My mom and grandparents live in Kansas and Arkansas and have offered to pay for two of the three tickets we need to make a trip from here (Colorado) to Wichita in November for Thanksgiving. We have never in the 9 years we have been together been to visit my family. They have always come here. Well, I have brought up the trip a few times and its like I don't get a straight answer from him. Im not a nagging type of person, but if we dont get the tickets soon, the price is going to keep going up. He keeps talking about how expensive it is going to be and Im starting to get upset. If I had a job and my own paycheck I would buy the ticket today! Im so frustrated and upset that he's not willing to help me out. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Am I expecting too much from him? I told him that I dont have to get my nails done ($20 every other week). I just need some advice on how to handle this situation.
I definately think you should take your family's offer to visit. You should not have to ask your husband for every little thing. The money he makes is not strictly his. It is your family's. I would ask him to sit down with you and create a budget that you'll both be happy with. Every week or two, make time to sit down and discuss that budget and how it's going.
Quoting princessamber:
I couldn't and wouldn't be a stay at home mom if that was the case. In my case he works and I manage everything else. Including $/bills. He asks me for money and he personally purposely did this... He doesn't remember his debit card pin ... He was never good with money so I take care of it and he asks if we have the money if he wants something.. I don't know how I could do what u do knowing I would have to ask for money to even grocery shop... Or make sure dinner was on the table when he got home ... Sit down and talk to him maybe you could set up an account he puts money into for you to use how you please or need to everytime he gets paid
Quoting OHgirlinCA:I definately think you should take your family's offer to visit. You should not have to ask your husband for every little thing. The money he makes is not strictly his. It is your family's. I would ask him to sit down with you and create a budget that you'll both be happy with. Every week or two, make time to sit down and discuss that budget and how it's going.
I have no idea what to tell you on this sweetie. My dh is very much a "we" or "our" person. It's "our" money. I don't have to ask him permission to spend any of it. I will say though, that out of repsect I do tell him what I'm spending the money on and how much but it's not required.
My advice.. take the two tickets and go see your family for Thanksgiving. Maybe spending the holiday alone will open up is eyes?
Quoting AnGLInterrupted:I have no idea what to tell you on this sweetie. My dh is very much a "we" or "our" person. It's "our" money. I don't have to ask him permission to spend any of it. I will say though, that out of repsect I do tell him what I'm spending the money on and how much but it's not required.
My advice.. take the two tickets and go see your family for Thanksgiving. Maybe spending the holiday alone will open up is eyes?
I understand. I wouldn't want to do it either. (tight hugs) I'm sorry sweetie. Hopefully you'll get through to him before it's too late.
Quoting SuperMom2433:
I know that it would probably open his eyes but I can't and won't do that. I won't have my daughter wondering why we aren't spending Thanksgiving without daddy. I think Im going to sit down with him tonight when the kids are in bed and discuss this with him. I need him to understand where Im coming from. I need him to understand how important this is to me. I've already told him but he's still not grasping it fully.
Quoting AnGLInterrupted:I have no idea what to tell you on this sweetie. My dh is very much a "we" or "our" person. It's "our" money. I don't have to ask him permission to spend any of it. I will say though, that out of repsect I do tell him what I'm spending the money on and how much but it's not required.
My advice.. take the two tickets and go see your family for Thanksgiving. Maybe spending the holiday alone will open up is eyes?
Quoting MrsSexyCurtains:
I couldn't be married to someone who thinks of his money as his not ours. I'm a sahm and we both have our spending money after bills are paid. Why don't you go visit family by yourself and take the baby? Maybe look into jobs while you are away and have it all planned out to explain to him when you get home.
Quoting AnGLInterrupted:I understand. I wouldn't want to do it either. (tight hugs) I'm sorry sweetie. Hopefully you'll get through to him before it's too late.
Quoting SuperMom2433:
I know that it would probably open his eyes but I can't and won't do that. I won't have my daughter wondering why we aren't spending Thanksgiving without daddy. I think Im going to sit down with him tonight when the kids are in bed and discuss this with him. I need him to understand where Im coming from. I need him to understand how important this is to me. I've already told him but he's still not grasping it fully.
Quoting AnGLInterrupted:I have no idea what to tell you on this sweetie. My dh is very much a "we" or "our" person. It's "our" money. I don't have to ask him permission to spend any of it. I will say though, that out of repsect I do tell him what I'm spending the money on and how much but it's not required.
My advice.. take the two tickets and go see your family for Thanksgiving. Maybe spending the holiday alone will open up is eyes?
Does your DH/SO....
Who do you love more,your husband or kids
- SuperMom2433
on Aug. 30, 2012 at 11:13 AM