin is scared to death of him. When Jason walked into the room, my cousin will get quiet, reserved and put his hand on his nose, like he is hiding his face. The normally bubbly and eccentric toddler turns into a scared, clingy kid. He won't speak to anyone or even move. It's really odd. He doesn't do this to anyone else, and usually warms up to people in about a day. But, he hates Jason. But, when we are out and about without Jason, my cousin will ask, "Wheres Jason? Is he at work? When is coming over?" and then will talk about him and say things like "Jason is a cowboy like me and my daddy. Me and Jason are gonna go rope a cow. I want to wear Jasons cowboy boots." Like he loves him and wants to hang out with him. But, when we ask the cousin if he likes jason, he gets quiet and says "No." When we ask why he shrugs and says "because." He gets quiet and concerned until we change the subject. Once, I had dinner with my cousin and his parents. He said something about Jason, and his dad says, "Why don't you like Jason?" Again, the little boy got quiet and shrugged and his dad pressed and said ,"No, WHY?" The little boy says, "He hurt me." Then goes back to his normal, loud, self. Now, this struck me as odd because at this point they have never, ever been alone with each other for even one second. They had only met about 5 times. The first time was at a cookout with people all around, Jason was with me the whole time. The second time was at a family dinner at a restaurant (we had to sit at a separate table, out of site), the third time was a trip to wal-mart and we just ran into them for 5 minutes, the third was at church and the fifth was when we were babysitting my cousin and Jason came over for 20 minutes. Again, NEVER have been alone and my little cousin has been scared to death of him since he first met him. Other kids LOVE Jason. They aren't scared of him at all, and Jason loves kids. But, my cousin is beginning to be a problem because we cannot get together as a family anymore with Jason there because the little boy flips out. I'm not sure if he is doing it for attention or what, but it really makes me angry sometimes. When we go to a family dinner, me and Jason have to sit at a separate booth or little cousin will suck his thumb, hide and not talk or eat the entire time. And normally, this is an overly active, VERY eccentric kid. My little cousin LOVES my mom, but will not sit with my mom if Jason is even near. If he is at our house and sees a truck pull up, he gets this terrified look on his face and ask if it is Jason. It is so SO weird. They have never (I know for a fact) been alone together. Ever. It is also causing a strain between me and my cousins parents. We planned a large trip this summer, and before Jason had even met my cousin, I invited Jason along. But, after telling my little cousin that jason would be joining us on the trip, he flipped out and his parents had to cancel. Me and my family also cancelled, because we felt like it was our fault (although, NOTHING has happened.) Please, Please help me! I've tried to do research on kid behavior but can't find anything. What do you think? What would you do? Feel free to PM me!

[GLO682]

 i really dont know what to say right now since there isn't anything to go by. the behavior is odd, i wouldnt just completely disregard the slight possibility that something may have occured to have the child feel this way.

i would honestly keep my distance. theres no real reason that jason needs to be around your cousin, so avoid it. if jason is totally innocent, the last thing he would want is to be wrongly accused of something he didnt do.

[CrazyLife1996]

This is a difficult one.

It is possible that maybe someone that resembles your BF could have hurt him and he responds only to your boyfriend because he doesn't know him.

I would sit back and really observe the whole situation as objectively as possible. There is something about him that really freaks him out about him.

I personally would observe interactions completely.

Please understand I'm not saying he has done anything at all it just would make me pay closer attention to settle my own nerves.

[HisPeach]

Not to be a b!+©π but it only takes a second to harm someone. A 3 yo can not fake this behavior.

[heartslove09]

it sounds really strange,you cant get mad at your cousin for this,maybe your feelings for your bf are clouding your judgement.in any case just dont allow both of them to be in the same room until everything is cleared,you cant force it just because you want your bf to be liked by the family.

[Momof5kids84]

I don't know. I mean, he's never been with the toddler. I would normally never recommend this, but have you done a background check on Jason? Sounds crazy, I know. Does the toddler go to daycare? I would look into everything about him just to make sure that he has never been around the child before unknowingly.

If nothing turns up, maybe you could arrange a mediation between Jason and the little boy with family around. I know that you don't want to force anything on him, but maybe if Jason could prove to him that there is nothing to be afraid of then he would settle down.

My first thought was to say not to let a toddler run everybody's life, but sometimes kids have an intuition about things and people that is uncanny.

[Serenity7]

 Keep your boyfriend away from your 3y old cousin!

[MamaHome]

I agree....maybe Jason looks like someone that this boy had interaction with. I would do a background check anyways though.

Quoting CrazyLife1996:

This is a difficult one.

It is possible that maybe someone that resembles your BF could have hurt him and he responds only to your boyfriend because he doesn't know him.

I would sit back and really observe the whole situation as objectively as possible. There is something about him that really freaks him out about him.

I personally would observe interactions completely.

Please understand I'm not saying he has done anything at all it just would make me pay closer attention to settle my own nerves.

[AMDS0304]

That is odd behavior. Idk my kids have never done anything like that with someone we have brought around us! I'm puzzled on this One!!

[alsmullins7]

Maybe he is just intimidated by him. Kids are like that around my dh. The either adore him or they are terrified. Has anyone asked the little boy what Jason did to hurt him? Kids sometimes say things they don't understand.

[prieta05]

Maybe he hurt him in less then a minute while you turn around or something. If the kid is scare is because something happen. Men can have to different faces around you and other people.