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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Help my husband is an alcoholic

Posted by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 3:06 PM
  • 27 Replies

Hi ladies. I don't post in here very often, but I need some advice with my husband. He has a really bad drinking problem and it's ruining our marriage. I will admit it's only Utah beer which is a lower alcohol content, but he can go through at least five 24 packs in 2 days on the weekend. He starts the moment he wakes up and is going at it until he goes to bed. On weekdays he will come home from work with a 12 pack and drink that in less than 2 hours.

He knows how much I hate it, and he has told me he will stop and then he gives me a guilt trip about how he can't stay completely sober, or else he will realize how crappy his life is... and that he quit smoking so I have to let him have at least something. He also tells me "well it's Utah beer and be happy it's not hard alcohol." Well if we have a bottle of something else, he will drink that in less than a day. I'm worried that he will get cirrhosis of the liver, I know of 2 people personally that died that way. One from 'just Utah beer' but he drank just like my husband.

Any ideas would be helpful. Thanks

 

by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 3:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SareyF
by Sarah on Sep. 4, 2012 at 3:11 PM
There's nothing you can do if he won't recognize that it's a problem and if he doesn't want to fix it. It's all on him. All you can do is decide how much you can handle and encourage him to get better. Don't enable him.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
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SmilesDisco
by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 3:39 PM

What is that you dont like. Is he mean? become lazy? or is just the amount that bothers you?

AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Sep. 4, 2012 at 3:48 PM

My dad has been an alcoholic since he was 16 years old.  He's 55 years old now.  He quit once for 5 years when I was born, then started drinking again.

You can't make him quit.  It's something he's got to do on his own.  The only thing you can do is decide to stay and deal with it, or leave him.  I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear..

The truth is addiction is just as much mental as it is physical.  Mentally he's got to WANT to quit in order to do so.  You can't force him to do it.  (hugs)

emace37
by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 5:24 PM
It's mainly the amount that kills me. He becomes irritable and depressed then makes me feel like crap.


Quoting SmilesDisco:

What is that you dont like. Is he mean? become lazy? or is just the amount that bothers you?


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amber710
by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 8:26 PM
It sounds like he is being really selfish and ignoring your needs. He also is probably spending a good amount of money on all that beer. I would say put your foot down but it sounds like he wouldnt respect it. Would he go to counseling if you agreed to go too.
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nellyb118
by Member on Sep. 4, 2012 at 8:29 PM
He needs to want help...I think you either have to leave or decide to put up with it :-(
My grandfather died when my dad was in his teens bc of alcohol...he went to rehab several times but couldn't stop. He left behind 5 kids and never met any grandkids.
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shamroc374
by Member on Sep. 4, 2012 at 8:30 PM
1 mom liked this
He has to want to quit on his own. An addict will not be successful in quiting if they are not ready. My advice to you is to start going to Al-Anon meetings for yourself to get help for having a family member that is an addict.
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kimbotspot
by on Sep. 4, 2012 at 8:34 PM
1 mom liked this

He has to want to quit...go to Al-Anon meetings in the meantime to help you learn to cope and deal with living with an alochoholic....I am an addict myself, and until I only was able to stay stopped once I had the willingness..good luck!

emace37
by on Sep. 5, 2012 at 12:08 AM
Thanks everyone. I think if I can catch him in a moment where he doesn't have a beer in his hand... I'll reiterate how much it's hurting me... Us... And see where that gets me.
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kmjmlj
by New Member on Sep. 5, 2012 at 12:18 AM
2 moms liked this
Ok so.he claims he drinks so he doesn't have to face how crappy his life is? Aren't you a part of his life? So he's really saying your part if the problem right? Bring that up see what he says.
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