He says Sexual Flirting and Kissing Co-Worker is No Big Deal.
Thank you wonderful ladies for all of the insight.
I need some perspective on a situation I'm having with my husband of 20+ years.
We have been having problems for a long time and I have pulled away from the marriage.
Our sex life is non-existent and we are living more like roommates then husband and wife.
I know this leads to infidelity but I have always told my husband if he wanted out or wanted to
see someone else then he needed to be open and honest and let me know. I would rather
have our relationship end on an honest note and still have the trust between us for our children.
Well just like most marriage counselors predict my husband had an emotional affair.
I can't prove a physical affair but he said he did not have one and that the sexual flirting,
deleting text messages, long private phone conversations and kisses (he said short pecks on the lips)
he gave to his co-worker were no big deal. This is the second time that I have caught him sexually
flirting with a co-worker. I told him with the first one that I did not want him flirting with anyone
but he says he is a flirt and It's no big deal. I also found an email from my husband to his
co-worker implying a sexual rendezvous at work on a Saturday. The email was about
soundproofing his office on a Saturday with a winking smiley face. He said it was not big deal
and I'm making mountains out of mole hills. He won't let me talk to his co-worker and gets
angry and defensive when I say I want to talk to her. He has told me if I need to talk to her
then we might as well get a divorce right now. That I should trust him and that is his place of
employment. He also said he talked to her to explain that things were going to be different
between them because we were going to try to work things out. My thing is this if he was hiding
things, lying about things and telling his co-worker that he was going to treat her differently
because we were going to be working things out all of those point to affair for me. I just want to
make sure I'm not crazy I need some honest opinions. I know I'm a partly responsible for the
deterioration of my marriage but I'm in no way responsible for an affair. I was not happy
either and made a choice not to be unfaithful. I'm leaning towards a divorce because
I can't trust him. I just don't want to mess up my daughter's last two years of school with a divorce.
I don't know what to do.
He said "she is a good friend of 10 years." She has NEVER been to any family functions. They are co-workers.