I feel helpless

[nicole6870]

99% sure DH has melanoma. I've been begging him for years to get the spots checked and more keep popping up. His mother (cancer survivor) saw his back and chest a few weeks ago and has been begging him to see a dr. His sister (nurse) about tackled him to see his back and chest and is very upset. All of us say it is text book melanoma. He has finally admitted that he thinks it is cancer. DH is a whiney baby w/colds but NOTHING is ever serious. But he says, "what am I supposed to do? I don't have insurance, I can't afford it. I can't run up the cost anymore bc next year we'll HAVE to have insurance whether we eat or not. I have a family to support I can't not work." Laying in bed I was rubbing his back and looking at a particularly dark spot on and I fell apart. This happens about once a week but this time I couldn't stop. I am so scared. I'm 27, we've been together since I was 15. It will be 13 yrs next month. I don't want to lose him. I don't know how to be without him. We have 3 kids and they need their Daddy. I need him. He's my best friend. I can't picture life without him. I don't want to. There wasn't much point to this. If you pray please pray send good thoughts whatever. I just needed to try to get it out. I want to wake him up and let him tell me it's gonna be ok but he can't fix it and he wont even go to a damn dr.

[mommymegan06]

 im sorry for what your going through. my prayers go out to you and your family :/

[fostermomoftwo]

Well if he loves you and his children he will go to the doctor, this is very serious. he needs to go, you never know maybe it is maybe its not. But before he gives you a heart attack he needs to go!

I couldnt imagine my dh getting cancer, my classmate that i knew since i was 10, sweetest person ever and she just had a baby, well she went to the doc and found out she had a severe stage of cancer, but just died couple days ago. horrible she and her family didnt deserve it, she was 29.

[mustloveanimals]

I'm so sorry. I hope he finds the emotional strength to face his fears and the bills, and go to a doctor.

[OHgirlinCA]

 The sooner he gets treatment the better.  How is it going to help his family if he's dead?  Melanoma is not something to ignore or mess with.  He needs to go see a dermatologist ASAP.

[lovinglife0682]

Sometimes the moles we think are serious may not necessarily be. He needs to just go in. Don't stress until there is a reason. Many times they are just removed.

[AnGLInterrupted]

Whether you can afford to or not, he needs to get it check out.  It could be benign.  You never know.  (hugs)

[motherofbandc]

There is financial assistance available for people who have a cancer diagnosis without health insurance. 1st place I would contact is the local health department and see if they have a primary care clinic that works on a sliding scale. If so he can then have his moles checked out. If these come back as malignant the health dept is going to be a great resource to find other assistance. I am a nurse at our local health department and part of our duties are providing resources for out patients.

[nicole6870]

I agree. I think he's scared to find out and idk. Idk anything right now. Usually I keep it together better than this.

Quoting OHgirlinCA:

 The sooner he gets treatment the better.  How is it going to help his family if he's dead?  Melanoma is not something to ignore or mess with.  He needs to go see a dermatologist ASAP.

[nicole6870]

That's what I tried to tell him. That's what i've been telling myself I just lost it today with the fear. Idk how to convince him to just go to a dr.

Quoting lovinglife0682:

Sometimes the moles we think are serious may not necessarily be. He needs to just go in. Don't stress until there is a reason. Many times they are just removed.

[lovinglife0682]

Make the appointment and tell him if he doesn't go you could be charged.

Quoting nicole6870:

That's what I tried to tell him. That's what i've been telling myself I just lost it today with the fear. Idk how to convince him to just go to a dr.

Quoting lovinglife0682:

Sometimes the moles we think are serious may not necessarily be. He needs to just go in. Don't stress until there is a reason. Many times they are just removed.