is this cheating? UPDATE

[tasha94952]

My husband and i want this marriage to work. He swears that it was just light/meaningless flirting.. he felt bad and stopped anything else from happen. I think all you ladies are right!! I was defintely hurt because i thought i made it clear that i wasnt okay with flirting.. i just simply dont like that. I do think i over reacted though! I was just hurt.. after reading what you ladies said about him not feeling as wanted as usual... that's true too!! When i got pregnant i swore id be nothing like my mom.. she was just awful.. partied 24/7.. i ended up being taken away. But anyways, i tried so hard to be nothing like her.. i got obsessed with trying to be a perfect mom.. i lost who i was. I wasnt fun anymore. I stopped joking/ flirting/drinking/smoking... i just became too serious, ya know? Well this whole situation may have been a blessing in disguse...because i almost lost myself completely!! And i was neglecting my husband. I had a babysitter only ONCE in the last six months. This is changing now!!!!!! After this happened a few days ago, we have already been on a date... we drove out to the beach, it was amazing!!!!! And tomorrow we are going on another date! So thank you ALL so much. Being brutally honest with me woke my ass up.



My husband said, baby i messed up... my heart sank... i was like omg, what happend!? He then told me that a new checker at safeway where he works.. (my dh is also a checker) was flirting with him.. and he flirted back... he said he felt hella bad/guilty about it and stopped talking to her... no touching... nothing sexual was said... just joking around with eachother. He said he realized it was taken too far when he didnt say he was married, and stop flirting with me.. he told me it just felt good to be flirted with.. like a confidnce boost or whatever. I just feel hurt and betrayed. We are madly in love and are staying together. We have been married one year.... and have a 6 month old son. I guess what im looking for is your ladies opinions. How bad is this??? My judment is fogged by my hurt.. is this something we can work through? He says he will never do that again.. and he did just tell me.. not like i caught him.. ugh!!! Im so confused! Do You or your husband flirt with others? Or have you or your husband ever flirted with others? Did you get thru it okay??

[Kimja]

I am so happy things are working for you... have fun on your date!

[notjstasocermom]

i didn't ralize you have to drink and smoke to be fun...guess i'm screwed.

[tasha94952]

Um, You don't have to!!! Duh. We dont smoke or drink, i was just giving examples of everything i stopped doing. Geesh.

Quoting notjstasocermom:

i didn't ralize you have to drink and smoke to be fun...guess i'm screwed.

[tasha94952]

Thanks me too!!!

Quoting Kimja:

I am so happy things are working for you... have fun on your date!

[AngelicMommy_72]

This because my ex likes to flirt wuth girls at work, I had no problem with it, and then shocker of all shockers, he eventually cheated.

I give youre man props,for his honesty. talk things out... Maybe make your jealousy clear (not in an angry way, but letting your loved one knoe you think if them as yours, can be validating all and its own and might be why he told you he was flirting to begin with, to seee if you cared) Set bounties for both of you, and really wuth through this together... Hugs!

Quoting Samantha_1629:

I would be hurt for sure. I wouldn't call it cheating but it's 'playing with fire' so to speak. Some ladies on here will say that flirting is no big deal. I believe it is. I fully believe that a married person should not flirt with other people. It's disrespectful to your marriage. He needs to tell his Co-worker that he is married. And the fact that he felt guilty and told you is good, really good. I would let it go but tell him how you feel and that it's unacceptable in your marriage.

[notjstasocermom]

excuse me, you put it in there.

Quoting tasha94952:

Um, You don't have to!!! Duh. We dont smoke or drink, i was just giving examples of everything i stopped doing. Geesh.

Quoting notjstasocermom:

i didn't ralize you have to drink and smoke to be fun...guess i'm screwed.

[smurfbitebug]

Awesome update

[tasha94952]

THanks :) :) WE had so much fun! We saw the Avengers!! and then went to in and out for some burgers.

Quoting Kimja:

I am so happy things are working for you... have fun on your date!

[tasha94952]

Thanks for the advice :)

Quoting AngelicMommy_72:

This because my ex likes to flirt wuth girls at work, I had no problem with it, and then shocker of all shockers, he eventually cheated.

I give youre man props,for his honesty. talk things out... Maybe make your jealousy clear (not in an angry way, but letting your loved one knoe you think if them as yours, can be validating all and its own and might be why he told you he was flirting to begin with, to seee if you cared) Set bounties for both of you, and really wuth through this together... Hugs!

Quoting Samantha_1629:

I would be hurt for sure. I wouldn't call it cheating but it's 'playing with fire' so to speak. Some ladies on here will say that flirting is no big deal. I believe it is. I fully believe that a married person should not flirt with other people. It's disrespectful to your marriage. He needs to tell his Co-worker that he is married. And the fact that he felt guilty and told you is good, really good. I would let it go but tell him how you feel and that it's unacceptable in your marriage.