So a lil background before I go into everything, my husband and I have a 4 year old, and have just found out we are expecting again, it was a surprise but we are happy, stressed but happy. Ever since I had my son I haven't been the same size, I went on a birth control that made me gain more weigh and I'm now 60lbs heavier than when we met.
We have a decent sex life but my husband doesn't pretend like I'm as sexy as I used to be, he's not mean but when I mention it he says I just want you to be healthy.
Ever since we found out I was pregnant we've had sex maybe twice in almost a month. Normally we do it twice a week. He just doesn't seem interested and I'm even more insecure about how I look. Well I got on the computer and was looking for a link I had found yesterday when I saw amature porn on the history. I've always been jealous of him watching porn, I know most ppl think its just what guys do and I understand they have needs, but why can't he come to me with them? If he's horny why isn't he wanting to have sex, isn't that better than doing it yourself?
I've told him in the past how I was uncomfterble with it, and he basically said to bad he has a right to help himself, I told him I don't have a problem with him masturbating, its just the other women he's looking at make me feel inadiquate, but he was still upset at how I felt, so I'm afraid to even talk to him about it now.
When I see he was watching porn, it just makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him, it makes me insecure and it makes me want to make him jealous, so I went and looked up a bunch of huge cock porn so maybe he will know how I feel, but I'm sure he wont see it on the history, I hate feeling like this, and everything is exaggerated cause of these damn hormones. I wish I could be okay with it, I'm not trying to control him, I just feel like he wants to look at all these other women and not me, it makes enjoying sex difficult cause I feel like I'm being compared to those porn girls. He says it's just pictures but its real people he's looking at and fantasizing about, its not much diffrent than looking at pictures some girl sends you, at least not to me. I've offered to watch it with him to spice things up and we have one or 2 times, I don't know, I just hate feeling like some smothering lame wife.
Am I wrong to feel this way.