My cell phone has been shut off for over a week because someone couldn't be bothered to pay our phone bill. He of course got on his mommy's cell phone plan. He said for 2 weeks he was going to send me money for a new phone,our storage payment,and to do something special with the kids. Last Wednesday he told me to let him know how much money I needed on Thursday and he'd Western Union it on Friday. He calls on Friday and says that he isn't sending me any money. I kind of expected it but it still pissed me off.
We talked on Saturday and had an ok conversation. I had brought up something he said when he was deployed last when his mom and I had an argument he had said "don't make me choose between you and my famiy" I told him that should have been a red flag right there. He didn't understand why. Maybe I'm the only one that thinks this way but when someone that I know is married and has kids talks about family I immediately think of their spouse and children first,parents and siblings second. Is that not what a normal person thinks? So I told him that I know now that he would have chosen them. He got mad and said that he didn't choose anybody. I said "if your mom wouldn't have given you that money to leave you'd still be here" and he said "fuck yeah I would be" So does it sound to any of you like he chose between us??
He called yesterday and asked when the boys' school year was over (school just started 2 weeks ago!) I told him end of May,and asked why. He said that he's trying to figure out when he can get the kids and take them down to Florida for awhile. I told him that was a long ways away and I don't want to talk about it right now. He asked what other breaks through the school year there was and I told him Christmas and Spring Break but I highly doubt I'll let him have the kids on Christmas,he said he already figured that. He then said that since I have the kids throughout the school year (because he left us!!!!) he thinks it's more then fair that he gets them for the majority of the summer. I told him that was far away and a lot could change and I don't want to talk about it right now or make a plan this early let's just wait and see what happens.
He has NO clue I'm gonna file,I'm just gonna spring the papers on him and I had to physically bite my tongue to keep from saying "we'll see what my lawyer thinks is fair"
Also on Saturday he said that I had 7 years to prove that I loved him and that he was the only man for me and I couldn't do it. I kind of thought scrapping my dream wedding to get married in the courthouse,quitting a job I love to be a SAHM because that's what he wanted,moving to another state and living away from friends and family for 6 years,going through a deployment,and having 2 more kids when he knew from the start I only wanted 1 was all signs that I loved him more then anything. I'm also trying to figure out when all these other dicks were in me..since he said I didn't prove he was the only man for me..doesn't that sound like he thinks I cheated? I never cheated on him,not once. The worse I did was when he was deployed a mutual friend of ours started telling me the things that I needed to hear that my husband wasn't telling me. I got caught up in it because for the first time in a long time a man was making me feel special. I did end up sending the friend a pic of my boobs. I was wrong,I was stupid. I owned up to it I told dh everything I never once attempted to hide it or lie about it. Not saying that what I did wasn't bad but I never physically cheated.
Quoting BJoneSin:Wow...well, sounds like y'all are def over. Good luck.
I'm so sorry he's being such a butthead! I'm glad that you at least have things in order (with a lawyer and such). I hope things work out and don't worry about whatever mess he wants to talk about! He sounds like a loser.
*~*Wifey To Tommy(2.4.11), Mommy to Allyana(7.5.08), & Our angel baby Jovanny(3.6.10)*~*
Everything happens for a reason!! Sounds to me like you will be better off without him. It's crazy all that we do for someone we love and they don't realize that it was all for them. Good luck and hang in there!
oh I'm going for supervised visitation so he won't even be alone with the kids let alone taking them out of state..he's gonna realize what a mistake he made by going so far away when he has to spend so much money to just see his kids and if it's his time to see them and he doesn't have the money or ability it's on him and I'm sure the court will frown on that.
Quoting Ilaynasmommy:
Definately dont let him get the kids until it is settled legally.
Quoting mistyDaze76:Everything happens for a reason!! Sounds to me like you will be better off without him. It's crazy all that we do for someone we love and they don't realize that it was all for them. Good luck and hang in there!
Why can't you try counseling first....Deployments are very hard period. If he isn't giving you any money what so ever I would be at his command talking to someone for help! Wow, it just seems like someone needs to do some growing up. You ahve kids together and they need to be first! Hubby needs a good wake up call.
He got out of the Army last February..so no command to go to. But this deployment was 07-09. We did try counseling before he deployed,after the 3rd session he said "we made progress" and refused to go again. When he came home from deployment he set up counseling again,and again after the 3rd session he said "we're making progress" and refused to go back again. I even told him once we see the progress is when it's crucial to keep going. We separated for a few months last summer and he asked for a divorce and I said give me 6 months of counseling and if you still want the divorce I'll do it no questions asked. He asked me to come back but never did counseling :(
Quoting kaitybird:Why can't you try counseling first....Deployments are very hard period. If he isn't giving you any money what so ever I would be at his command talking to someone for help! Wow, it just seems like someone needs to do some growing up. You ahve kids together and they need to be first! Hubby needs a good wake up call.
Its always gotta be about him. kinda long
- oaknaydsmom
on Sep. 4, 2012 at 9:04 AM