is this cheating? UPDATE

[tasha94952]

My husband and i want this marriage to work. He swears that it was just light/meaningless flirting.. he felt bad and stopped anything else from happen. I think all you ladies are right!! I was defintely hurt because i thought i made it clear that i wasnt okay with flirting.. i just simply dont like that. I do think i over reacted though! I was just hurt.. after reading what you ladies said about him not feeling as wanted as usual... that's true too!! When i got pregnant i swore id be nothing like my mom.. she was just awful.. partied 24/7.. i ended up being taken away. But anyways, i tried so hard to be nothing like her.. i got obsessed with trying to be a perfect mom.. i lost who i was. I wasnt fun anymore. I stopped joking/ flirting/drinking/smoking... i just became too serious, ya know? Well this whole situation may have been a blessing in disguse...because i almost lost myself completely!! And i was neglecting my husband. I had a babysitter only ONCE in the last six months. This is changing now!!!!!! After this happened a few days ago, we have already been on a date... we drove out to the beach, it was amazing!!!!! And tomorrow we are going on another date! So thank you ALL so much. Being brutally honest with me woke my ass up.



My husband said, baby i messed up... my heart sank... i was like omg, what happend!? He then told me that a new checker at safeway where he works.. (my dh is also a checker) was flirting with him.. and he flirted back... he said he felt hella bad/guilty about it and stopped talking to her... no touching... nothing sexual was said... just joking around with eachother. He said he realized it was taken too far when he didnt say he was married, and stop flirting with me.. he told me it just felt good to be flirted with.. like a confidnce boost or whatever. I just feel hurt and betrayed. We are madly in love and are staying together. We have been married one year.... and have a 6 month old son. I guess what im looking for is your ladies opinions. How bad is this??? My judment is fogged by my hurt.. is this something we can work through? He says he will never do that again.. and he did just tell me.. not like i caught him.. ugh!!! Im so confused! Do You or your husband flirt with others? Or have you or your husband ever flirted with others? Did you get thru it okay??

[Lindalou907]

He needs to TELL HER that he's married,now that he's told you,which I give him a lot of credit for.

[CreziaMommyTo2]

OMG he flirted... yes its time to call the divorce lawyers. he will never be faithful again.

really?  rolls eyes.  

yes i am being sarcastic, and no flirting is NOT cheating.

[jac77]

Totally able to work through. I understand the hurt & you should maybe have a little counseling. More for boundaries & preventative measures. The problem is that he needed validation from another woman that he is worthy. THAT needs to get to the bottom of. Kudos to him for being up front w you though! But you have been married no time at all & have lots of yrs & more hardships to go.

[justpeachy71904]

I know it does hurt to know that your SO is capable of doing that behind your back... But he told you. Guilt means he feels bad which means he is going to be able to fix the problem, good news. He needs to tell her NOW that he's married. And be done with it.

[Samantha_1629]

I would be hurt for sure. I wouldn't call it cheating but it's 'playing with fire' so to speak. Some ladies on here will say that flirting is no big deal. I believe it is. I fully believe that a married person should not flirt with other people. It's disrespectful to your marriage. He needs to tell his Co-worker that he is married. And the fact that he felt guilty and told you is good, really good. I would let it go but tell him how you feel and that it's unacceptable in your marriage.

[rockinmomto2]

Flirting is one thing. Not saying your married and feeling guilty is something completely different. A little confidence boost here or there is fine. But once it crosses that line, then there's a problem and he admitted that. I would just make the effort to have him talk to you more about what's going on with him and how he's feeling. Men have a tendency to *do* rather than *talk* and it can lead to a lot of trouble.

[madhouseof5]

Its only a problem if you let it be
We all feel flattered if someone wants to flirt with us

Nothing to do with being a man

The man was the one who told you

I love to flirt and my hubby knows it LOL
But if the man came on to me I think I would run a mile
O we have been married 23 years
Both as bad as each other

[tigger1985]

Quoting Samantha_1629:

I would be hurt for sure. I wouldn't call it cheating but it's 'playing with fire' so to speak. Some ladies on here will say that flirting is no big deal. I believe it is. I fully believe that a married person should not flirt with other people. It's disrespectful to your marriage. He needs to tell his Co-worker that he is married. And the fact that he felt guilty and told you is good, really good. I would let it go but tell him how you feel and that it's unacceptable in your marriage.

flirting lead to my husband cheating , i even found photos of the b**** on his phone. So yea it is cheating, because he is telling u that u are not making him happy anymore.

[nicole6870]

Yes flirting is a big deal, no it is not cheating and i'm about as insecure as it gets. I would be hurt and pissed but he did come clean. He needs to tell her he's married immediately if he hasn't already done so. I think it is completely able to be worked through. The first few years of marriage can be rough. You need to still "date" each other. Find a babysitter and go out. Flirt w/your husband. Me personally I'd prob make a trip to his work to buy something and make sure she knows you're his wife. That's just me though. Oh and everyone saying you aren't making him happy is only partially true. Sometimes people just enjoy feeling wanted. It's a confidence booster. Life can get hectic w/a baby in the house.

[beaugrl0824]

I agree with this...

Quoting CreziaMommyTo2:

OMG he flirted... yes its time to call the divorce lawyers. he will never be faithful again.

really?  rolls eyes.  

yes i am being sarcastic, and no flirting is NOT cheating.